Dude. Sister. Here's a suggestion. Maybe you should just stay home and lay low for a little while:
You're going to get mobbed by the paparazzi right now, and -- may I be frank? I don't really care what your answer to that is, by the way -- you look like hell lately (especially in comparison to how you looked on the cover of Glamour, just a few posts down). Nothing is fitting properly, you seem to be too bummed out to put on any makeup, and your hair has clearly been plunged into the depths of a seriously deep depression. I get it. You're HEARTBROKEN. So STAY HOME and have a Greek marathon while eating a whole box of frozen jalapeno poppers, like a normal person. THIS IS ONE INSTANCE IN WHICH GOING OUT AND GETTING LOADS OF ATTENTION WILL NOT HELP YOU.
You're going to get mobbed by the paparazzi right now, and -- may I be frank? I don't really care what your answer to that is, by the way -- you look like hell lately (especially in comparison to how you looked on the cover of Glamour, just a few posts down). Nothing is fitting properly, you seem to be too bummed out to put on any makeup, and your hair has clearly been plunged into the depths of a seriously deep depression. I get it. You're HEARTBROKEN. So STAY HOME and have a Greek marathon while eating a whole box of frozen jalapeno poppers, like a normal person. THIS IS ONE INSTANCE IN WHICH GOING OUT AND GETTING LOADS OF ATTENTION WILL NOT HELP YOU.
Also, is that Spencer Pratt wielding a camera over your left shoulder? Because Spencer becoming a paparazzo would be make for kind of an amazing arc on the next season of The Hills. MTV, you can make the check out to "the Fug Girls." You're welcome.
(PS: It so happens that Heather and I JUST wrote a piece about Post-Breakup Fashion Dos and Don'ts -- using Miss Simpson here as an example of someone who needs the advice. And that was before I even saw this picture. Now I feel like she needs the help more than ever. Anyhoodle, you can read it at the Lemondrop blog, if you like.)
(PPS: As long as I'm pimping other things, you can ALSO follow us on Twitter.)
(PPPS: I don't really have anything else to tell you. This is turning into a written version of the voicemails I leave for people, where I just yammer and yammer.)
(PPPPS: We got an email the other day that informed us that only old people leave voicemails. I don't believe that, because I feel like if you call and hang up on me, then you were just calling to chat anyway and I don't have to call you back, whereas if you really need to talk to me, you'll tell me so.)
(PPPPPS: La la la la. I should just publish this post now, right? Sorry about all that.)
(PS: It so happens that Heather and I JUST wrote a piece about Post-Breakup Fashion Dos and Don'ts -- using Miss Simpson here as an example of someone who needs the advice. And that was before I even saw this picture. Now I feel like she needs the help more than ever. Anyhoodle, you can read it at the Lemondrop blog, if you like.)
(PPS: As long as I'm pimping other things, you can ALSO follow us on Twitter.)
(PPPS: I don't really have anything else to tell you. This is turning into a written version of the voicemails I leave for people, where I just yammer and yammer.)
(PPPPS: We got an email the other day that informed us that only old people leave voicemails. I don't believe that, because I feel like if you call and hang up on me, then you were just calling to chat anyway and I don't have to call you back, whereas if you really need to talk to me, you'll tell me so.)
(PPPPPS: La la la la. I should just publish this post now, right? Sorry about all that.)
