[Photos: Splash News]
BLAKE: Penn. I'm over here. Why are you walking so far away from me?
PENN: I'm... sick?
BLAKE: You were fine an hour ago.
PENN: I forgot to brush my teeth.
BLAKE: Didn't stop you from kissing me before I got into costume.
PENN: I ... am out of excuses.
BLAKE: Correct. Because guess what: I already know why. We've discussed this before.
PENN: You were totally right. Someone in wardrobe DOES hate you.
BLAKE: WHAT IS THIS THING?
PENN: It's bad, honey.
BLAKE: For real. Take a look-see at the other side.
BLAKE: LOOK HOW SHORT THAT IS. Seriously, to wear this I have to wax myself a week before my hair follicles even start DREAMING about growing anything. And it makes my ass look like it's growing something. My ass is SO MUCH hotter than this.
PENN: It really is.
BLAKE: What is wrong with these people? Do they not realize their show relies upon me looking as ravishing as possible, and not like a J.C. Penney juniors-wear model from 1991?
PENN: Shh. Keep your voice down. I'm really sorry this is happening to you.
BLAKE: Well, then you should stand close to me and support me in my time of need, Penn. Be a boyfriend.
PENN: I can do that in private, Blake, but... I just don't want whoever hates you to start hating ME, too. Because then they'll put me in, like, mohair bloomers and a tank top made of bumper stickers that makes my chest look concave, and the Internet will go CRAZY. And I just can't handle that kind of stress in my life right now. It could seriously affect the growth of my sideburns.
BLAKE: Hmm. I would think me shaving 'DOUCHE' into them in the middle of the night would ALSO affect that.
PENN: Okay, FINE, let's make out in front of the wardrobe trailer.
BLAKE: That's better.
