Listen, Nicole:
[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]
It's a nice attempt, really. But no matter how hard and how egregiously you try to misappropriate aspects of their native country's garb, no one is going to STOP confusing you with Kim Kardashian and START confusing you with more interesting people, like Aishwarya Rai or darling-of-the-hour Freida Pinto. No one is going to come up to you and tell you they loved you in Slumdog Millionaire, nor ask if you're dating Dev Patel (which you WOULDN'T BE, because he's a CHILD, practically, and it would be icky... if you were Freida, of course), nor try to get you to propose marriage to Leonardo DiCaprio, nor throw themselves at your feet and offer you a part in a major studio motion picture so that they can get in on your non-euphemistic ground floor, and you will not get to rub your hands together with glee and wait until the ink is dry before you reveal your true identity. At best, MAYBE they would take you for a local stripper with a Bollywood fetish, take pity, pull you aside to tell you that your bra is showing, and then hire you to teach Kathie Lee and Hoda how to belly-dance on the Today show during a 30-second segment in which they squawk and flail and Kathie Lee yells that Hoda needs the moves because she's a lonely woman. In which case, pussycat, you might be better off sticking with the Dolls.
[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]
It's a nice attempt, really. But no matter how hard and how egregiously you try to misappropriate aspects of their native country's garb, no one is going to STOP confusing you with Kim Kardashian and START confusing you with more interesting people, like Aishwarya Rai or darling-of-the-hour Freida Pinto. No one is going to come up to you and tell you they loved you in Slumdog Millionaire, nor ask if you're dating Dev Patel (which you WOULDN'T BE, because he's a CHILD, practically, and it would be icky... if you were Freida, of course), nor try to get you to propose marriage to Leonardo DiCaprio, nor throw themselves at your feet and offer you a part in a major studio motion picture so that they can get in on your non-euphemistic ground floor, and you will not get to rub your hands together with glee and wait until the ink is dry before you reveal your true identity. At best, MAYBE they would take you for a local stripper with a Bollywood fetish, take pity, pull you aside to tell you that your bra is showing, and then hire you to teach Kathie Lee and Hoda how to belly-dance on the Today show during a 30-second segment in which they squawk and flail and Kathie Lee yells that Hoda needs the moves because she's a lonely woman. In which case, pussycat, you might be better off sticking with the Dolls.
