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February 19, 2009

I Fugged a Girl, and I Liked It

OKAY, KATY PERRY:

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We're ALL LOOKING AT YOU. Are you FINALLY HAPPY? If we all agree that you deserve as much attention as it is possible for the planet to give, will you cease and desist molesting poor innocent Hello Kitty and LEAVE US ALL ALONE FOR FIVE MINUTES? Thank you.

PS: Also, please stop dressing like a banana. It's ruining breakfast and that's nearly all I've got left.

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A book, huh? Is it just stuff you already put on the Web site?

Nope, we wrote the whole thing fresh, just for you.

Awesome. In that case, I want to read it!

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