So, when we got some emails from readers last night who were all, "MILEY CYRUS IS A POLE DANCER!!!" I really just thought they meant she was DRESSED like a pole dancer. You know, that it was a metaphor. But apparently, no. Girlfriend ACTUALLY DANCED WITH A POLE. At the Teen Choice Awards. Cyrus family, you continue to make the most interesting choices. (The teen girl in the background of that photo is making an incredibly apt facial expression. Seriously. Our expressions were like mirrors of one another at that moment.)
The fact that Miley here actually DID dance with a pole kind of takes the wind out of the sails of any crack I might make about her being dressed as a stripper, though. It'd be like saying that Katherine Heigl was dressed like someone who was likely to say something ill-advised from a PR standpoint later in the evening, or that Diane Kruger was accessorized with a hot dude. As we used to say when I was a teen myself, "no duh." So maybe Ms Cyrus is just playing defense, of a sort -- anticipating what I am about to say about her outfit and then DOING IT so as to step on my joke. If that's the case, I admit, I do look forward to seeing how one dresses as Cog More Easily Replaced in Disney Machine Than Anticipated, or Billionaire Girl Unemployed Thanks to the Rise of Selena Gomez/Demi Lovato/A Player To Named Later (Presumably Named Something Like Selemi Govato Just So We're Even More Confused) And Her Own Confounding Behavior As Re: Her Fan Base, And, More Importantly, Their Parents, The People Who Buy The Backpacks With Her Face on Them.
The fact that Miley here actually DID dance with a pole kind of takes the wind out of the sails of any crack I might make about her being dressed as a stripper, though. It'd be like saying that Katherine Heigl was dressed like someone who was likely to say something ill-advised from a PR standpoint later in the evening, or that Diane Kruger was accessorized with a hot dude. As we used to say when I was a teen myself, "no duh." So maybe Ms Cyrus is just playing defense, of a sort -- anticipating what I am about to say about her outfit and then DOING IT so as to step on my joke. If that's the case, I admit, I do look forward to seeing how one dresses as Cog More Easily Replaced in Disney Machine Than Anticipated, or Billionaire Girl Unemployed Thanks to the Rise of Selena Gomez/Demi Lovato/A Player To Named Later (Presumably Named Something Like Selemi Govato Just So We're Even More Confused) And Her Own Confounding Behavior As Re: Her Fan Base, And, More Importantly, Their Parents, The People Who Buy The Backpacks With Her Face on Them.
