Kate Beckinsale Archives

May 6, 2009

Met Ball Fug-or-Fab Carpet: Kate Beckinsale

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go big or go home

I will say this about Kate Beckinsale: Even if it's not actually true, it feels like she shows up to everything -- no matter what level of formality it is -- in a strapless satin dress that's usually accompanied by an elaborately Prom-esque updo, so I'm pleased she went more over-the-top for the Met Ball.

In some senses, I really like this, because I totally understand why a girl might want to wear a giant skirt and train to a huge event: Where else in your life can you do it? It's not like you can wear it to the supermarket, or to yoga, or to pick up your kid at school -- well, unless you want all the other parents to conspire to lock you in the trunk of a very small vehicle with shitty suspension and take you for a quick ride around town.

But I can't decide how I feel about this PARTICULAR elaborately beskirted dress. The colors are interesting, but the top part does feel a bit like a lazily bedazzled tank, which is slowly being devoured by a sea creature from the treacherous deep. And it's also unfortunately VERY challenging to wear a dress in this vein without being compared to the benchmark of giant-traindom, Penelope Cruz's 2007 Versace from the Oscars:

Continue reading Met Ball Fug-or-Fab Carpet: Kate Beckinsale.

September 16, 2008

Fug or Fab: Kate Beckinsale

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pink,
ruffles

Reader response to this dress has been mostly negative -- or, I should say, the readers who were galvanized enough to e-mail us about it all hated it.

When I first saw it, it felt pretty and different and a little romantic, and because Beckinsale sometimes comes off a little bit brittle to me, I liked that about it. In fact, what bothered me most was the heavy shoe and the lone black strap hanging out up there, which together ruin the whole floaty, dreamy effect.

Then again, I suspect this is the type of thing you need a friend with you to wear, so that when you get up after sitting for a long time, she can fluff your curlicues. And from even MORE steps away, there is a part of me that says, "Wow, that looks like it was made out of expensive coffee filters designed by Paris Hilton."

poll by twiigs.com

February 20, 2008

Fug Harbor

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leggings

I was talking to someone the other day about Pearl Harbor and how, when you saw it the first time, you thought things like, "Josh Hartnett is the only good thing about this movie," and now, you reflect back on it and think, "JOSH HARTNETT? Wow. That movie WAS bad." And it was. I mean, I love Ben Affleck but I think even HE would agree that he was god-awful in it, albeit god-awful in a period piece which found it historically accurate for his flyboy character to have HIGHLIGHTED HAIR. And then you have poor Kate Beckinsale, who was not truly terrible in it, but who was hamstrung by the fact that she was dressed like a quasi-porno version of a World War II nurse the whole time. But the fact is, I'm pretty sure she must have thought that movie would catapult her into the Hollywood A-list, and it really did not. So apparently she's dealing with her currently perhaps-less-sterling-than-anticipated-at-this-point career by going out and catching a raging case of LindsayLohanLeggingitis:

GIRL. I don't care HOW MANY sweaters you wear. You're still not wearing pants. Has that worked well for Lindsay, I ask you? Exactly.

June 20, 2006

Underfug

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I used to think Kate Beckinsale was SO beautiful. Like when she was in Much Ado About Nothing, all English-looking and fresh-faced and lovely? So pretty. But then things went sort of pear-shaped with her: there was that story about her peeing into her director's Thermos because she was angry with him, and there were rumors that she was very difficult to work with (which is to be expected, I suppose, if you turn to urine to solve your differences), and, of course, there's the whole Underworld II thing to contend with. So the bloom is off the rose, so to speak.

Much as the shirt is off the girl, I guess.

Leaving aside the fact that this shirt might actually work for evening -- which it could, with clever undergarmenting -- I am perplexed by all the ties and ribbons and bows that are happening here. I can't figure out which tie attaches to which piece of clothing. Is she wearing two shirts? Or is this a complex series of scarves? Or are these like very short, very posh cargo shorts?

Speaking of Posh, Ms Beckinsale looks more like her every day, with the long long hair and the drawn face and the big, big glasses. Don't get me wrong: despite her semi-regular appearances in this space, I rather love Posh. Having just devoured her first (!) autobiography, Learning to Fly, I've decided that I really want Posh and Becks to make it. But Kate Beckinsale is no Posh Spice, and considering the bludgeoning Posh gets from the press, I don't know why she would want to be.

Oh, wait. I think I just answered my own question: "the press."

June 5, 2006

MTV Movie Awards Fug: Kate Beckinsale

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jumpsuit

This week's random regurgitation of 1980s styles that didn't even look that good the first time:

Presumably, Ms. Beckinsale is even at the MTV Movie Awards in the first place because she is promoting this summer's Click, and not because she is being recognized for her work in Underworld: Evolution -- an assumption I can make based on the fact that it's difficult even in this town to throw a rock without hitting someone who says, "What? They made a sequel to that cinematic mushroom cloud?"

Unfortunately, Kate herself is not possessed of a remote control that will rewind time -- or even, say, a photo album of her, or anyone else's, youth -- or she certainly wouldn't have paid a nostalgic visit to Mammoth Beltville by way of the intersection of 21 Jumpsuit Street and Billowy Ankle-Pants Avenue. She is a good, solid backbrushing away from being the most popular girl in the senior class of 1987.

Kate Beckinsale

Met Ball Fug-or-Fab Carpet: Kate Beckinsale

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Fug or Fab: Kate Beckinsale

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Fug Harbor

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Underfug

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MTV Movie Awards Fug: Kate Beckinsale

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