MICHAEL PHELPS: Oh, man. Demi Moore is so hot. Her hair is so shiny. Her dress is so pretty. I want to touch her.
DEMI MOORE: I look amazing. All the time! ALL THE TIME!
MICHAEL: She likes younger men, right? She totally does. Maybe she's looking to TRADE YOUNGER. I'm younger, AND I've got FOURTEEN gold medals. I am RAD. I can TOTALLY make this happen. Wait until I point out how easily and swiftly I can save her or any of her family members from drowning! Girls never even think of that until I point it out!
DEMI: I just wish someone would have told Phelps it wouldn't kill him to shave. Maybe I'll have Ashton give him a call. We've always got room for an extra kid at Casa KutcherMooreWillis.
