Oh, RACHEL WEISZ. She's normally so pretty, but this weekend...well, we had some issues. Let's start with her look for the Vanity Fair party, AKA Night of A Million Networking Moments:
I saw this on the runway like two days before she wore it -- this sounds so glamorous, but please believe me when I tell you that seeing it on the runway was book-ended by, like, spilling coffee all down the front of my Gap turtleneck and being serenaded for twenty minutes on the subway by a man who seemed to specialize in soft, yoga-inspired flute-jazz that did not, in fact, make me want to find my deepest chakras but actually brought me to the brink of flute-inspired MURDER -- and it looked much better there than it did on her, even with the white tights and shoes. I've been trying to figure out why for like the last three days, and I think it might be HER shoes. I love the dress, but I think the cut of the skirt is fighting with the strappy strappiness of the shoes, and, as that ancient proverb taught us, when your lower body can't agree, truly fugly you might be.
And then we had the ensemble she threw together for the Independent Spirit Awards:
I saw this on the runway like two days before she wore it -- this sounds so glamorous, but please believe me when I tell you that seeing it on the runway was book-ended by, like, spilling coffee all down the front of my Gap turtleneck and being serenaded for twenty minutes on the subway by a man who seemed to specialize in soft, yoga-inspired flute-jazz that did not, in fact, make me want to find my deepest chakras but actually brought me to the brink of flute-inspired MURDER -- and it looked much better there than it did on her, even with the white tights and shoes. I've been trying to figure out why for like the last three days, and I think it might be HER shoes. I love the dress, but I think the cut of the skirt is fighting with the strappy strappiness of the shoes, and, as that ancient proverb taught us, when your lower body can't agree, truly fugly you might be.
And then we had the ensemble she threw together for the Independent Spirit Awards:
Threw together being the operative word. I kind of get all these pieces on their own. Booties: cute. Dress: whatever, fine, the early 1990s are back, I am getting out my Express romper even as we speak, it rather appeals, etc. Blazer: ridiculously oversized, but perhaps it's actually a COAT, in which case, whatever. But! Together, I feel as though this combines into like a tragic mix of Quasi-Sloppy Grunge Cake and while I get that it's the INDEPENDENT Spirit Awards, I rather wish she looked less like a cute girl on her way to the library to study for her biochem midterm and more like...a movie star. Even an independent one.
