Debra Messing

November 9, 2009

Fug and Grace

I really miss that terrible show Debra Messing was on last year. You remember. Judy Davis was using it to pay the rent. Vampire Bill was on it when it was a mini-series, as Debra's boyfriend, who happened to be both homeless AND a murderer but still was supposed to be seen as a legitimate catch, like I know it's hard to be single in Los Angeles but come on. And he was truly terrible, so bad that I think he must thank God every day that he landed on True Blood, where his slightly wooden affect works well for his uptight-yet-largely-nude vampire character. I can't remember what it was called, but I miss it, and clearly Debra has sunk into a deep depression regarding its cancellation, because what else could possibly explain...any of this?

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I mean, a secret pregnancy would explain the cut of the dress. But nothing save for depression/head injury/a misguided attempt to switch to lo-flow shower heads could possibly explain the styling. Sugarplum, ain't no shame in throwing up your hands and just wearing a ponytail. You feel me?

April 24, 2009

The Starter Fug

I don't quite know what to make of this.

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Killer shoes, I think, but I can't help feeling like she's going to smack my outstretched palm with a ruler and send me to the corner to stare at the wall, moments before she's fired by the school's headmaster for wearing a child's nightgown to class.
March 2, 2009

The Fugger Wife

Dude, I knew that when The Starter Wife was canceled (sob), Debra Messing was going to have to look for another job. I just didn't think she was going to turn to BLACK-SMITHING:

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Girl, are things really that bleak? At least try community theater before giving up the ghost entirely.
This is, I suspect, one of those dresses that the Fashion People (you know who you are -- hello there!) lose their nuts over, and the rest of us are kind of like, "but why is she wearing a hexagon?"

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That being said, after having stared at this dress for like half an hour as I sit here and stir my coffee -- question: can liquid Coffee Mate go bad? Because I am worried I've done something terrible to myself if it has. Just so you know -- it turns out I might dig this crazy geometry. Check it from the front:

December 4, 2008

Fug or Fab: Debra Messing

This is the part where I confess that I totally TiVo The Starter Wife and often watch it on Sunday evenings while I paint my toenails (the recession has impacted my professional pedicure budget, which is unfortunate because my toes look like a preschooler attacked them with a red Sharpie). I'm not ashamed of this: it's kind of entertaining in a way that is sometimes legitimately entertaining and sometimes entertaining-due-to-being-TERRIBLE and her hair is pretty. Although the show was arguably funnier last year, when Deb Mess's character was dating a homeless man (who was also a MURDERER, like, is this supposed to be aspirational?) played by someone who went to the Wooden Block School of Thespianism, all of whose lines were clearly dubbed over later. Now she's dating someone only mildly less wooden, but this time at least he has a job (well, kind of: he's a washed up novelist, but at least he has an apartment, and isn't a killer. That we know of), even if his hair is really bad.  Anyhoodle, what I'm trying to say is that I am sort of pleased that Debra Messing is back even though I really thought I didn't like her. I guess I was wrong. Which is also how I kind of feel about this:

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It rather looks like the posh window treatments in a terribly, terribly fancy ballroom and yet, I kind of like it. Weird. I am just full of contradictions.

Some days I feel so indecisive.

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I just can't come to a final opinion on this dress, so maybe I'll make a good old-fashioned Pro/Con list.

PRO: It fits her.

CON: People are going to think that mark on her left boob is a majorly misplaced nipple.

PRO: It probably isn't a majorly misplaced nipple.

CON: Is it?

PRO: No. It can't be.

CON: Whatever you say.

PRO: Stop it! No one has nipples in their armpits.

CON: Sure, fine.

PRO: Snap out of it. Hey, she has nice shoulders.

CON: But look how skinny that thing makes her sternum look. I could play "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" on that sucker.

PRO: Oh, you are so crabby. She's always been thin and she looks way healthier now than she did on some seasons of Will and Grace.

CON: True, and her hair does look sort of great.

PRO: HEY. BACK OFF. You are stealing my positivity.

CON: Fine, fine.... okay, here's one: I am not wild about all that tulle.

PRO: At least the silhouette is interesting, though! And I mean, she's looked way worse before. Remember this old thing?

CON: Dude, I could never forget. And this one was even worse! The MAKEUP!

PRO: I think I just wooed you onto my side.

CON: I hate it when we agree.

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Hee. Don't get me wrong. DebMess looks amazing here. But I find it hard to believe that Town and Country didn't have a workable shot in which she didn't look like she just got poked with a cattle prod. She just looks so....startled. Aren't all T&C cover girls supposed to look like they just rolled out of their Daughters of the American Revolution meeting and are now en route to eat tiny sandwiches and complain about the help? Although, in fairness, I once had a job at a very traditional and fancy company that we'll call The Button Factory. The Button Factory had no internet access, paid me very little but expected me to dress as though my parents had given me a huge clothing allowance (they had given me, in fact, no allowance at all, as I was a grown woman), did not allow me to wear pants, and had nearly nothing of interest for me to do most days. The Button Factory did, however, have a subscription to Town and Country, and I spent many, many days pretending to work but actually reading it because OH MY GOD I WAS SO BORED. So: thanks for that. Don't poke me with that prod for this.
It's All Caftans, All the Time here at GFY, apparently:

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Though technically, I guess this is more of a robe, and call me crazy, but I kind of like it, though it seems like it's at least a size too big for her.  The entire purpose of your robe/caftan, after all, is to prevent your boob -- or other items -- from popping out, am I right?

June 21, 2007

The Fugger Wife

I have such a Love/Hate with Debra Messing. One day, she'll show up somewhere looking like she's wearing a dress specifically designed to effectively drown yourself.  The next day, she'll pop up somewhere looking fantastic. And then there's this:

Debs, Debs, Debs. After all I've done for you this summer, this is how you repay me? I've spent several weeks watching your shenanigans on The Starter Wife -- including a plot line in which you try to decide if you ought to hook up with a HOMELESS DUDE (who is admittedly hot, although possibly also a robot, judging from his line readings) -- and I comment at least once every episode that you have great hair.  But this is just nuts, my dear. You look like you got the bottom of your dress caught in a wood chipper and just barely escaped with your life (and legs) intact.

HEIDI: No, really. Do I ever look bad? Even when I show up on Project Runway wearing lederhosen and, like, a pumpkin as a hat, don't you just look at me and go, "yeah, she pulled that shit off."  I mean, look at me.

DEBRA: And I? Well, let's be honest. While I got fugged last week, I bounced back pretty well, didn't I? SUCK ON THAT, YOU BITCHES. I am WORKING THIS HOT DRESS.

HEIDI: I  am married to Seal, and we seem to be really happy together.

DEBRA: I'm married to...some guy! And we seem...no one has heard otherwise!

HEIDI: I have got some cute kids.

DEBRA: My child is also cute.

HEIDI: My television show is a huge success.

DEBRA: My new mini-series is....well, let's be honest, Heidi.  People may be watching it because nothing else is on TV right now, but once they do, they're finding it surprisingly entertaining.  No, really. I'm really kind of charming in it!  And did I mention that I look great tonight?

HEIDI: I have great hai --

DEBRA: Don't even go there.  You can wear a pumpkin on your head and no one bats an eye. My hair is all I've got sometimes, okay?

HEIDI: Well, it is pretty.

DEBRA: Thank you, Heidi.

HEIDI: Aw, so needy. You're welcome, liebling.  But shouldn't we be inside at the bar already?

DEBRA: At last, you've said something I don't feel that I need to rebut.

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