Unfug It Up: Eve

She's hot regardless, but first of all, she looks like her feet hurt. Better shoes is a must. Secondly, this is the site that preaches going up a size...and she needs to go up a size.

Cut off the sleeves and push back the bangs (or just don't wear them. I don't think it's real hair), and you've got a winner.

Destroy the hair.
Go up a size.
Shorten the skirt to above the knee.
Remove the sleeves completely, perhaps leaving a cap sleeve.
Steal the shoes and run as fast as you can.

The hair is awful, the sleeves are nasty, when their powers combine they form a fashion emergency. She is so cute, she doesn't need all that creepy detail. Turn the dress into a lovely burgundy, strapless sheath, toss the terrible toupee, and voila, fashion trauma remedied.

I'm with you, honestly. Fix the hair and hack off the sleeves, or at the very least get rid of the puffy shoulder bit. I am in love with this color, though, so I tend to give it extra latitude.

(<3 for the Bill and Ted reference)

Get rid of the piping that outlines the corsetry, keep the sleeves, provided you drop the puffs at the top, making it a sheer sleeve. And of course, drop the Trump toupee of doom.

I love the color. And this is a more understated (if that can be said) version of the latest undergarments-as-overgarments rage, so I'm not too offended by it. Except for the sleeves.

So: remove sleeves. Remove hair. Add a nice sparkly necklace.

The problem with all her outfits (including this one) are the boob tatoos. They are creepy. And she will come to regret them (probably when the boobs start to droop). I'm sure that they were painful to get. And their removal will likely be worse.

i agree with sarah. the idea behind the dress is pretty cute, but those sleeves ARE HEINOUS and too long and too tight and everything that is bad in this entire world. also, (sorry sarah!) not a fan of those shoes and the fact that that her feet are oozing out of them.

maybe a little suede bootie?

also, i'd be interested to see what her REAL hair looks like.

Love the color. Don't get why dresses must include outlines to show where the boobs go. Those sleeve poufs look like fallen souffles.

Is her face supposed to look like that? Maybe it's the hair. She looks like she's balancing something on her head that might spill.

Yeah, what they said up above -- shorten skirt, take off the sleeves and the outlining, size it up, and shoes that fit.

Or, hell, take her home, let her put on her sweats and slippers, and give her a brownie.

Remove the cheap looking piping, and the pouffy part on the sleeves. Nice ring, so add a necklace and drop earrings (but not chandaliers)to match. Scratch the harsh nail polish (good one, huh?); perhaps try a pink like her very nice lip color. I could see this with wild pumps, in turquoise, maybe? As for hair, do a Solagne and buzz cut. And, would it kill her to smile a bit more? That expression is not sultry, it's says I'm bored and uncomfortable.

Lose the hair, ditch the corset-like piping, make it sleeveless and for heaven's sake, go up a size!

It's a typical D&G dress when you hack off the sleeves which isn't bad, it's just boring since people have worn it out like they did the bandage dress (x's 2 different decades). If she must stick with the dress rather than starting over with creativity, I would say:
-hack the sleeves but keep a small puff shoulder
-keep the length and make the fabric a rich tweed in the same color
-give Donald his comb-over back and keep the side-pony.

I would chop off the sleeves, give her a feather duster, and see if I could get her cast as Yvette in a remake of "Clue: the Movie."

If she hacked off the sleeves I'd say she was wearing the cousin of my most loved dress, circa 2000 Hot Topic. I'm not crazy about the color but the poor girl looks just unhappy to be there overall.

I actually like the dress just fine, if only one could get rid of the superfluous shoulder poufs. And, yes, nix the toupee hair!

Regarding the Lisa Kudrow text a few posts down: you guys know the Internet DID exist in 1992, right? Surely what you meant to say is that the web didn't exist. (In 1992, you would have posted celeb-outfit bon mots to a Usenet newsgroup or an IRC channel.)

Please keep the comments about this post! Anything else, you can e-mail us about. Thanks!

Get rid of the toupee hair, make the dress strapless or sleeveless with spaghetti straps, size up so it fits better, add some sparkly jewelry and prettier shoes.

to be honest there is no part of this I find remotely acceptable. The color is not good on her, she has beautiful skin and this does nothing for it. It looks like somebody painted the boning and corsetry on, as opposed to it being real. The skirt is not flattering and the top make her breasts look two dimentional like perfectly flat circles.

burn it all!

The sleeves actually wouldn't be bad if it weren't for the POUF. I mean, this is fall, so a long sheer sleeve would be appropriate--just get rid of the pouffiness and shorten them so they're not drooping down over her hands. They might even work better in a 3/4 length.

Also, agree with ditching the piping around the boning.

I actually hate her bubblegum pink lip color with this dress... something a little more earthy would have looked better.

I also hate her tattoos, largely because they always distract a great deal from how pretty she is and whatever clothes she's wearing.

Most importantly, YES on going up a size.

"Let Me Blow Ya Mind" here Eve.

Slick back hair into a high pony if that's possible with that weave.

Love the deep plum colour, but hack off sleeves, and make little sheer gloves ending at the wrist with them. Lose the dark shoes, replace with a patterned print--paisley, pink, I'm not quite sure there, but I keep going back to faded green leopard Louboutin's I saw once upon a time.

Above all, let out that skirt to fit, and LOSE THE BELT- it's obviously the worst fit on her, and that expression ladies, is constipation.

I would also try to find a clutch that my Great Aunt Hazel wouldn't bring to "nice lunches." It's a total yawn.

Just for the record, I'm amazed this is her chosen outfit for "Whip It" when our girl Eve dressed consistently like a roller-derby-girl for the better part of her early career.

Just sayin'

I think she either needs to fully commit to the Disney side of it - lenghten the skirt and add those poofy over-skirt things that all the princesses have on their dresses (think Cinderella), or she needs to shorten the skirt to a flattering knee length (it's just a bit too long)and lose the sleeves. I'm not wild about the colour, but it'll do. The piping accenting the boning needs to go, too.

1) Shorten it to slightly above the knee
2) Decrease the puffy sleeves by half
3) Chop of the hair and add a long wavy wig piece
4) Smile not pouting

only the corset bodice and puff sleeves should stay the same. oh and the shoes are bad.

her hair would even look light years better if she had the same style as the guy next to her...

replace the skirt (starting at the belt) with layers of varied-purples. maybe the hem will be lettuce edged or something, but at least 3 colors of matching dark purple (one of which the same color as the rest of the dress).

Lose the sleeves, and leave just the black straps.
Replace the belt with a black one to add variety/tie in to the straps.
Take the dress out a little, because it looks like she can't breathe.
Take up the hem so that it's just above the knee (or right at it--either is fine).
And if you're getting rid of the big sleeves, some more accessories (diamond necklace?) would be nice.

Oh, and that weave makes me ill. No.

Step 1: Throw out the fake hair.
Step 2: Buy a new dress.

Nothing could save that garment. Ugly in every inch. Ugly sleeves, ugly length of skirt, ugly color, ugly fake bra things.

Shortening the skirt a bit would help, but the best thing you can do for this disaster is to hack off the sleeves, burn them and salt the ground.

Unfortunately I can't see much worth saving. I hate the color, I hate the corset, I hate the hair. I say chuck everything but the shoes and go buy a new more fab dress.

only the corset bodice and puff sleeves should stay the same. oh and the shoes are bad.

her hair would even look light years better if she had the same style as the guy next to her...

replace the skirt (starting at the belt) with layers of varied-purples. maybe the hem will be lettuce edged or something, but at least 3 colors of matching dark purple (one of which the same color as the rest of the dress).

To paraphrase Tim Gunn -- "make it fit"! The dress is a size too small on her. Nuke the pink lipstick; it's a weird choice with her skin tone to begin with and clashes badly with the dress. I agree that the piping on the bodice of the dress should go -- it makes the whole thing look like a blueprint schematic -- slide Boobs A into Cups B. I myself am really done with sleeveless dresses. I'd much rather see a fitted sleeve without the attempt at shoulder puff pastry. The color could be enriched just a bit; I'm a big fan of burgundy, but this looks like a hair color that's gone a bit too long between touchups. Ditch, ditch, ditch that hideous toupee. The Hairclub for Men would kick that thing to the curb.

I'd make it not look like a support garment by making it all the darker purple color,get rid of the sleeves, and make it knee length.

And ditch the toupee.

Well, I'm going to be in the minority here, I can see. I don't mind the hair particularly; it reminds me of the 1960s. (Guess that's a no-no right there?) As to the dress, first I would change the color to something bright, some clear primary or secondary color like red or green. That kind of greyed purple does not look good with dark skin. (If I were going to wear this dress, I'd have it in black: but I'm pale.) After that, I would take away the little Regency-era poofs at the top of the sleeves, but I would let the long sleeves themselves be. Likewise, I would not shorten the skirt. A person does NOT have to show all the skin she's got. Leave something to the imagination! In particular, don't go above the knees: the kneecap is one of the ugliest parts of the human body. They're not even sexy: they're just ugly.

- Dump Cousin It's little sister off your head.

-Cut the sleeves but leave the puff.

-Vanish those fake cups and other silly details.

-GO UP A SIZE!!!!!!!!! (again, an american celebrity with too small clothes... is there a conspiracy somewhere?)

Oh, are the straps black? Then make it sleevless, just go with the straps. Make the belt matching black. As I study it more now, those sleeves aren't all sheer, like I thought and which I would have kept, but only the lower part. The solid fabric poufs are escaping, creeping halfway down her arms like a creature in a horror movie.

I think we all agree on the hair : it's terrible.
Even if the dress was shorter and didn't have the sleeves, I don't know if I'd like it.
It's all very meh. The color doesn't do much for her.

So yeah, get rid of the dress.

I really like her make-up though. Her face is gorgeous actually.

the hair HAS to go
I would throw the dress right into the trash, but if she must keep it, please let it be at least one, maybe two sizes larger so she can at least breathe.

Make it strapless and 6 inches shorter, and we're in business.

I won't dignify the hair with a comment.

I agree with everyone else re: hair and sleeve removal. I do not approve of undergarment-looking outergarments, either, so let's remove the boning and detail.

I'm also deeply troubled by her eyes. Maybe it's just my monitor, but they're so heavily lacquered that they look like solid black holes. Lighten up the makeup and be free!

First she needs to slap whoever told her this looked good. Then take off the fake hair. Throw away. Get rid of the pink lipgloss, go with a burgundy/wine lipstick.

Go up a size on the dress, she looks like she can't breathe. Remove the poofy sleeves and shoulder pads. Shorten the skirt. Take off the black toenail polish and maybe a bigger size in the shoes. Eve looks like she's got bruised toes and her feet hurt. I like the shoes.

I like the idea of putting her in sweats and getting a brownie. I think I'll do that myself.

OK, the thing that struck me about Eve in this photo was her uncanny resemblance to Mae West. The hair...the form fitting, costumey dress that accentuates her curves, the come-hither pout. I say ride this Mae West thing for all it's worth--right?? Who else in the pantheon of celebritydom is channeling Mae West? Maybe Lady Gaga now and again, but she certainly isn't committed to it. So...in Eve's new "Westian" look, I would add some "Come up and see me some time" saloon dancing girl feathers sprouting from the back of her head, some early 1900's ankle-length boots, and some heavy diamond-encrusted jewels. Bonus advice -- she should always have limpid, hooded eyes, and make startling exits after pithy retorts.

Um, get back in the shower and start over? She must have something prettier to wear. Gosh, even I have prettier things to wear.

I've gotta say that the dress really GOES with those tattoos on her bosom.

I mean, what goes better with slashing wildcat paws than aggressive corseting? Mee-yow!

I wonder, though, how so many famous ladies are going for corsets that fail to define their waists. What's a corset for, after all?

I LOVE her, but every time I see her I think about how she is going to regret those tats one of these days.

I'd 86 the SLEEVES, but leave the poufs. The poufs are fun.

Throw it in the garbage. It can't be helped.

(BTW, I seriously do not know how she can walk or breathe in it.)

You are so funny!!! That literally just made me laugh out loud.. thank you!! If you ever write a romance novel called "Boning & Corsetry" I will definitely buy it!

Considering what else I've seen on this blog, this outfit is TOTALLY not that bad. Ixnay the sleeves and the roadkill hair and she's ready to go.

1) Get a better wig, no quasi weave. I love long curly wigs.
2) Remove boning from top of dress.
3) Go up a size
4) Change sleeves to a drape sleeve
like this but different
5)Shorten dress a bit so boots can be worn?

Needs to be strapless, one size bigger, and 12 inches shorter.

http://www.squidoo.com/buyvenusgoddessofloveplussizecostume

The link didn't work. whoops

That's not aggressive corseting... it's a cheap imitation of a corset look (ok, perhaps not LITERALLY cheap, but... :D )

Christina, I agree. I misspoke. Aggressive *actual* corseting would have given her more of a waist. Imitation corseting explains it.

The "in" thing seems to be the corset look without the actual corset, which flies farther over my head than a satellite.

I love the dress, but would move from loving it to wanting to wear it if there were just the puffs rather than a full sleeve.

Great color. Love the corsetry look.

Hate the hair.

I love the dress, but would move from loving it to wanting to wear it if there were just the puffs rather than a full sleeve.

Great color. Love the corsetry look.

Hate the hair.

That hair-helmet needs to go. The dress could be fierce, in black and shorter. A size larger couldn't hurt...or at least would hurt less.

Either that or slap a full skirt and a straw bonnet on her and send her to the nearest Renaissance Faire.

You don't ask much, do you? I'm longing for the easy days of Rachel McAdams and her great open tundra of chestal exposure.

Hair: anything but what that is. I'm loving Solange Knowles' current look, in fact, but anything which looks more like filamentaceous, biological, gravity influenced real hair and less like it was molded in resin would be a great improvement. And now that it's been mentioned by someone else, what we see here is the face and posture of a women whose shoes hate her; I suspect something better fitting would create a more joyous look from the toes up and the scalp down.

Dress: go up a size, please, and lose the puffy sleeve tops, then we can talk. Oh, and the color needs to be shifted to be either brighter or more muted: it's currently stalled at raw liver, which is never cool. The neckline needs to either cover or expose her ink; as it is it looks rather as if her girls are trying to claw their way to air; given the rest of the dress, I think an inch lower will work best. The whole dress is, in fact, a series of near misses; it's too sheer and tight to be classy, too long and high-necked to be daring, and of a color and structure which looks as if it were prescribed rather than designed.

Painful shoes and an orthopedic dress. Interesting concept.

The belt/waistband is so tight it looks like it hurts...

Up a size. Lose the Jetsons shoulders and probably the sleeves too. Change the straps from black to the same purple as the rest of the dress. I might also like the boning detail to be slightly darker than the rest of the dress, rather than slightly lighter.
Too much undereye lightener looks terrible on anyone. Even dark circles are more flattering than looking like you're wearing sunglasses made of deathly pallor.
The hair is confusing to me. It's like a Front Bumpit.

Ditch sleeve poufs, sheer the sleeves, erase piping, up a size, lose the belt! earthy lips (cocoa bronze), take the alien life-form off her poor head and let her lovely waves assume a loose up-do with tendrils, bronze Choos, delicate sparkly necklace and earrings. No clutch. By this time she'll be smiling, so that's resolved as well.

RUG!!!!

I agree 100% with Sarah, above:

Destroy the hair.
Go up a size.
Shorten the skirt to above the knee.
Remove the sleeves completely, perhaps leaving a cap sleeve. (or a wide tank sleeve!)

I'd like to see this changed into a completely strapless, sleeveless dress here, with a sleek finish and none of the corsetry trim. It MUST go up a size--maybe two sizes! Her shoes also look pinchy! I love the plum color and love the length.

The hair is too horrifying for comment. The makeup is pretty bad too. This look should be about the full, colorful lips, with softer eye makeup.

The important thing is that her paw print tattoos are on display. All wardrobe decisions start and end there, right?

Agree with everyone's comments re: sleeves and fake hair. A simple strap, cap sleeve or sleevelessness would improvve this dress no end. I also think this would look even more chic if Eve went back to the short, pixie-ish haircut she once had. While the shoes are classic, sometimes dark burgundy just swallows up black but I am unsure what to suggest instead--maybe a high-heeled cage shoe or gladiator sandal, if she has the ankles for it? But with the dress being so constructed this could be overkill. Also, is the belt required? If the dress is that fitted, maybe it doesn't need the belt as at present it does look like the kind of outfit that only works if you're standing for entire evening.

Girlfriend, please, for the sake of your "feet of the future"...get a pair of shoes that fit. Then find a REAL hairstylist and a dress that flatters you more.

The hair and sleeves must go. Also, I loathe that waistline. It gives her a matronly pooch, which I doubt she has. Rather than cinched, I'd like to see a straight line. And take the hem up an inch or two. Otherwise, I don't mind the corset for a change. Somehow, the dark color and lack of lace makes it look to me less like underwear than what we've been seeing.

Nevertheless when a dead body is placed outside her home, Eve takes the warning . Short Url

Get rid of the appalling hair, cut the skirt to a little above the knee and get rid of the sheer fabric and change it for something heavier, with more substance.

I'm really torn on this one. Personally, I'm a HUGE fan of corsetry (I wore a corset dress to my Masquerade Ball Wedding), but I absolutely hate the Madonna/Janet Jackson circa 92' outline of the boobs. It's has never been flattering and never will be. This is also too tight, so definitely up the size no matter what. Also, better shoes. Don't care, but ANYTHING is better than her feet strangling, and lose the horrid rat on her head. Outside of that, I could see changing this one of two ways.
1) Lose the horrifying poofs on the sleeves (I think the fallen souffle description is spot on), and loose the piping and outlining on just the top. The lines on the skirt flatter her well. The length could stay or not, but too short and the sheer sleeves look awkward.
2) Lose the sleeves entirely and give the top a straight line. I like the idea of a tweed in the same color, but lose the boob lines. Keep the bone and turn this into an actual corset dress with tightening and modesty panel on the back. Again, length could go anyway, especially short on this one.

Adding anything sparkely to this would help too, but I think the hair and her face is what makes this look so "dark."

Does she look uncomfortable, or more like the photographer just said something about her grandma and she's going to b-scotch him with her purse in a second?

I am clearly in the minority, but I love this. The hair is big and theatrical. The dress is tight, but it's got like a 40's/50's retro thing going on with the dramatic sleeves and mid-calf tight skirt. It's like retro met and had a baby with Madonna's love of wearing her inner-wear as out-wear--retro and new. I think the shoes and the bag keep up the retro theme, and her tattoos fit in with the modern aspect of this.

Also, I love the color. And, if I were as hot as Eve, I would wear clothes that were too tight as well. We all know most things in fashion have never met the idea of being comfortable.

The hair must die--shaved head would beat this, hands-down. Eeep.

The lip color is too light, a plummy sort of brown would have been my instinct.

Lose the poofs OR lose the sleeves, or both. It's too much all together but I'm indifferent as to how that's amended.

Up a size!! Maybe two!

I think I'm okay with the corsetry, but I agree with whoever said darker, not lighter, than the dress. Black would work well given her accessories.

Up a size on the shoes if they're as uncomfortable as they look, but I know shoes can be deceptive like that--I myself had people asking me if my feet hurt today, while the shoes I was wearing are in fact the most comfortable heels I've worn in a while.

I love the colour. I also actually like the sleeves, but I feel the need to puncture the shoulders and let the air escape.

I'd say go up a size, but I've always been under the impression it is the purpose of these dresses to make the wearer look like an erratically- stuffed sausage, and I think she's pulling it off pretty well.

Shorten the skirt to knee-length. And get a more inspiring clutch.

Poor kid. Someone told her this looked elegant and she was too drunk and/or high to realise the truth. Happens to the best of us.

Obviously, the sleeves and hair need to be removed and carefully destroyed by a team of trained experts wearing biohazard suits. Then, the paler stripes that do look like boning channels (why would you bone a skirt?!)need to go. I have no objection to underwear as outerwear as long as it's done right, but this is not done right. It looks like its inside out. If you're going to wear a corset, invest in a real one, not a cheap-ass boned top from your local adult store! Aargh! I make high-end custom fitted corsetry and sloppy not-quite-corsets really grind my gears .

Other than that, I think the dress works. And on a related subject, I TOTALLY want to read "Boning and Corsetry"! Project Runway + 17th century = suddenly my morning is no longer crappy.

I like Eve. I want to help her here. I don't mind the color and I get the repetition of the seam lines in the skirt (sorry, I'm no seamstress, I don't know what it's called but I'm guessing boning). HOWEVER, I don't like corsets to begin with, which pretty much means I don't like the skirt. In a way the hair and sleeves give the ensemble another sample of repetitious horror.
I like the idea of the high-waisted pencil skirt same color minus corset seam lines (boning? I feel like Beavis when I type that). If the event is formal, a suit made of formal fabric would be much more sophisticated than this Dynasty number (not to offend anyone of this blog). If not so formal, why not a plain short-sleeved shirt paired with the skirt?

Cut the skirt to the knee, maybe a little above. Take off the sleeves, and have the straps be the same purple as the rest of the dress.

And of course burn the hair.

Losing the sleeves and changing the hair would take it from fug to feh, which I think is the best we're going to manage without starting over entirely.

I actually love this dress and Eve looked a lot better wearing it in other pictures I saw. I did have that initial lose the sleeves moment but now I think it works as the shoulder pads are so extreme in themselves. So keep the dress, maybe just make sure it ends on the knee. Accesories and shoes look fine too.

BUT THAT HAIR... Now that really needs fixing!

you know i get this dress and i love it, i just don't think it's for her. the hair is bad but the dress is hot. she's just not owning it and the hair may be bringing her down…