Elisha Cuthbert

January 9, 2006

Twenty-Fug

She's been kidnapped, chased by a mountain lion, held in a basement by a psychotic Dillon brother, been arrested, been a nanny, survived flaming car wreckage, had a dead body in the trunk of a car she stole, been a hostage in a robbery gone wrong, and been elevated to a terrifyingly intimidating desk job at CTU for which she was roundly, thoroughly unqualified.

And now, Elisha Cuthbert of 24 is facing the biggest threat to her yet: taffeta.

See how it chokes her! See how it massacres her figure into a wrinkled, misshapen hunk! See how it aggressively washes her out! See how she pairs it with deadly white pumps -- a la the ones I snuck from my sister's closet 1988 and wore with my Laura Ashley dress, stuffing Kleenex in the toe so they would fit -- and a seafoam-green bag that matches the Jell-o salad my mom used to make at Christmas!

And we thought things couldn't get worse.

December 7, 2004

Twenty-Fug

There's nothing necessarily overt about the fug Elisha Cuthbert has brewing here... except for the entire ensemble. She exudes a sad aura of stumpy dumpyness by wearing that slouchy blue shirt (with... is that illusion netting? You're not an ice dancer, sweetie) that gathers right where her hips should be. She's a slim girl who found a shirt that makes her look fresh from the pear tree.

And is it just me, or does that hair color look like she's reimagined herself as Marg Helgenberger? That's aiming a little high.

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A book, huh? Is it just stuff you already put on the Web site?

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