Kate Bosworth Archives

June 4, 2009

Fug or Fab: Kate Bosworth

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I always love to look at the OTHER people in a photo like this:

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

There's always Bored Bouncer Type Guy -- who sees these sorts of shenanigans all the time. And then you've usually got one Concerned Associate, and Some Dude Yelling, and then there is always one person who looks moderately amused by the fact that any of this is happening at all. I always wonder which of those people I would be. I like to THINK I would be Vaguely Amused This Is Happening, but I know me. I would probably be Some Dude Yelling.

But let's talk about Kate, here. I do have to hand it to her for taking risks -- if only because, if she didn't, I wouldn't have as much to write about. There are aspects of this dress that I really like -- but anyone who's read this site for longer than two minutes know what my complaint is: I don't think this color does anything for her. She looks like a pat of butter.

poll by twiigs.com

May 7, 2009

Met Ball Fug-or-Fab Carpet: Kate Bosworth

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BRUCE WILLIS: Hey HEY, check it OUT. Mmm. Tasty. YES. That Bosworth kid looks like an Old Hollywood movie star. Okay, so it's not as uncomfortably exciting as that time Demi wore bike shorts with a cape, but I'm fragile. I can't live through that kind of experience again. And Kate looks classy, even if it's not all that original. I mean, I don't even LIKE lace that much and she's kind of making me want to eat her whole. Yeah, that's right, I'd like to break off a piece of that and then dive hard into a fancy dipping sauce. Heh-heh. "Dive hard." See what I did there? I slay me. I hate it when I make a joke no one can hear. Maybe I should tell my wife.

BRUCE: Wait. On second thought, Emma doesn't need to know what I'm thinking. Maybe I'll just keep watching Bosworth over there and try to figure out for myself how she's making something as tired as lace-with-black-piping look alluring. Although it could be because she's standing next to a dude in a blue suit and blue-suede shoes. THAT dude is insane. I bet Demi would have made me wear that when we were married. I should probably text Ashton.

poll by twiigs.com

April 24, 2009

Fug or Fab: Leighton, Chloe, and Kate

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At the Chloe store opening last night, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that most of the celebrity invitees were clothed in the label's outfits, especially since many of them had the same shoes on or similarly cut things. But as I'm fond of pointing out, you can always say no to something if it's sort of blah. Ergo, onward we press.

First up: Leighton Meester, wearing something that almost gave me a heart attack because initially I thought it was the same thing Aubrey O'Day had on here. But then I realized that, no, Leighton got her hands on the expensive and better-made version:

Those shoes are crazy, but also sort of beautiful -- I appreciate them as art, but can't help thinking they look a little clunky on an actual foot. Still, they're the least of my issues: Now that Leighton's hair is lightened, her skin is self-tanned a little more, her outfit is a fleshy peach-orange color, and she's enrolled in the Emily Deschanel School of Undereye Makeup That Makes You Look Exhausted All The Time, La Meester no longer really pops. Everything kind of blends together. Not to mention that the waistline and giant tie on that skirt reminds me of a pair of shorts I REALLY LOVED back in fifth grade. But I appreciate where the whole thing was going, and although this is faint praise indeed, she certainly could look a lot worse. And my other question is, if Aubrey O'Day wore the Designer Imposter version of this outfit first, does it ruin anything this one is trying to do?

Next up: The Sev.

Continue reading Fug or Fab: Leighton, Chloe, and Kate.

February 27, 2009

Fug Crush

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File this away under, Things I Never Thought I Needed To Specify (a document I begin during a long-ago season of The Amazing Race, wherein we learned that one of the racers was dating someone whose mother still trimmed his toenails for him, at age 20-something. I wasn't aware that I had to add, "capable of cutting one's own toenails" to my list of man requirements, right behind, "alive" and "does not live in car"):

Just because you're attending a green-centric event, you are not REQUIRED to be growing some kind of plant material on your PERSON. Everybody, make a note!

February 23, 2009

Oscar Post-Party Fug Carpet: Kate Bosworth

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For some reason -- I cannot quite put my finger on why -- I feel strongly that this outfit is merely fair.

It's neither hideous nor magical on Kate -- simply average. The fix, I think, might be simple: letting her hair down so she looks less like a milkmaid, and then applying some actual makeup to her face. There have been great, monumental advances recently in this arena. For instance, they make this great stuff now called "lip gloss," which you can put on your mouth to give it a color that doesn't match the tone of your skin, and there's also these weird pencil things named "eye liner" that you can use with this sort of pigmented shadow-stuff that goes on your lids. You can even use a giant brush to put stuff on your cheeks to make it look as if you are blushing naturally. I know it sounds like a crazy, brave new world -- like we just got dropped into an episode of The Jetsons -- but it's all real, and it's all happening. Somebody please take her hand and show her the way to Sephora.

February 18, 2009

New York Fugshion Week, Day 5

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90210

We haven't featured Roisin Murphy nearly enough on our site -- I have a strong feeling she'll be a sleeper contender in Fug Madness this year. Because for her, this is fairly tame:

I wish it were a better angle on her hair, which sits in a coil on the top of her head like a tempting fresh breakfast pastry. She and the lank-haired Nicole Richie rubbed elbows at the Diesel show on Tuesday night, at which the celeb section was cordoned off to protect the likes of Kate Bosworth from prying reporters. BORING.

Earlier in the day, we got an earful of both Khloe and Kim Kardashian at Badgley Mischka, during which Kim told a story about Reggie Bush being startled by naked models. I know, it sounded wrong to me too.

Then we saw Eva Longoria Parker's stylist try to restrain her from bad choices at Matthew Williamson, and a relatively blah Rachel Bilson in the front row at Max Azria. Finally, we rounded out the day with: a little sass and spandex at Baby Phat, where Aubrey O'Day covered up slightly more of her boobs and ANTM's Whitney Thompson picked up the slack; and Narciso Rodriguez's show, where Kanye West finally whipped out the sunglasses and brought a woman in red plastic leggings. That Kanye always gives us something we can stare at unabashedly. At a 9 p.m. show after a long day, there is no greater present.

January 15, 2009

Kate Fugworth

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Somebody really, really needs to have a carefrontation with Kate Bosworth.

They should start by educating her on the food pyramid; deviate into a well-illustrated seminar on why she ought not wear her hair that way ever again, because it seriously makes her look like a very wan alien; and close by noting that just because the notion of a dementor huddled over a sewing machine at night and trying to live out its secret passion for fashion is a romantic one, it doesn't mean it's advisable to look like you're wearing the fruits of its soulless labor.

October 24, 2008

Fug or Fab: Kate Bosworth

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While I was on a plane, which is usually -- I confess -- the only time I can force myself to wade through Vogue or Elle, I read an article in one of them about how designers are tripping over themselves to get to Kate Bosworth. It had something to do with her being all tiny and sample-sized yet hip and young and edgy, and unafraid to take risks, and how she exhales pixie dust and rainbows all over the world before sneezing gold. I don't know. It all felt a bit like a worthless puff piece to me, so I tuned most of it out, because let's face it: Other than 21, Kate Bosworth hasn't really done anything lately other than... wear clothes Which is nice work if you can get it, but talk to me when she makes Young Americans II: Slightly Older Americans for The CW, so we can find out if her brother-boyfriend was ACTUALLY related to her or not. Otherwise I'm bored.

But I will give her this: The article was right about her taking risks.

Part of me adores the workmanship and cute cut of this dress, which definitely does flatter her. But there is another big chunk of me that remembers Mr. Snuffleupagus fondly as my favorite Sesame Street character, and wonders WHY, GOD, WHY somebody would shoot him just to turn his pelt into a dress for Kate Bosworth. I don't care how many fluffy articles people write about how they'd die to clothe her -- I refuse to believe Snuffy intended to go out that way. Where's PETA when you need them? Muppets have feelings too, you know.

poll by twiigs.com

October 23, 2008

Superman Fugs

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KARL: Kate. PET. My hash-slinging waitress at a space diner. Tonight's blue-plate special is sass. SEASON IT.

KATE BOSWORTH: Oh, Karl, you are a scream.

KARL: You are the divine intergalactic crisping sleeve on my Hot Pocket. TOAST.

KATE: Hahaha! Magical. You are a delight.

KARL: The man in the moon needs a lover. Be his concubine. ROMP. He'll leave some green cheese on the dresser. Now stand back for a moment so I may contemplate whether I want popcorn.

KATE: Oh, like Jiffy-Pop? Yes! I'm actually following along with you!

KARL: Well stop, because if I saw you in an anti-gravity machine, my belts would start howling and I would demand roast beef. LAUNCH.

KATE: ... Yes, okay, I can work with that. Yes!

KARL: Now leave me unless your skirt dispenses toothpaste.

KATE: Yes! Wait, no. Shoot, I blew that.

March 18, 2008

Fug the Cover: Kate Bosworth

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Marie Claire

Okay, first of all: WHY ARE THERE SO MANY WORDS ON THIS COVER? I can't FOCUS. I apparently should be: crying at work; eating more; worrying about organic foods scamming me; worrying about my sister secretly being a porn star; trying twenty-five new beauty products in the hopes of changing my life; worrying if dudes secretly hate my outfits, leading to my -- it is implied -- dying alone and under a bookshelf; worrying also about what my look says about me; worrying about whether or not I am a snob about my boyfriend's job; running out and buying a spring dress (that my boyfriend, it seems, will secretly hate), strappy sandals and a big bag; ALL while wondering what the deal is with Kate Bosworth and her quarter-life crisis. That is a TALL ORDER, people. I have a lot going on. I can barely read those many words, much less concern myself with all of them. But most importantly, can we finally please call a stop to the Famously Skinny Starlet Looks Sexily Exhausted And Hungry-style cover? I can't imagine Kate Bosworth wants people to look at her on this cover and think, "man, she looks really stressed and mildly resentful." Unless this photo is supposed to be representative of how she looked mid-quarter-life crisis: beautiful, but very unhappy to be photographed. In which case, well done.

Kate Bosworth

Fug or Fab: Kate Bosworth

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Met Ball Fug-or-Fab Carpet: Kate Bosworth

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Fug or Fab: Leighton, Chloe, and Kate

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Fug Crush

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Oscar Post-Party Fug Carpet: Kate Bosworth

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New York Fugshion Week, Day 5

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Kate Fugworth

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Fug or Fab: Kate Bosworth

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Superman Fugs

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Fug the Cover: Kate Bosworth

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