Renee Zellweger Archives

August 20, 2009

Fug or Fab: Renee Zellweger

Fug file:

great shoes,
orange

RENEE ZELLWEGER: Hello, I'm Renee Zellweger.

R.J CUTLER: And I'm R.J. Cutler, the producer/director of The September Issue.

RENEE: How've you been?

R.J: I'm great! I'd say more, but Jessica worked for me for many years and she finds it weirdly impossible for write dialogue for me. She would make a terrible biographer.

RENEE: I couldn't agree more! But enough about me. I want to talk about me, and my dress. I look cute, right? Youthful! Like I'm having a good time! The color is flattering! It's not ANOTHER boring strapless sheath! I FINALLY PULLED ONE OFF! Right? Right?!

R.J: Can we see it from the side?

Continue reading Fug or Fab: Renee Zellweger.

January 12, 2009

Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Renee Zellweger

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Wow. I know we've been entreating Renee Zellweger to ditch the same-old, same-old strapless gowns, but apparently we've got to be careful what we wish for with this one:

The hair, the shredded top (not strapless but still shoulderless -- one step at a time, I guess), the vague sense that she's not sure entirely what's happening or why... She looks like Crazy Aunt Ne-Ne, who's been let out of her attic for the first time since TV was black-and-white, crawled down a gin bottle, tasered her minders, and is now trying to hail a cab to the nearest military base to show our boys some real gratitude.

I mean.... SERIOUSLY, Renee:

Continue reading Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Renee Zellweger.

October 1, 2008

Fug or Fab the Cover: Renee Zellweger

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Self magazine

We've gotten a bunch of email about this cover, the overall tone of which was, "EW." One reader said that at first glance, she thought it was Helen Mirren on the cover and that while Helen Mirren is awesome, she's also got twenty years on Renee. Which is a very good point. On the other hand, my response was that I was impressed that Renee managed to pose on the cover of a magazine about, essentially, lady-fitness, showing naught but her ankles. Also, that I like those jeans. Also, that her face is starting to look like someone else's face, which I suspect is bad for an actress. And that, for some reason, in this picture she seems to have the waxen skin of a young Lord Voldemort -- also not a plus.

poll by twiigs.com

September 18, 2008

You Had Me at Fug

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So, we mentioned this during Fashion Week, but Renee Zellweger has seen better days:

She is kind of starting to look like one of those women you see in a Lifetime movie who used to be all beautiful and fresh but married a total asswad because he had money and good hair and she thought that was enough and she had to escape her hardscrabble life somehow but fifteen years later, she's totally brittle and depressive and she starts drinking at 10 a.m. and by 5 p.m. she's yelling at the staff and falling over her Louis Vuitton hat boxes and then passing out on top of her minks and then her youngest child finds her drooling on a fur ruff and cries and cries because Mommy won't wake up. I mean, this dress is full-on 65 Year Old Woman Attending A Party At the Met in a Dress She's Had Since 1981. But I could work with that except for the part where OMG RENEE. STAND LIKE A NORMAL PERSON. All pursed lips, contorted body, hands placed as close together as possible on the waist so as to make it look smaller. I feel like she does this wackdoo pursy contorty thing all the time and it looks so purposefully awkward and I can't figure out WHY she keeps doing it. Like, this is not a Broken-Down Doll challenge on ANTM, so what's the deal?

September 9, 2008

New York Fugshion Week: Day Four

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Whoever told Little J this haircut was a good idea should be shot.

We would have said something ourselves when we saw her yesterday at Chris Benz, but we had Eva Amurri's Hammer pants to contend with.

Also in the mix: our girl A Dubs skipped Proenza to see her hot sexy tennis player friend/secret lover Roger Federer win his fifth US Open. PS: She really didn't miss much. Except Nicole Richie. And Kayne West talking about his blog. It's going to be so much fun when he starts guest-fugging for us.

We went to Diesel again this year, and witnessed much canoodling and also Juliette Lewis.

And, finally, we saw Renee Zellweger at -- where else? -- Carolina Herrera and, sadly, were not impressed. STOP THE BOTOX MADNESS, RENEE.

April 2, 2008

Fuggerheads

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RENEE ZELLWEGER: George? What's wrong?

INTERN GEORGE: YIKES! They gotcha!

RENEE: What?

INTERN GEORGE: You're not actually listening to them, are you?

RENEE: Who?

INTERN GEORGE: The Fug Girls and all their whining about how you're always going sleeveless! I told them to leave you alone. They threw a sandwich right at my head.

RENEE: I have no idea what you're talking about. I just thought it would be kicky to stick some sleeves on this thing with tacks. I had the idea in the car on the way over!

INTERN GEORGE: It's rather....Blanche Devereaux, no?

RENEE: I'm sure I have no idea what you mean.

THE PHOTOGRAPHER: EVERYBODY SMILE!

Continue reading Fuggerheads.

March 19, 2008

Fug Or Fab: Fug the Cover?

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green,
In Style

I just don't know anything anymore.

Is this good? Is this bad? Has Renee always used that accent over the second E in her name (Wikipedia says "yes," IMDb says "sometimes," I say, "huh, I never noticed")? Also, why is In Style using the same accent over the E in "decor"? I mean, if Elle Decor doesn't need an accent, why does In Style? Is it just to seem FANCY?! And why do I care? The real question is: does Renee look better than usual? That color is nice on her. But that haircut, it's excruciating still. Right? RIGHT?

polls by twiigs.com...

February 25, 2008

Oscar Fug Carpet: Renee Zellweger

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BORING,
metallics

Oh, look, it's Renee Zzzzzzz......

Sorry, I nodded off there for a second. Not that there's anything empirically wrong with this; it's a pretty cut, a dazzling fabric, and a lovely cool metallic hue. But doesn't it feel like we've seen this a thousand times before on her? Okay, maybe not with that exact haircut -- which Renee has GOT to grow out before someone comes up to her and asks what it was like to be one of the Von Trapp sons -- but the rest is so cookie-cutter Zellweger. It has such a strong aura of been-there-done-that even Carolina Herrera herself probably had to take a No Doz to finish the assignment. Try some sleeves for once, Renee. Or a wig. Poke your legs through a stuffed Simba. Hell, at this point Renee could wear Bjork herself, and I'd applaud her for being refreshing.

December 3, 2007

Bee Fugly

We've mentioned our distaste for Renee Zellweger's new hair do previously, but it bears mentioning that it has not improved, and in fact, she appears to be TRIMMING IT to MAINTAIN THIS:

Honey, no. Look, I like a sassy short cut as much as anyone else -- I am, after all, the lone voice in the wilderness who liked Katie Holmes's crazy new bangtastic uber-bob -- but grown woman should not look as though she marched into her hair salon with a page torn out of an aging, yellowed copy of Tiger Beat, thrust it into the hands of her stylist and pointed at this picture:

Continue reading Bee Fugly.

January 18, 2007

Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Renee Zellweger

Oh, Renee. You've been in the cocoon of work for months and months now, and this is how you emerge? Wrapped in a shapeless green sheath that hits you at the wrong point on your leg, wearing your signature puffy, pursed-lip smirk and generally looking like you are allergic to fun? Sigh. What are we going to do with you?

Personally, I think you need a sandwich, a tailor, and a good lay, possibly in that order. But maybe a good belly laugh would do the trick with significantly less effort. Just try something, okay?

Renee Zellweger

Fug or Fab: Renee Zellweger

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Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Renee Zellweger

Fug file:

Fug or Fab the Cover: Renee Zellweger

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You Had Me at Fug

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New York Fugshion Week: Day Four

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Fuggerheads

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Fug Or Fab: Fug the Cover?

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Oscar Fug Carpet: Renee Zellweger

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Bee Fugly

Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Renee Zellweger

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