Carrie Underwood has a habit of showing up at award shows looking like a million bucks on the red carpet and then changing into something that makes her look more like five bucks. Behold:
Red Carpet:
"What a cute girl," you might say. "I love things that are sparkly. She looks sexy and age-appropriate!"
And then:
Carrie Underwood and her lovely hair showed up at the Today show this morning evidently thinking she was there to play Daisy Mae in an improvised modern-day retelling of Li'l Abner.
This is where I'd try to make a joke about updating the plot of Li'l Abner, but despite having been in it in ninth grade, all I can remember is that we sang a song by the name of "Jubilation T. Cornpone," which will make a fine name for my firstborn child but isn't terribly informative about the rest. However, I do remember finishing every rehearsal thinking, "I hope my family never speaks of this again," so I'm confident that if Ms. Underwood had ever seen Li'l Abner before, she would have stayed far, far away from any country-sweet milkmaid couture that make her an ideal candidate for a role in Dogpatch, U.S.A.
As if watching Esther go on a Vogue-induced romp through English meadows in tweed weren't weird enough, Teen People --which presumably differs from its parent by featuring slightly hipper baby-down-the-well stories mixed in with its gossip -- has decided to take to the prairies in its effort to tell us what's hot for fall:
Even Carrie Underwood, Country Princess, appears to be having trouble fully committing to this folksy ensemble. And who could blame her? She's wearing a denim gown. In addition to being cumbersome, it probably weighs a ton; indeed, the picture almost makes it look like she's on the verge of tripping and faceplanting on the lawn. (Luckily, I hear grass stains are the new black.)
If this spread is to be believed, then come autumn, everybody will be dressing like they've been torn from a debutante ball sponsored by Wrangler. I think the Teen People folks have not only gone off their collective rocker, but thrown it on a bonfire and watched it burn while chanting in tongues.
A book, huh? Is it just stuff you already put on the Web site?
Nope, we wrote the whole thing fresh, just for you.
Awesome. In that case, I want to read it!
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