SCOTT MICHAEL FOSTER: Hi, Spencer. I see you're wearing another pair of semi-high-waisted, fairly tight and tiny shorts.
SPENCER GRAMMER: Yes. Yes I am.
SMF: And a tank top.
SPENCER: Yup.
SMF: And a blazer, which... I don't hate on you, actually, but I just can't figure out why you look like you're headed off for a day of sailing on the S.S. Some Kind Of Wonderful.
SPENCER: Your point?
SMF: Wouldn't a skirt have been CUTER? And less... confining-looking? As usual? Do you just have a skirt allergy?
SPENCER: Well. Thank you, Mr. Fashion Plate, but I don't think I am the problem here at all.
SMF: Oh really?
SPENCER: I know your hair is always sort of... like that. And it works for your character. But is it just me, or are you going WAY more old-school David Cassidy than usual?
SMF: Well, Ms. Smarty Shorts, why don't we ask him? He's here.
DAVID CASSIDY: Hi, Scott. It's true, son. You ARE headed down Young David Cassidy Boulevard.
SMF: Does that have to be a bad thing?
SPENCER: It's just kind of distract--
DAVID: HELL NO, son! Do you have any idea how many women threw themselves at me back then? I could've gotten more ass than a sorority house toilet seat. So you GO. You grow. You cultivate the hell out of that thing and live the dream.
SMF: I am in a MUCH better mood now. I'm so glad we checked with him.
SPENCER: And I'm kind of wishing I didn't always wear things that make me look boxy.
SMF: Maybe if YOU had David Cassidy Hair, it wouldn't matter so much. I think I love it, so what are YOU so afraid of?
SPENCER: GREAT advice. Thanks.
