GWYNETH: Hi, Jack!
JOAQUIN: Who is Jack?
GWYNETH: You're not... oh, sorry, sir, I thought you were Jack Black preparing for a role in some kind of movie about the Amish. My mistake! A thousand apologies.
JOAQUIN: It's okay, Gwyneth. I understand if you didn't recognize me. I'm a rapper now.
GWYNETH: I'm sorry, do we know each other?
JOAQUIN: It's me, Gwyneth. Joaquin Phoenix. From Gladiator. And Walk The Line.
GWYNETH: Ha ha ha, you are such a kidder. You think I'm going to fall for any old name now that I've screwed up once? Nice try, mister.
JOAQUIN: Quills? Signs? Inventing The Abbotts? Ring any bells?
GWYNETH: Well done, trickster, you've memorized Joaquin's IMDb page. Clever prank. Now please disengage from me.
JOAQUIN: Listen, lady, why would I lie? You're wearing plastic Mom shorts and giant grey hooves. Why would I want to impress you?
GWYNETH: .... You're RIGHT! It IS you, Joaquin!
JOAQUIN: No, I've lost interest now, it's too late. Be gone. You will be hearing from my lawyers, to make sure that it's okay that I pour my feelings about this encounter into a new rap song.
GWYNETH: Not if Coldplay beats you to it. GAME ON, furry little man.
JOAQUIN: GAME ON.
