Hayden Panettiere of Heroes is so cute, and that is an adorable apron she's wearing. But ... what gives, cheerleader? Did the hot, mysterious Haitian secretly pluck all memory of the concept of shirts from your brain? That seems awfully pervy of him.
Continuing on the theme of people we love to like and hate to fug, Hayden Panettiere is delightful on Heroes. Her hair always looks very healthy and pretty, she's a very talented actress, and she's been doing this since she was a single-digit age and still somehow manages not to be headed down Cokehead Alley. Maybe she's just better at hiding it than many of her Young Hollywood brethren, but regardless, she doesn't give us a reason to worry that we will have to petition for her to go to rehab after she, say, leaves a club with some human dumptruck like Brandon Davis and falls vulva-over-teakettle into the gutter, giving all of us a vulgar window into her private cavern. Thanks for that, Hayden.
And at first, I thought, "Well, everything seems to be in order with this outfit -- move along; nothing to see here." I mean, yeah, it's a tad beachy for New York in winter, but we certainly saw barer outfits during Fashion Week (to the girl who wore short-shorts with bare legs and a tank top: There is nothing about you that we understand). So we were prepared to give a cursory scroll through the other photos and then move along.
Sigh. We should've guessed it wouldn't be that simple.
Truly, I should just be thrilled that Hayden Panetierre of Heroes is dressing in classy, grown-up clothes that don't require us to pray she is a) wearing underwear; b) toting seat liners for when she sits down sans panties; and/or c) wearing a very tough-to-crack chastity belt, because she was born in 1989 and we can't abide the idea of anything born while we were in Algebra II deciding to flash some ladybits.
And in all honesty, there's nothing really wrong with this outfit here. But... doesn't she look distractingly like a campy flight attendant? Like maybe Jet Blue has decided to run a promotion wherein a star from a randomly selected NBC show of will start randomly working its flights, peddling peanuts and sodas and those yummy blue Terra Chips that I love so much? Granted, that would be a quick way to my heart, and certainly there's nothing wrong with being a flight attendant, but I'll wager if you asked any of them whether they'd enjoy wearing their uniforms for a big night on the town, you'd hear gales of laughter through which you could faintly make out the words "tight," "itchy," and "panty lines." (But they would NOT respond by stealing little bottles of booze from the planes and drinking themselves silly. Because if there's anything the hideous Gwyneth Paltrow "comedy" A View From The Top -- or as she called it, A View From My Ass -- taught us, it's that America is really freaking sick of Mike Myers. Oh, and also, that a good flight attendant with big hair and big dreams NEVER steals miniature bottles of booze from the aircraft.)
At any rate, I find it sort of unsettling that this dress makes me expect Hayden to chat me up and then charge me $5 for headsets so that I can watch Garfield: A Tale Of Two Kitties and ANOTHER $5 for wine because it's a domestic flight and even though LA to NYC is about as long as NYC to England, I still evidently have to pay to medicate any domestic unease with flying, which is a load of BULL, if you ask me, but nobody did, which is a real shame. And because she's not the evil overlord who made that rule, I'd rather she tried a different dress so that I don't inadvertantly get cross with her for it.
Besides, no offense to Hayden, but we'd rather have Conan O'Brien work our flight. Nothing like a little genial hilarity along with those microscopic bags of generic Snak Mix, not to mention that we'd get to ogle his towering cowlick -- which legend has it is propped up by an elaborate system of pulleys and a paste made from Easy Cheese and molasses. Also, he'd give us free wine. I know it in my heart.
Have you ever wanted to gaze deep into the eyes of Fug?
Now you can.
[Photo by Daily Celeb.]
Now, when you stare at The Fug, The Fug stares back.
Chilling, isn't it?
A book, huh? Is it just stuff you already put on the Web site?
Nope, we wrote the whole thing fresh, just for you.
Awesome. In that case, I want to read it!
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