Christina Ricci

October 19, 2009

Unfug It Up: Christina Ricci

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Christina Ricci is as cute as the proverbial button. And I feel like this little dress is ALMOST as cute as she deserves.

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But there's something about it that just doesn't quite work for me. It feels like what you'd get if you decided to make a saucy nightgown for the goth-enthusiast who REALLY hates her arms. If it were sleeveless, and had a better defined waist, we might be in business. Or if we chopped two feet off the bottom and wore it with jeans, she might skate by. Or....well, you tell me in the comments. As Elvis once said, don't be cruel. Also, please try the peanut butter, banana and bacon sandwiches. They're DELICIOUS.

Comments (130) | Posted By Jessica at 10:30 AM in Christina Ricci
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July 13, 2009

Fug or Fab: Christina Ricci

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Since this is an opinion site, I suppose I shouldn't have to disclaim that the following is just my opinion. But in this case, I really am guided by one knee-jerk reaction against the material.

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Empirically, Christina Ricci is a very cute girl, and I like the cut of the dress. But I'm entirely turned off by the fabric. I am not a fan of light-blue satin that's so shiny you could look down at Earth from the moon and groan, "OW, MY EYES." It feels like that color and that fabric should only be married in the form of slinky pajamas or perhaps a bridesmaid's dress -- which makes me wonder if she's simply trying to salvage gowns she'd already ordered for her aborted wedding to That Dude She Was Engaged To For Like An Hour. I appreciate the nod to recycling, if that's the case, but couldn't she have made some sleepwear? Or perhaps a raft of really nice pillowcases?

Just in case my bias against the material has blinded me, though, I shall throw it to you, Fug Nation:

poll by twiigs.com
Permalink | Posted By Heather at 11:25 AM in Christina Ricci, Fug or Fab
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October 21, 2008

Christina Fugci

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There is something pleasingly melodramatic about this photograph to me. It's as if Christina Ricci is attending an old-timey ball at which she expected to be the belle -- until, while standing near the bottom of the stairs, she caught sight of her previously plain, unthreatening archrival descending the steps, capturing the attention of every eligible bachelor in the joint by wearing a fabulous, cleavage-tastic dress. Which, naturally, she had recently very quickly adapted from a boring, out-of-style, tacky garment Christina lent her in the hopes of making her nemesis feel stupid. And now, La Ricci is plotting the best revenge, like whether she can make a martini strong enough to sear the ringlets off a bitch.

Then, of course, she remembers that she can easily regain the attentions of the crowd simply by turning sideways:
Continue reading Christina Fugci.
Permalink | Posted By Heather at 12:21 PM in Christina Ricci
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February 20, 2007

Fug Snake Moan

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SAMUEL L.: So listen up, here, Ricci. I'm going to tell it like it motherf***ing IS.

CHRISTINA: What? You don't like the dress? Are you kidding me? I didn't get all dolled up in this awesome fuschia gown just so...

SAMUEL L.: Chill out, Christina, you look great, but I'm going to tell you one thing: It's motherf***ing COLD outside!

CHRISTINA: I know, but seriously, I look totally hot, and I just thought...

SAMUEL L.: Listen, I know you thought, "Oh, Samuel L. is a wacky old mess, showing up in that weird motherf***ing argyle sweater..."

CHRISTINA: It DOES look a little bit like you stole it from the notebook of the Physics Club president, who was designing it for their national competitions.

SAMUEL L.: Did I ask for your motherf***ing input, motherf***er? I don't CARE if you think my sweater looks like it's waiting for some snot-nosed 16-year old motherf***er to go through a gangsta-thermodymanics phase, o-motherf***ing-kay?

CHRISTINA: Uh...

SAMUEL L.: And I don't CARE if you're motherf***ing tired of seeing me with motherf***ing hats on, and I don't EVEN care if my coat looks to you like I think I'm in motherf***ing Wisconsin hunting  motherf***ing deer. You get me?

CHRISTINA: It's... a little help here, anyone?

SAMUEL L.: I'm Samuel motherf***ing L. motherf***ing Jackson, okay? And not only do I wear whatever the motherf**** I want, but I look motherf***ing FINE in it, too, because I am a BAD-motherf***ing-ASS. And what this bad-motherf***ing-ass wants to tell you is, you look COLD in your sleeveless dress with your pink frostnipped frozen face, okay? So maybe you should faux-fur-line that motherf***er, or buy a hat, or a motherf***ing mathlete-quality argyle sweater, before your arms fall off. CAN YOU MOTHERF***ING DIG IT?

CHRISTINA: You know what? You're right. It is cold, and my face is about to freeze off. I can dig it, Samuel L., I motherf***ing CAN!

SAMUEL L.: Damn, girl, watch your language. There's really no call for that kind of talk. Lord! Somebody get this girl some mouth-soap.

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 11:14 AM in Christina Ricci
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