Folks are swooning over more of Drew Barrymore's Grey Gardens press tour looks, but I find myself riding the fence, no matter how hard I try to get off because it's giving me unpleasant (not to mention unsightly) splinters. So let's just put her on trial, shall we?
Exhibit A:
The prosecution opens by asking if Drew borrowed this from a much taller woman, or if it's just that she only shaved her legs up to mid-calf; it then follows with an argument that saddle-shoe/orthopedic sandal hybrids are too aggressive when you're showing so little leg. The lead attorney passes around flyers to raise funds for the American Association of Stumpification, which is trying to build awareness of this tragic national affliction.
The defense leaps up and points out that, okay, while one COULD construe the color as being very Mother of the Bride, it's also very striking and pretty against Drew's skin. As the prosecution begins flipping through a copy of Bobbi Brown's makeup manual to see if there's a chapter on whether it's advisable to match one's eye makeup to one's outfit, one of the assistants begins sneezing and apologizes to the judge, pointing out that he is allergic to hay and therefore Drew's hair is setting off an attack. The defense throws some Kleenex and a bottle of Afrin at the prosecution's table, noting that the peacock hair clip is actually rather cool and the updo is artfully dishevelled rather than ill-attended bedhead. When the argument reaches a fever pitch, the judge bangs the gavel and warns the author of this post that any further ham-handed use of Drew Barrymore's resume in this post will result in punishment.
Now onto Exhibit B:
Exhibit A:
The prosecution opens by asking if Drew borrowed this from a much taller woman, or if it's just that she only shaved her legs up to mid-calf; it then follows with an argument that saddle-shoe/orthopedic sandal hybrids are too aggressive when you're showing so little leg. The lead attorney passes around flyers to raise funds for the American Association of Stumpification, which is trying to build awareness of this tragic national affliction.
The defense leaps up and points out that, okay, while one COULD construe the color as being very Mother of the Bride, it's also very striking and pretty against Drew's skin. As the prosecution begins flipping through a copy of Bobbi Brown's makeup manual to see if there's a chapter on whether it's advisable to match one's eye makeup to one's outfit, one of the assistants begins sneezing and apologizes to the judge, pointing out that he is allergic to hay and therefore Drew's hair is setting off an attack. The defense throws some Kleenex and a bottle of Afrin at the prosecution's table, noting that the peacock hair clip is actually rather cool and the updo is artfully dishevelled rather than ill-attended bedhead. When the argument reaches a fever pitch, the judge bangs the gavel and warns the author of this post that any further ham-handed use of Drew Barrymore's resume in this post will result in punishment.
Now onto Exhibit B:
The defense leaps up and praises Drew for the sexy backless dress and what is either a cool attachment, or a bold necklace she used to spice it up so that it went beyond just looking like one of Princess Leia's nightgowns. The prosecution feigns surprise at seeing that accessory, claiming it was so blinded by all the OTHER jewelry -- the giant ring, plastic bracelet, earrings -- that it barely even noticed Drew's enormous breastplate; the lead prosecutor argues that too much crap can totally overshadow a look. The defense snorts loudly at this feeble attack and restates its position that the gown and the necklace together work stunningly well, so screw the other stuff she's wearing with it. The prosecution wonders aloud if Drew watched Beyond the Valley of the Dolls before doing her hair, rails against her head always being such an afterthought, and suggests wryly that perhaps she should have phoned home for some anti-frizz. The judge, incensed at this obvious E.T. reference, sends the author of this post to lock-up to think about her crimes against writing while the jury deliberates.
