I know I used to hate her, but it's gotten to the point that I just want to take poor Jessica Simpson under my wing and take care of her. And then shake her and demand to know why no one loves her enough to HIRE HER A COMPETENT STYLIST:
[Photo: Splash News]
You'd think after all the ridiculous uproar over her admittedly INCREDIBLY HEINOUS MOM-JEANS, Team Simpson would have had an emergency pow-wow and realized they needed to get poor Jess -- formerly the jewel in their money-making crown -- some help. Girlfriend CAN NOT DEAL with putting clothes on her bod, and if this is in fact the work of a paid professional, said professional needs to be fired like a flame-broiled Whopper. Giant platform heels + white corset + flannel + Spearsian-style, over-taxed cut-offs = FAIL. Let's all visualize for a moment: put J Simp in jeans (flattering, regular jeans) and she's already looking sixty-five percent better. Daisy Dukes are not ALWAYS the answer, no matter what movie roles you've played. Won't someone STEP IN and give this girl a hand?
You'd think after all the ridiculous uproar over her admittedly INCREDIBLY HEINOUS MOM-JEANS, Team Simpson would have had an emergency pow-wow and realized they needed to get poor Jess -- formerly the jewel in their money-making crown -- some help. Girlfriend CAN NOT DEAL with putting clothes on her bod, and if this is in fact the work of a paid professional, said professional needs to be fired like a flame-broiled Whopper. Giant platform heels + white corset + flannel + Spearsian-style, over-taxed cut-offs = FAIL. Let's all visualize for a moment: put J Simp in jeans (flattering, regular jeans) and she's already looking sixty-five percent better. Daisy Dukes are not ALWAYS the answer, no matter what movie roles you've played. Won't someone STEP IN and give this girl a hand?
