Joy Bryant

Yep, it's that time of year again: Fashion Week in the Big Apple, minus the arctic blast, plus a few drops of freezing rain here and there, and multiplied by a hometown Super Bowl win (and to think people doubted us when we picked Eli to win the battle of the quarterbacks!).

As usual, we're going to try really hard to update when we can, but if we're not as frequent as usual, please bear with us -- we'll be back home this weekend and working on our regular schedule. In the meantime you can always get a fug fix by wandering over to The Cut, New York magazine's fashion blog, where we're posting our dispatches.

Again, we promise we'll put up a post here and there when we get a second to breathe, but if our best efforts aren't enough, we'll totally be back on track beginning Monday. I mean, we can't leave Intern George to his own devices for THAT long. He'll make origami swans out of all the paper towels, and those things can really pile up fast.

January 29, 2008

Well Played: Joy Bryant

Remember the last time we saw Joy Bryant? To say this is an improvement is an understatement:

I wonder if she's got some kind of multiple personality thing going on -- a la Bai Ling but with less nudity (also, doesn't "a la Bai Ling" sound like an option on the menu at some poncy restaurant, like, "the chicken can also be served a la Bai Ling for a surcharge of $8"?). One night, Joy's wardrobe selection is driven by the girl who REALLY loves dressing like an extra from a poorly-produced Lifetime movie about pioneers, the next evening it's propelled by the one with simple, glamourous taste. If I may offer some advice, Joy, see if you can do something about getting rid of Girl One and hang on like cold, grim death to Girl Two.

October 30, 2007

Fug Bryant

If anyone decided to modernize Little House On The Prairie -- I don't know, set it on an alpaca farm somewhere in Iowa, right near a giant outlet mall -- then Joy Bryant would already be dressed for the lead.


[Photo: Splash News]

It's like she walked into Wet Seal and picked up one of everything that was on sale. And while that's sometimes fine -- apart from the leggings, of course, unless she's in a yoga class or dressing up as Lindsay Lohan for Halloween tomorrow -- it's a little overwhelming to wear every item and accessory all at once. Especially when one of her booties seems to be peeling itself like a banana. 

They're called camisoles, Joy. It almost rhymes with areola, which is what I can see because you're not wearing any kind of undergarments. Although, actually, you'd probably need something strapless, since when you stapled your flimsy translucent fabric together, you were determined to do it in a way that thwarted anything strapped. So perhaps I should say, "They're called undergarments, Joy." And they result in your boobs not being entirely visible to the rest of the world. Do you have a friend who can take you to Victoria's Secret -- you know, the giant pink panty palace in the mall where 40 photos of Gisele in tiny underwear stare down at you as you wonder whether you can handle that much lace in your nethers? Yes, that place. You might want to go there.

March 20, 2006

Fug Bryant

They told Joy Bryant that this was an audition for the video tribute Olivia Newton John: Still Physical.

They lied. 

September 30, 2005

Joy Fug

Remember that story about how Sean Young was so crazy to land role of Catwoman [this, youngsters, was like a million years ago, back when Sean Young ostensibly had a career, albeit one on the wane, and the Catwoman in question was not the Halle Berry Catwoman, but rather the Catwoman that was eventually played by Michelle Pfieffer in Batman Returns] that she showed up on some talk show dressed as Catwoman in some wrong-headed attempt to...I don't even know, and everyone in America looked at each other and went, "oh, dude, That's just sad." ?

I think Joy Bryant is doing the same thing for the title role in the live-action version of Pocahontas:

Except it's even sadder, because there is no live-action version of Pocahontas in the works.*

[* Okay,  okay, you can close your Outlook. Apparently, Terrance Malick is doing some Pocahontas something or other, but suffice to say, Joy Bryant is not in it, and it's already in post-production, and therefore, she never will be in it, and that, also, is terribly sad, don't you agree?]

Search

Fug Favorites


Featured Fugger

Bai Ling

The Book of fug

A book, huh? Is it just stuff you already put on the Web site?

Nope, we wrote the whole thing fresh, just for you.

Awesome. In that case, I want to read it!

Thank you! Click here to find out all the details!

Subscribe to GFY

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner