Dear Dubai:
We must talk. It's my understanding that Paris Hilton recently spent three weeks in the United Arab Emirates filming a version of her fallacious search-for-a-best-pal reality show that would be aimed at audiences in the Middle East. In light of that information, I have but two requests for you. One, may we send along a note to be read aloud at the beginning of every episode, in which the rest of America totally disclaims its association with her and swears to your entire geographic region that we are not ALL twit strumpets with an allergy to syllables and vocal inflection?
And two:
Are you SURE you don't want to keep her? We don't really need her any more -- I'm not sure we ever did -- and I think she's actually TRYING to make her boobs pop out of this dress on the red carpet, which means she's effectively attempting to do something on purpose that made even Tara Reid cry when it happened to her by accident. That's saying something. So really... I mean, if you want her, please, we'll give her up. Maybe we'll even throw in the sister.
Pretty please?
Love,
Heather
We must talk. It's my understanding that Paris Hilton recently spent three weeks in the United Arab Emirates filming a version of her fallacious search-for-a-best-pal reality show that would be aimed at audiences in the Middle East. In light of that information, I have but two requests for you. One, may we send along a note to be read aloud at the beginning of every episode, in which the rest of America totally disclaims its association with her and swears to your entire geographic region that we are not ALL twit strumpets with an allergy to syllables and vocal inflection?
And two:
Are you SURE you don't want to keep her? We don't really need her any more -- I'm not sure we ever did -- and I think she's actually TRYING to make her boobs pop out of this dress on the red carpet, which means she's effectively attempting to do something on purpose that made even Tara Reid cry when it happened to her by accident. That's saying something. So really... I mean, if you want her, please, we'll give her up. Maybe we'll even throw in the sister.
Pretty please?
Love,
Heather
