Fug Madness 2009, Sweet Sixteen continued: Madonna bracket

Sorry Joaquin, but your time is up.

Oh please god, tell me that is the shadow of the microphone and not a sweaty boob!

Solange will take it all!

Solange all the way. I have hope for Joaquin, and I think this is just a stunt for him. Solange, on the other hand, seems to think she actually looks good in these horribly fugly outfits.

The thing is, at least Solange is interesting to look at...Joaquin's new look makes me want to cry.

The Perry/Deyn battle exhausted me, but I'm going to say that Pac-man eyes on the boobs wins over Unabomber every time.

The sheer depth of the fall from epitome of attractiveness to crap bin of "here is my number, now, I only get one phone call a night at the group home" ass-tacular is the basis for a vote in Joaquin's favor.

And, Solange is neither a bonafide talent or star capable of pulling votes from a Phoenix...

SOLANGE! She is a treasure and she must face SWINTON in the final fugdown!

In contemplating this match-up, I suddenly and regrettably envisioned what would happen if Solange and Joaquin ever had a love-child.

Dumpsters and Circus supply stores everywhere would celebrate.

These people redefine the term "attention deficit". They can't seem to get enough.

It has to be Solange. Joaquin is just unkempt; Solange has to go out and deliberately choose her funk.

I had a feeling Whack-keem would fall to "I Wish I Were Beyonce" Knowles.
The Bai will crush Solange like a rice grain in the Saki stomping pit.

Oh no, JP is far more fugly -- you KNOW his boobs are sweat stained. Among other things.

He's creating a habitat for tiny wildlife in that beard. It's very Green of him, not using water and putting soap into the environment and all, but I think the resultant air pollution is counteracting anything environmentally friendly. And he's KILLING MY EYES.

WOW. Solange is formidable!!! Of course, her CLOTHES are fug, whereas she herself is not--as opposed to Joaquin's fug being mainly in his skeeve, rather than his clothes, not that they are lovely or anything. GO SOLANGE!!! AND I DIDN'T EVEN VOTE FOR YOU BUT NOW THAT I'VE ANALYZED THE SITUATION I WISH I HAD!!! I GUESS I CAN, ACTUALLY, SINCE THIS IS NOT LIKE THE GENERAL ELECTION OR ANYTHING!!! WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME??? I'M GETTING ALL KANYE-FIED WITH THE CAPPS AND ALLAOIJ; OIHPAOSDIJF !!!!!!!!!!11111!!!!!!!!!! FUG MADNESS, INDEED!!! :)

With Joaquin, I think its a stunt. Unfortch, with Solange, she truly believes in the crazypants.

Yes, Yes, YES. Solange is winning mightily over Joaquin and his freakishly fugly beard.
The little sad clown that is Solange must go all the way. In fact, I have changed my mind that SWINTON must win it all and believe that Solange deserves the fug crown and all its glory.
GO SOLANGE!

I miss the old Joaquin

Solange doesn't wish she were Beyonce at all....that's the whole reason she's been dressing the way she has been: to differentiate herself and get her own personality. Her fug is actually a tragic plea for her family to notice her.

Had to go with Solange.My general rule has been that I expect women to care more about appearance, and Joaquin is also a serious actor who may be going through a phase.

There's such a thing as a fug phase, and there's the life of fug. I think we know who falls where. Come on Solange!

I will miss you Vagrant Spice!

Solange FTW!

How does one choose? Can one vote for what is possibly the external manifestation of some deep mental turmoil, and feel good about herself? Is it, in fact, WORSE than a starlet's ubiquitously desperate holla for attention? Are they even comparable?

Eh ... smiley nipples gets it.

Gotta be Solange. There's nothing wrong with Joaquin that a haircut, shave and bath wouldn't fix. But there is no fixing Solange's sense of "style."

I had to read all of the great comments here before I came down firmly on the side of the lovely Solange. I think Joaquin has either had some sort of breakdown or even an awful head injury to be walking around like that pretending to be a hip hop artist. Seriously.

Solange’s shirt truly has nothing to smile about.

Is that really PacMan gobbling up her boobies?

how can you deny solange-i-wear-fetlocks-and-nosestrips-knowles her rightful win here?! joaquin is just doing it as a stunt and/or has simply gotten lazy about his shaving. lack of effort does not make thee fug-worthy!

That picture of Joaquin's former self made me want to cry! He is so good looking, please, bring it back. Or at least take a shower.

Solange doesn't have the option of going back to anything good. Her fug is in her blood.

Oh, god... it pains me that I cannot vote Joaquine on this one. I railed against eyeballs on the breasts with Katy Perry and I have to be even-handed so firm with Solange, as well. Why - after how many centuries of telling men, "AHEM - my eyes are UP HERE!", would we then go about putting actual eyeballs ON our breasts???

And, of course, that is but 1 of her many sins.

Joaquine looks like he smells like the floor of a frat house party room... but Solange... girl - what the hell are you DOING?!

JerkyGirl, your post made me fart and laugh at the same time!!

Had to vote Solange. Joaquin might be mentally ill, and I can't fug someone like that- I have enough bad karma to make up for anyway! Besides, it's not like Solange didn't earn it!

Solange FTW.

Nothing can be fuglier than a sweaty breast with a smiley face on it.

oh, man. i wish this was closer. publicity stunt, performance art, whatever you call it, joaquin phoenix has let his look go to hell. it's not just the facial hair, or the glasses. bye good.

Solange is fug. Joaquin is insane. While I'm afraid she'll scar my retinas, I'm terrified that he will eat my soul.

I can't stop laughing at the comments!! This has been a great week at "work", thanks FUGGIRLS!!
Solange. Hands down.

my friday is already going badly enough, now you post a picture of my beautiful joaquin pre-whateverthehellitisthatheisdoing? I feel like weeping. come back to us joaquin! you are sorely missed!

Would someone PLEASE cornify.com that second picture of Joaquin?! I truly believe the magical glitter of the unicorn horn dancing in a sparkly cloud of happiness is his only hope...or mine, if I have to look at that greasy mug for one more day.

P.S. If Lesser Knowles bends forward, does her shirt frown? Cause that would be the proper sartorial expression for her blatant fug.

Ok, Solange is fug, but Joaquin is SCARY FUG and I think that over rides plain normal fug.

i voted for Solange because her Twitter is AWESOME

Gone are the days of Joaquin as a troubled, angsty pubescent in "Parenthood", only to give way to the troubled, crazy Joaquin of today. However, I'm calling BS on this whole rapper/Yeti nonsense and am interpreting it as a costume. Solange has always worn the fug proudly on her sleeve, both on stage and off, and so I think she is owed the win for her efforts in consistent fuggery.

Joaquin just needs a bath. Solange all the way!

Trap door opens, Joaquin falls into the fug abyss.

And he can't come back until he cleans up his act!

Soldier on, Solange. Girl, you got the goods!

you know, i came here all ready to support joaquin to the fuggy end, but every time i see solange, she has on something more hideous than the last time...that's true dedication. joaquin on the other hand just needs a hazmat bath and a kick in the ass to stop all his mockumetary fuckery.

viva sasha's sister!!!

(i keep forgetting to comment, but reading them is more fun anyways :)

Thank you, oh gods of the Fug! Solange is taking out Sasquatch.

Maybe she wore her "nipple eye" (sounds like a James Bond movie title) shirt to keep watch over the audience while she throws her head back in FUG ecstasy.

Jaoquin is a one trick pony of fug, Solange is creative, inventive and suprising in her fug

Amazingal, that is TRULY the compliment I never knew I always wanted. My day has been made, and I am content. I thank you. :)

I refuse to support what I strongly suspect is a publicity stunt by the aptly christened Vagrant Spice. Solange is actually unhinged when it comes to fashion!

He was so hot, even on my secret list. Now he just looks homeless! It better be just a stunt JP! Or I will come to your house with a bucket of soapy water and scissors!

Even after all that Solange for the win...shes a special treasure trove of crazy.

I was so prepared to pick MC Hirsute until I saw the insanity that is the dress Solange is wearing- a PAC-MAN HAPPY FACE EMBLAZONED ON HER TOP?! That girl takes fug to another level.

Solange for the win

Sigh. I'd forgotten how yummy Joaquin used to be. Now I'm sad.

But I'm voting for Solange, because I'm worried JP is unhinged, and it would be cruel to vote for him if so.

Anyone remember how gorgeous River was?

Solange "wins". Leafquin is very unkempt and looks smelly, but Solange... well, you've seen her. They are both painful, but Solange slightly more than Leafquin. Maybe the requirement to always look fab really got to him?
Oh, Heater? Re; Danii Minouge's fug or fab? The GLOVE-things, woman! AAAAH! The dress is fab, but the biker-whatever-gloves?
Hee. This site gives me a happi, all the time!

Yeah, as I think I've said before in these threads ... I spent my formative years in Berkeley; to me, Mr. Phoenix post-beard looks NORMAL.

I honestly think Joaquin is just being a little lazy between movies and figures why not get a laugh out of it. Solange, on the other hand, is intentionally cultivating a look and is convinced that she is WORKING IT. Only one of them is truly funny, and that's why she got my vote.

Oh my god, the tiny Pac-mans (Pac-men??) over the boobs made me gasp out loud, which made my coworker come out of his cubicle to look at me. Even he said I HAD to vote for Solange, which I was going to do anyway, but still....I enjoy confirmation of my beliefs. OH MY GOD!!!

HAHAHAHAHA! This is seriously the funniest post of the contest so far! Thanks Fug Girls for making my miserable life as an accountant during tax season bearable.

Final 2: Solange and SWINTON.

I don't think Joaquin's fugness is a publicity stunt so much as a rebellious anti-celebrity move. He is rejecting the image the media had bestowed on him. Now that being said I wouldn't touch him as he is now. But he's got guts and isn't that what fug is all about, misguided guts.

Wow. Today's match-ups killed my brackets--except this one. Thank you, Solange!

Solange is a treasure, true, but Joaquim's fug goes into the realm of smell and sound. That's fug assault on all the senses.

RachelBeth@12:42 -

Wish granted! http://calufrax.nac.net/~nathauan13/cornifiedfugquin.jpg

I, uhm. Well, it doesn't make it any better for ME. He's still gross. :( And Solange is going to eat him alive, throw Bai Ling under a bus, and come Fug to Fug with Aubrey O'Day for a shot at Championship!

I think Joaquin is trying to get out of a contract or something. Playing the crazy for all it's worth. But Solange, poor thing. She thinks she's 'interesting'.

SOLANGE FOR THE WIN!!

Joaquin has taken off on a bromance fueled adventure in media-punking with Casey Affleck, and his 'look' is part of the gag, Solange on the other hand is truly deeply fug.

It's a difficult choice.

One is clearly a cry for help. The other is... clearly a cry for help. But I believe there is hope for Solange. (Assuming her mom and sis fall off a cliff and a stage, respectively.) See Simpson, Ashlee for a case study.

But such fug determination as Joaquin has shown this year deserves a reward.

I think JPhoenix is having serious mental issues. I have heard people say he is doing this just for publicity.

How is getting press coverage of flushing your carreer down the toilet a SANE publicity move?

Something is going on behind those sungalsses that scares me.

Because Solange has been at it for so long, and because Joaquin has obviously fallen off his rocker, and really he doesn't have anything that a good razor and some time wouldn't cure, I guess my vote goes to Solange.

My friends and I filled out our brackets and wagered rounds of drinks on the winner; by going one match-up at a time, with no real strategy, I ended up with Solange as the victor. I was starting to get a little twitchy, because their wagers were Lady Gaga and SWINTON - worthy adversaries indeed - and I was beginning to despair. But Solange's nip eyeballs have restored my faith in humanity. Knowles is in it to win it, you guys.

My 4.5 year old just laughed out loud and yelled, "Her dress is talking!" So clearly, Solange gets my vote.

The uber unwashed skanky scuzziness of Phoenix must, I repeat <UST prevail.

I had to go with Solange on this one. She has me praying that God will take my sense of vision away.

I am having WAY too much fun.

That said, I picked Solange in part for all her horrifying choices but also because I swear she looks like Orlando Jones with boobs and a wig.

After walking by a homeless man everyday for a year that Joaquin has apparently decided to make his new "character," I have to go with Solange.
Seriously, her "normal" clothes make her look about as crazy as Joaquin, then she goes a little nuts with the make-up across the face and kills rare birds for capes. At least Phoenix is vegan and doesn't kill innocent animals for his crazy (or didn't at one point, now I'm totally not sure).

no contest - he may be suffering a mental breakdown or he may be punking us. Either way, she CHOOSES to dress like a nutball- she put EYES on her boobs people!

Looking at Pre-rap Phoenix makes me so sad. Maybe the fact that he made it this far in Fug Madness (he made it further than SJP! And Keira! And...other fug-tastic fugliness!) will convince him that he has turned off the straight and narrow and please, please, just return to your handsome, clean-shaven self. Please? Do you really want to be fuglier than SJP? No, you do not.

I voted for Solange, but I love Gabi's nickname of "Vagrant Spice" for JP and Mara's comment that he needs "a Hazmat Bath"!!

No contest for me...while Vagrant Spice up there is not someone I'd feel comfortable standing next to in a crowded room, Solange truly possesses The Crazy. She wants this title, and I think her versus Bai will be epic...

Bye bye Joaquin. Poor personal hygiene does not a fug champion make.

Now it gets interesting! There is no question that Solange has (deservedly, very fuggily) been leading the pack since coming out of the starting gate, creaming Drunkface McCord and Jessica Simpson along the way. All things must come to an end, though. BAI LING is going to trounce her to move on to the Elite Eight. GO BAI LING, for the GOLD!!!

Haha! It looks like a nasty sweaty boob to me! Ick! You would think with all her sisters money laying around she could afford some baby powder.

Her boobs are looking at me. I don't appreciate it.

Oooh! Oooh! I just had an awesome "the world is coming to an end" fug vision. Joaquin with his Crazy Bushman of Borneo Beard (sorry, Borneo-ian bushfolk!) and his "BYE" "GOOD" hand tats...standing next to Bai Ling in any of her fug outfits with her message bandages on her legs. It's a literary stroke of fuggery! Yes! YESSS!!!

Oh gods - I need gin therapy now...

M'kay, Solange (Lozenge) is one of those people I know nothing of. BUT, this smiley-happy-booby-face shirt made me pee-laugh.

Solange is going all the way to face SWINTON! Trust.

1. Joaquin is clearly dressed identically in both shots: only his personal grooming has gone to hell in the after shot. But he does look, um, stinky.
2. That is not a sweat stain on Solange's boob, that is the shadow of the mic stand. See the little C-grip shadow at the top to hold the mic?
3. Doesn't Solange's mom dress her, like, in her own designs? Not that it's an excuse, but, howya gonna say, 'No *WAY*, Mom!'
It's a tough call. I went for Joaquin, but I coulda flipped for it. P.S. No way will Solange topple the fugaciousness that is SWINTON!

HA! Erin is so right, Solange looks EXACTLY like Orlando Jones in drag. Not the reason I voted for her, though. Again, for me, hilarious fug beats Prozac fug time and again. Joaquin's derelicte fug has only made me sigh in disappointment and pity. I have spent many an hour laughing at Solange's eye stripes and Fraggle coats. I picked SWINTON to take it all, but Solange is looking really tough...

Seeing the old Joaquin made me feel a little emotional for a minute. So, on the off chance that he's having a Britney Level Event, I had to vote for Miss Knowles, Jr. And her PacMan boobs.

At least Joaquin can shave, Solange was clearly born with that dress sense. Nothing can fix that kind of personality problem.

"I will miss you Vagrant Spice!"

That made me snort cabernet onto my laptop screen.

Wha-ha-ha-ha! Pac-man nipples and ruffles! HAHAHAHAHA! Solange! Solange! Solange!

I think the way you framed this match-up is apt: JP is in a fugly crazy phase, but Solange has always been in it.

Can you just imagine how awesome Solange Vs. Posh would have been? This battle was a waste!

Boohoo. Alright I will move on now.....

I love Solange, and I think Joaquin is either mentally ill or seriously career challenged. Solange all the way.

Wait...Solange is a SINGER?
Well, I'll be damned.

I still believe that Joaquin is perpetuating some sort of Andy Kaufmanesque routine on us all and he will go back to his somewhat normal, if overly earthy, crunchy self once he tires of this bit. Solfug is just that - with no positive past to relive or hope for redemption.

I just couldn't bring myself to vote for Solange. She looks so happy in that photo, blissfully unaware that her breasts are winking at us. I had to give it to the Bearded One. If his transformation IS all in the name of irony, it's gone on far too long and we're not laughing any more. And if it's not, pull yourself together man and buy a razor.

SOLANGE'S SHIRT IS GLORIOUS.

...as is the concise write-up for this. I love that you two can not only spew a sentence of epic length packed full of references that have me rolling on the floor, but you also have the quickness to deliver a one-liner, as it were. So good.

Go Solange, GO!!
Ohh please god get the mountain man out of my corneas.

It has to be Sol-AHHNJH.

Joaquin, go get hit by a bar of soap and a razor. Yuck.

See, thing here is, a haircut and shave would more or less FIX phoenix... knowles fug runs so deep its ingrained.

Oh, CROTCH HOLE - I bid thee Adieu. You and your traveling nadsack of Fug have been given the Bum's Rush!

This aint even a competition. Solange eats, sleeps, and breathes FUG. She makes my eyes bleed she's so ucking fugly!

What? No! NO! Joaquin is a walking crime against women and gay men - all that loveliness buried under that wall of FUG - how can this be? Whereas Solange is just desperate to look different from her sister, each fugly in her own way, it's true. I'm sad that Joaquin has taken such a drubbing here.

I feel in my soul that Joaquin's rap career will turn out to be some horrible, elaborate joke, and must therefore give victory to Solange, because you know her mama's making her wear that stuff, and she should know enough to say, "Mom, I do not need Pac-Man on my boobs, go away!"

Whoever made up "Vagrant Spice" deserves a Nobel Prize. Well done! But, alas, Miss Pac-Man must gobble him up. Maybe if Joaquin asks nicely Tina Knowles will become his personal stylist. THEN, we will see some real competition out of him!

Next year, Joaquin, would it kill you to have actual animals living in your beard? That we can see? I'd love to see a man win Fug Madness and I think JP is crazy enough to do it!

My head hurts trying to make up my mind between Wackqueen and Solange. Next year, can we please have more categories: worst guy, worst girl, worst stage costume?

Why is the thing nibbling on her ni***es?

Is that why the entire top is smiling?

I know in the end it will be Solange for the win, but I had to vote for Joaquin in this match-up if only because I had a rather bad day and being reminded of Joaquin dive from hotness was depressing, while Solange's shirt may be fug but at least it is happy. In the end, happy fug is still better than depressing fug. ;)

Why, Joaquin, why??

I think Pac-Man has been hired as the new "Got Milk?" spokesperson.

See ya Vagrant Spice! May you go on to be accosted by a razor, soap and water in a dark alley and be cured of your fugliness.

Solange all the way! She will take on SWINTON for the gold and I know she will be a strong contender. I mean these fugtastic outfits just keep coming out of the woodwork. Go Solange go!

Ahm... her nipples are staring at me. I'm scared.

Joaquin looks so mad...he used to look happy...and hot....why god, why!?

I honestly think Joaquin Phoenix is way hotter these days than before. Think me crazy, but I do.

"Hi, I'm Joaquin Phoenix! Did you hear that I've gone batshit crazy?" Hey, at least his meltdown is entertaining! Solange...is NOT entertaining because I've never heard OF (I repeat, "heard OF") a single Solange song existing. How do you guys obtain so much pictures of her? How does she even photographed that much in the first place? I'm just kind of at a loss right now! Simply put, she looks like she is DESPERATELY attempting to begin "new" trends. But like you ladies said, Michael Stipe already mastered that one, sweetheart. I'm not even going to compare her to her sister because they both fucking suck so it'd be a total waste of time.

Joaquin's get-up IS a put-on, he has a cameraman documenting his public antics a la Borat. ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz

Joaquin is going through a "stage", whereas Solange is just.... *sigh*... Solange. She gets this one without question.

i just about fell out of my chair laughing at solange's happy face emoticon top! hahaha! i think if it were just a t-shirt without the ruffly sleeves the effect wouldn't be nearly so hilarious. she should be standing next to miss frowney crotch for the maximum effect.
you know, i have worn a lot of STRANGE things in my time but that just take the cake.
joaquin may look awful right now, but it's nothing a shave & a haircut (two bits) can't fix. solange needs major medication and therapy to cure what ails her.

That is how Joaquin used to look like??? WHY.

Joaquin, you broke my heart.
You broke my heart.

The pac-man boobs did me in...

I can't get over the fact that Solange had a cd flop, got married, moved to Idaho, had a baby, divorced her husband, and is back at work on her career. Girl, tell me you didn't pick up your sense of style in Idaho! Napoleon Dynamite would not approve.

Solange, definitely! I suspect Joaquin Phoenix is filming a mockumentary of some sort, as Casey Affleck is constantly fiming his 'episodes'. Solange is just fugsane!

this. was. hard. solange though