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May 21, 2009

Fug Oleander

Hey, Alison Lohman!

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Hey! Yeah, sorry to bother you -- I know you're busy with all those photogs, but do you mind coming over here? I need to get a closer look at your hair.
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ACK! That's what I was scared of. DUDE. DOES NO ONE ON YOUR TEAM LOVE YOU? Shit has gone DOWN with your headsuit, lady. You look like you styled it with an immersion blender. (Right now, I look like I styled mine with a spork, true, but I'm AT HOME.) Hey! Don't give me that dirty look. I'm just trying to help you. It's like telling a girl when she's got spinach in her teeth. Don't you want to know when something has clearly gone awry? What's that? You don't want to know after it's already too late and people have taken pictures of you and you can't fix it on the fly?

Oh. You have a point. Although you COULD go to the bathroom and pin some more of that crazy stuff on the side back more, so it's....no? You just want me to smile and nod? That would be more helpful to you? Okay. Sorry. You look great! Have fun in France!

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A book, huh? Is it just stuff you already put on the Web site?

Nope, we wrote the whole thing fresh, just for you.

Awesome. In that case, I want to read it!

Thank you! Click here to find out all the details!

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