LAUREN CONRAD: So here we are at the Hollywood Style Awards, right?
STYLIST BRITT BARDO: Right.
LC: Do we think this was the right moment to make me look like a saggy pregnant lounge chair?
SBB: Why not? It's the right moment for me to model my hair after that muse in Xanadu who looked like she was wearing a phallus.
LC: Yours is more of a nubbin.
SBB: IRREGARDLESS.
LC: That's not a word.
SBB: Yeah? Well YOU'RE not pregnant and saggy!
LC: Exactly my point.
SBB: What are we talking about again?
LC: Look, I just don't love my outfit, okay? Let's reconsider next time.
SBB: Am I even your stylist?
LC: I hope so, because if not, then I did this to myself. And I am REALLY not sold on my lipstick. Or my hair.
SBB: Then you have problems.
LC: Thanks.
