For the sake of my forehead wrinkles, I need to stop venting about
Little J and The Haircut (although I might name my first imaginary band that; my second one, which clearly will shoot to great fame and fortune, will be called Andrea Zuckerman's Famous Pig). Seriously, it looks worse week-to-week -- at this point, if you told me she'd shampooed with undiluted rum and then bent over in front of a candle, causing the whole thing to go up in a fiery conflagration, I would believe you. They need to get her a wig, or chop it off into a pixie cut and start over, or put a bag over her head for a month. It's bad.
Thankfully, my distraction on
Gossip Girl this week came in the form of Ms. Serena Van Der Woodsen herself. As if the indignity of having to act interested the shaggy, blandly self-absorbed charisma void that is Aaron Rose, our girl S had to strut around her penthouse in this little number:
Tragically, the photos from my TV screen don't do justice to how terrible this looked. But even Chuck Bass -- he of the tiny man shorts and countless turtlenecks -- appears to be judging her for the awkward tightness, and the awkwardness of the tights. She seems SO UNCOMFORTABLE, too. I mean, that is not only short, but it's bunching up with every step. Poor Blake clomped around the set as if she was afraid her crotch might fly out at a moment's notice.
It's made even worse by the CW bug appearing right over her crotch, as if to draw attention to how hella-unflattering the skirt is. May I remind the
Gossip Girl costumers again that this is BLAKE LIVELY, who is dreamy of figure? Is it that impossible to dress someone who isn't a size 00? Are they in league with the
Ghost Whisperer people? And why, exactly, did Serena think her party-girl past needed to be such a secret from her foul new boyfriend if she was going to run around to TWO family Thanksgivings dressed like Ronald McDonald's favorite call girl?
I mean, come on. That's just not fair to her.
What IS fair, though -- to the universe -- is the existence of this:
