Anne Hathaway Archives

October 23, 2009

Well Played, Anne Hathaway

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I am usually not a fan of themed dressing.

Like, remember when Kiki Dunst was in Marie Antoinette, and for a while there every time she went somewhere, she looked like she was about ready to plonk her head down on the guillotine? That was annoying. (Although, parenthetically, I really MISS Kirsten Dunst. Come back, Kiki. Your public needs you...to make fun of. WITH LOVE. You know we love you. I actually just want to embrace you. Remember that time I wanted you to be on a show solving murders with Jason Schwartzman? HE HAS A DETECTIVE SHOW NOW. CALL HIM. PUT ON YOUR FAKE GLASSES AND GET A JOB ON THAT THING. Also, where are my royalties for that?) However, Annie H here is at an event benefiting gay and lesbian civil rights in the state of New York, and I feel like the cheery rainbow-flag trim on her cute little 80s-style dress comes across not as irritatingly self-referential -- like Kiki's was (sorry, Kiki) -- but as a fun little nod to the cause. Thematic, and SUBTLE. Imagine that.

September 25, 2009

Well Played, Anne Hathaway

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Welcome back, Hathaway. Not that you had gone anywhere in particular; I just haven't seen you in a while, so I was pleased to turn on my computer today and be greeted with this:

I like it! It's interesting but not insane, it's cheerful, and it's flattering. You are pulling off tangerine with aplomb. It actually has me really craving an orange Popsicle, although maybe that's because it's so hot outside in Los Angeles lately that my freezer asked me to buy it some deodorant at the store. Still, I approve, and the only thing that would make me like it better would be if Anne walked through this picture and handed me some sherbet. I realize that's not likely to happen, but... come on, world. We're in the Aughts. We thought we'd have flying cars by now. Surely SOMEONE is working on a laptop sherbet generator.

June 26, 2009

The Devil Wears Fug

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So, often, Heather and I are asked who we think is the best dressed celebrity, and who is the worst. And the honest truth is that I can never pick either. Because honestly, Us Weekly is not wrong. Stars ARE just like us: sometimes they look awesome and then other times, they don't, and some look more awesome more regularly than others and then some are like this girl I went to college with, who always wore tie-dye. But, if pressed, I would probably say that Anne Hathaway has been looking fabulous lately. I wouldn't wish a check-kiting, fraudulent, lying, cheating, stealing boyfriend on anyone, but at least I think we can all agree that Anne bounced back from a very awkward romantic situation with tremendous aplomb and also, conveniently for purposes of making him eat his heart out, proceeded to look more awesome with more regularity. Which is why she was due for a misstep. AKA, this:

But maybe the fact that she's essentially dressed like a gilded artichoke is actually a GOOD thing. No, seriously. Stick with me here. It's like this. Say you're a huge fan of your college basketball team. And your team is doing REALLY WELL. They're undefeated, right? You actually don't want that. At a certain point, you really want your team to lose a game. Early on. Because otherwise the pressure of being undefeated starts to be too much. It makes you crazy. Because you can't keep it up! Basketball season is long, and towards the end, the games are more important. Going into the tournament undefeated is like a recipe for an ulcer. Because you know the streak WILL be broken eventually and you REALLY don't want it to happen when it counts. What's really better for everyone is to lose a couple of games now and then, to take off the pressure, so that when the heat is really on, your boiler won't explode (wow. That metaphor just went off the rails). If college basketball teams were starlets, Anne would be a major player. She's like the UNC of actresses. And the last thing she wants is to show up wearing this at, say, a major awards show. That would be a huge loss. But today? Eh. Everyone screws up some time. It's a Friday. It's summer time. No one notices! Nobody cares! It's not going to ruin her ranking -- if actresses were ranked like college teams, which it's probably for the best that they are not (Fug Madness notwithstanding, of course. And that kind of...goes in the other direction). She's just taking the pressure off her....er, fashion boiler? You know what I mean? Oh, just nod and pretend like that made sense.

May 6, 2009

Met Ball Fug or Fab Carpet: Anne Hathaway

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This picture ALSO makes me laugh:

She's all like, "Yeah. I know. It's short. Take the picture, bub." I also love the woman in jeans in the background -- clearly a photographer or something -- who is just sort of slack-jawed by what she's seeing. I like to imagine that she's staring at Madonna right now. Although, in fairness, when I saw what Madonna was wearing, I looked more like this:

Wait, that's wrong. I was NOT asking anyone how to talk to an angel. It was more like this:

Continue reading Met Ball Fug or Fab Carpet: Anne Hathaway.

May 1, 2009

Fug or Fab: Anne Hathaway

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** Whoops, when this first published, the poll didn't show up properly -- but it's there now, so vote away!

You know, as much as there's still a lot of residual sympathy for Anne Hathaway's crappy summer breakup with the extortionist, I have to say, there are worse ways for her to dry her tears than on the piles of expensive clothes people are throwing at her now (which I know has to do with her career and not her sadness, but still, VERY fortuitous timing there). Seriously, she could get her calls returned by any major designer she wanted -- assuming she even had to bother picking up the phone in the first place. That's a pretty good piece of karmic payback for having the bad luck to be in love with a dude who allegedly uses the Vatican's name to rip off his marks. (Seriously, did it REALLY need to be said, "Hey, don't tangle with the Pope"? Did it? Are you SURE, jackhole?)

Anyway: Sometimes the knowledge that she's essentially A-plus-list at this point makes me judge Anne's clothes a little more harshly -- since I would be shocked if she ever only had one option for a given event, it's a lot more interesting to me to see what she picks, and I spend a lot more time scratching my chin and trying to decide what I think while also concentrating REALLY HARD on not furrowing my brow in the usual spot above my nose lest it become so deep I could stash a Twinkie in there.

This is one such outfit.

In theory: Cute, I think. Obviously she's had a little trouble keeping the skirt from riding up when she walks. The hair, makeup, and accessories are spot-on with a dress that's got so much happening around the shoulders, and the fact that there IS detail around her shoulders to keep it from just being a tiny blue strapless number is great. But I'm not sure how I feel about the exact Something that's there.

Let's go in for a closer look at it:

Continue reading Fug or Fab: Anne Hathaway.

April 29, 2009

Fug Wars

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Oh my god.

[Photo:Splash News]

I can't believe they still sell this dress. It makes me wonder what else they're going to start selling from 1992. Sure, I get that plaid is back and grunge has been sort of re-envisioned, but this? This is like pure suburban mall rat, mid-July, grabbing an Orange Julius before drifting over to Express to look at the polyester, flower-printed skorts and then reluctantly going to the bookstore to buy the books on your summer reading list that you are never going to read, despite your best intentions, because even for those of us who would read a book on a hike if we could do it without walking into a tree, homework is just not enticing when it's 101 degrees outside. Sadly, this dress did not do much for me in 1992 and it's not doing a ton for Miss Anne right now. On the other hand, at least she doesn't have homework waiting for her. Presumably.

April 2, 2009

Well Played, Anne Hathaway

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VALENTINO: Anne. Pet.

ANNE HATHAWAY: Hello!

VALENTINO: I cannot believe my eyes.

ANNE: Thank you! I AM pretty pleased with my dress. My cleavage looks a bit fabulous.

VALENTINO: SO WHITE.

ANNE: ... Okay, now I have no idea whether it's a compliment or not.

VALENTINO: How are you so PALE? It's so UNNATURAL!

ANNE: ... Did he just tell me MY skin is unnatural?

VALENTINO: Skin the color of paper! It has to be a practical joke! Where is that George Clooney? Is he behind this?

ANNE: But this is totally the skin color I was born with -- I'm fair, you know? I like myself that way.

VALENTINO: Like? LIKE?

ANNE: Yeah! I'm proud of how I look. Porcelain skin is in, man.

VALENTINO: HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

ANNE: No, really, it's...

VALENTINO: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

ANNE: You're serious?

VALENTINO: HA.

ANNE: Because...

VALENTINO: HAH HA HAAAAAAAAA HA HA HAAA. IT MADE A FUNNY! HA HA HA HA!

ANNE: This is going to be a long night.

February 26, 2009

Oscar Well-Played Carpet: Anne Hathaway

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When Anne hit the red carpet, Jessica and I turned to each other and went, "Ooooh, I... don't know." The dress made her look bottom-heavy in a way that we all know full well she is not -- seriously, I'd be surprised if she weighs as much as the jewelry some other people had on that night.

But now that I've gazed upon it in photos, I've completely changed my mind.

I think I love it on her. It doesn't make her look bottom-heavy at all -- it makes her look curvy, or at least curvier, because the cut gives her hips. All those paillettes catch the light in a really fanciful way, and she did an artful job of being restrained with accessories on a night where the folks at Harry Winston -- or some other Beverly Hills bling emporium -- were on their knees begging her to put on another $2 million or so. After the year she's had, this is a fitting climax, especially because she seemed to enjoy herself so much. Hopefully next time she's honored at the Oscars, it'll be for a movie that didn't look like it was going to make me want to slit my wrists.

February 3, 2009

Fug Getting Married/Well Played, Viola Davis

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"Hello. I'm Anne Hathaway:

"Welcome to my one woman show! It's called Cream of Wheat: A Love Story, and it's about my life-long affair with warm breakfast cereals. This is my costume for Act I's closing number, a stirring song called 'Sowing My Quaker Oats' and -- oh, FINE. FINE. I JUST PICKED SOMETHING BLAND. IT HAPPENS. I'm not HAPPY about it. PLEASE don't take a picture of me next to Viola Davis. Have you SEEN HER?

Continue reading Fug Getting Married/Well Played, Viola Davis.

January 22, 2009

Feh or Fab: Anne Hathaway

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Why don't I like this, you guys?

Actually, it's not entirely accurate to say I don't LIKE it. I like it fine. It's perfectly fine. But why don't I LOVE it? Why can't I muster up any emotion other than "fine"? Is it because I'm being visited with the urge to yank it up an inch or so? Is it secretly not as flattering as it could be in her torso-chest-waist area? Is it the weird bit that's almost like a train in the front, which would seem to be ripe for tripping and stepping on it and getting shredded? Is it HER? Are Anne Hathaway and I fighting now because Bride Wars looks so offensive and I don't understand all the buzz for Rachel Getting Married? Am I mad because I can't get a bob without looking like someone left me plugged into the wall socket all night? Am I still holding a grudge against her for Get Real, kind of like the one I held against Jon Tenney for the same show for a really long time until I finally had to admit he's kind of hot and good on The Closer? Am I dead inside? Am I still really emotional ahead of time about the potentially spoileriffic tease for next week's Biggest Loser, and therefore do not have sufficient room in my heart for warmth and love? Am I too focused on why we only got about two minutes of Desmond on Lost? What? What is it?

poll by twiigs.com

Anne Hathaway

Well Played, Anne Hathaway

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Well Played, Anne Hathaway

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The Devil Wears Fug

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Met Ball Fug or Fab Carpet: Anne Hathaway

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Fug or Fab: Anne Hathaway

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Fug Wars

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Well Played, Anne Hathaway

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Oscar Well-Played Carpet: Anne Hathaway

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Fug Getting Married/Well Played, Viola Davis

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Feh or Fab: Anne Hathaway

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