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July 15, 2009

Fugdy Fugda

Okay, Lady Gaga. This is it. You've stunned us with bubble dresses, heinous leotards, panty-hose, and countless flashes of your buttock flesh. You wore a hair donut. You carried a tea cup. Fine.

But this is the last straw. YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR:

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[Photo: Splash News]

Tsk tsk, Gaga. You shoved your Little Miss Muffet into an Animal-head tuffet. I don't care if this is fresh off the catwalk -- you are encouraging the use of a muppet as some kind of madcap performance art, while his dead-eyed gaze peers out from under his signature monobrow as if to say, "It's too late for me. Go now. GO NOW AND SAVE YOURSELVES." Well, I will. You violate my eyes? Shame on me for looking. You play along with violating a muppet, though, and you are dead to me forever. Or, at LEAST until another slim-pickings fug day. I don't know. I have only so much inner strength. Suffice it to say that, much the way Animal was prone to doing with his face during his heyday, I hope someone picks you up and uses your crotch as a drumstick.

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Bai Ling

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A book, huh? Is it just stuff you already put on the Web site?

Nope, we wrote the whole thing fresh, just for you.

Awesome. In that case, I want to read it!

Thank you! Click here to find out all the details!

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