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January 16, 2009

Keeping Fug With the Kardashians

Let's see how many trends Kim Kardashian can wear at one time!

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We've got:

(1) Necklace of Potentially Dangerous Pointy-ness (which I rather like, except that the longer I look at it, the more it kind of looks like paper clips on a strand. Which would be a very cost-effective, multi-tasky way to accessorize. Take note, Staples!)

(2) Big Ol' Blazer (fine).

(3) Super Complicated Shoes (sexy)

(4) A Cropped F'ing Jumpsuit (SERIOUSLY, if you're going to do the jumpsuit thing, FINE GO AHEAD, but CROPPED plus shoes that contort themselves to your ankles make you look HELLACIOUSLY STUMPTASTICAL. JUST SO YOU KNOW.)

(5) A Bag I am willing to wager she's had for a couple of years (refreshingly normal)

(6) Earlier in this family of pics, she was wearing ONE FINGERLESS GLOVE (who are you? Michael Jackson) but in the interest of fairness....I believe she was just trying it on, and not having been present, I can not vouch that she didn't wave it at one of her entourage and say, "Who am I? MICHAEL JACKSON?"

(7) Dude Considering Picking His Nose, but for now, deciding to just scratch the outside of it aggressively (those are EVERYWHERE now).

THE VERDICT: SEVEN. I feel like given that very high number, she should look worse than she does. SIGH. Kim, you made a valient effort with the truly awkward length of those pants in conjuction with everything else, but I suspect you could have made yourself look a bit more noticably whack if you'd just PUT IN MORE EFFORT. I expect more from you, as a person who is famous for LITERALLY NOTHING. Don't you CARE if people GAWK at you? GOD.

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A book, huh? Is it just stuff you already put on the Web site?

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