The addition of Kara DioGuardi to American Idol has, if nothing else, reminded me that I kind of love Paula Abdul. I don't know why. I think it's because, at this point, the judging on Idol has fallen into a comfortable rhythm for us all: Randy shrugs and says something that falls somewhere on the spectrum between "totally useless" and "what Simon will say better later;" Paula acts either dependably nonsensical or is surprisingly briefly insightful; and then Simon talks and everyone pays attention. So when Kara and her impressively shiny hair starts yelling in the middle of that and waving her arms around and talking back to Simon and getting defensive about things, it startles me out of my AI-induced coma, and I don't like that. I like to watch AI in a semi-conscious state, paying only attention to the singing and the judges and reading Lucky magazine or playing Wordtwist or whatever during all the rest of the hoo-ha. Kara throws me off my game and also she talks so loud. Shhhh, Kara. Mommy's trying to sleep. Whereas Paula, if nothing else, is a relaxing part of the whole routine. AND she can be counted on to wear something wacky:
[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]
That. Is. SHINY. That skirt is like the fanciest Saran Wrap in the universe. I suspect that's what they use to wrap the Rjsfit@#334tyah Day presents on Planet Q9ddd9pw. Which is where Paula comes from, don't you know? It's nice up there, I hear. Lots of napping and coloring books and choreographed dancing. I feel like it's like this every day of the year up there:
Seriously. Look at her up there. Can you think of another person whose life potentially contains more young adults being forced to take part in spectacularly choreographed dances, although that's not the first skill on their resume? And who somehow manages to find it essentially endless delicious, DESPITE knowing that she can dance better than any of those poor suckers? Just her and Usher, circa 1999. Good company there, P. Abd. And where else are you going to find that in the real world? No where. Seriously. Please don't leave us alone with Kara and Randy next season. Please. Simon and I are begging you.
[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]
That. Is. SHINY. That skirt is like the fanciest Saran Wrap in the universe. I suspect that's what they use to wrap the Rjsfit@#334tyah Day presents on Planet Q9ddd9pw. Which is where Paula comes from, don't you know? It's nice up there, I hear. Lots of napping and coloring books and choreographed dancing. I feel like it's like this every day of the year up there:
Seriously. Look at her up there. Can you think of another person whose life potentially contains more young adults being forced to take part in spectacularly choreographed dances, although that's not the first skill on their resume? And who somehow manages to find it essentially endless delicious, DESPITE knowing that she can dance better than any of those poor suckers? Just her and Usher, circa 1999. Good company there, P. Abd. And where else are you going to find that in the real world? No where. Seriously. Please don't leave us alone with Kara and Randy next season. Please. Simon and I are begging you.
