This photograph was taken last weekend, at Japan's MTV awards, but I put it away and forgot about it -- and now I see why. Clearly, I WANTED to forget.

Yes, undeniably, there is something artsy about the dramatic stripes and the peacock detail, but none of that eradicates the fact that a giant bird is staring me down from the vicinity of her crotch. A giant, legless bird-pod whose feathers are exploding out of Katy's groin. It's like a horribly overwrought metaphor for the plumage she CAN'T show because this outfit has forced her to cover her nethers.
Inside, though, she was back to her old tricks:
Yes, undeniably, there is something artsy about the dramatic stripes and the peacock detail, but none of that eradicates the fact that a giant bird is staring me down from the vicinity of her crotch. A giant, legless bird-pod whose feathers are exploding out of Katy's groin. It's like a horribly overwrought metaphor for the plumage she CAN'T show because this outfit has forced her to cover her nethers.
Inside, though, she was back to her old tricks:
[Photo: Splash News]
It GRIEVES me that I couldn't find a better photo anywhere in our subscriptions, because that leotard? Is covered in pictures of SUSHI. What, no wasabi barrettes? No pickled ginger necklace? No seaweed legwarmers? Is she going to show up in Kansas next dressed as a tornado? In Paris dressed as a giant baguette with a wheel-of-brie hat? Hey, I hear Germans love sausages -- want to go play Berlin dressed as a giant bratwurst with sauerkraut?
Sigh. I know I shouldn't EXPECT anything different from Katy Perry, but I do feel bad thinking that poor old Subtlety is standing off in a corner beating its brains into a pulp. It's not NICE to leave personified nouns out of work AND mortally wounded in this economy, Katy.




