Listen, Duffster, I applaud your moxie for taking on Faye Dunaway. For anyone not familiar with this incredibly unlikely feud, the facts are these: When Faye found out that Hilary has been cast as the title character in a new adaptation of Bonnie & Clyde -- an iconic Dunaway role for which she received an Oscar nomination -- Madam Faye allegedly said something along the lines of, "Couldn't they at least have cast a real actress?" This prompted Hilary to retort to the press, "I think it was a little unnecessary, but I might be mad if I looked like that now too."
Two thoughts:
1) Fair point, Duff. I might ALSO be mad if I had done what Fay possibly did to her eyes, at the very least. In fact, without regard to our personal safety, we totally nominated La Dunaway in our book, The Fug Awards, in the "Dr. Noooooo!" category for worst alleged plastic surgery. BUT...
2) If you are going to talk back, you might not want to run around in things like this:
[Photo: WENN.com]
Not only have your legs apparently turned purple recently, but if Faye gets wind of you running about town looking like you are three feet tall and completely comfortable flirting with paper shredders, she is going to run you through hers and then use your pulpy, bloody flesh-paste to spackle some holes in her wall.
Which brings me to:
3) I am not kidding: Faye Dunaway could carve out your insides with her pinky Press-On Nail and make jambalaya for twelve. And she's not wrong, entirely, EITHER -- if it's true what she said, then she was certainly RUDE and not a little cranky, but it is kind of a leap from playing Heather Locklear's kid in The Perfect Man to an indie film about Bonnie and Clyde. While I applaud you for doing it, DUDE, you have got to take the high road in these things and DO NOT PROD THE FAYE. Side effects of Prodding The Faye include dizziness, nausea, and mild liver damage. If you have trouble urinating or experience any facial swelling, consult your doctor about Prodding the Faye. Pregnant women and children should avoid Prodding The Faye without medical authorization. In clinical trials, Prodding The Faye caused heart explosions and tooth loss in 45 percent of short blondes who kind of look like Kristin Cavallari all of a sudden.
Got all that? Great. Now go run through a blooming field of flowers and hop in a bathtub conveniently placed by a cliff's edge right next to one in which Faye is cleaning and sunning herself. Because this cautionary tale needs a bizarre ending.
Two thoughts:
1) Fair point, Duff. I might ALSO be mad if I had done what Fay possibly did to her eyes, at the very least. In fact, without regard to our personal safety, we totally nominated La Dunaway in our book, The Fug Awards, in the "Dr. Noooooo!" category for worst alleged plastic surgery. BUT...
2) If you are going to talk back, you might not want to run around in things like this:
[Photo: WENN.com]
Not only have your legs apparently turned purple recently, but if Faye gets wind of you running about town looking like you are three feet tall and completely comfortable flirting with paper shredders, she is going to run you through hers and then use your pulpy, bloody flesh-paste to spackle some holes in her wall.
Which brings me to:
3) I am not kidding: Faye Dunaway could carve out your insides with her pinky Press-On Nail and make jambalaya for twelve. And she's not wrong, entirely, EITHER -- if it's true what she said, then she was certainly RUDE and not a little cranky, but it is kind of a leap from playing Heather Locklear's kid in The Perfect Man to an indie film about Bonnie and Clyde. While I applaud you for doing it, DUDE, you have got to take the high road in these things and DO NOT PROD THE FAYE. Side effects of Prodding The Faye include dizziness, nausea, and mild liver damage. If you have trouble urinating or experience any facial swelling, consult your doctor about Prodding the Faye. Pregnant women and children should avoid Prodding The Faye without medical authorization. In clinical trials, Prodding The Faye caused heart explosions and tooth loss in 45 percent of short blondes who kind of look like Kristin Cavallari all of a sudden.
Got all that? Great. Now go run through a blooming field of flowers and hop in a bathtub conveniently placed by a cliff's edge right next to one in which Faye is cleaning and sunning herself. Because this cautionary tale needs a bizarre ending.
