So, when I was a young girl, I had a subscription to Seventeen and also, of course, to Sassy. Can I just take a minute and reflect on how much I loved Sassy? I wish I'd kept all my issues of it, but obviously I was not to know that fifteen years later I would think to myself, "I really wish I still had that issue of Sassy where they mentioned that hitting yourself in the mouth with a brick is not a good substitute for collagen injections, or the one where Evan Dando gives his recipe for tacos, or the one where Tori Spelling gives the writer a tour of her condo and the writer is like clearly really kind of unimpressed by how dumb Tori is, but then grudgingly admits she seems kind of nice." But this is not about Sassy. It is about how when I was, say, fifteen -- which seems to be the ideal age to READ Seventeen, at least then -- one of the spring issues of Seventeen would be devoted entirely to the prom, and it would come complete with like SERIOUSLY FIFTEEN PAGES of an ad buy from some large-scale purveyor of prom dresses. This was stuck in the middle of the magazine almost like a little catalog. It was AWESOME, in part because many of the dresses were CRAZY. They were all very shiny, for one thing -- often overlaid with black lace -- and there was ALWAYS at least two that came with a hoop skirt. And I am pretty sure that probably long-dead Promatorium provided Virginia Madsen's dress here:
If only she had a matching parasol, then I would be POSITIVE.
If only she had a matching parasol, then I would be POSITIVE.
