Katherine Heigl

Remember the time Katherine Heigl wore this? And we all chatted about it at length and it was so fun?

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Well, except maybe for Katie. Whatever, she can go cry on a pile of cash and then go kick Dempsey in the shins, or whatever she does when she's feeling persecuted. ANYWAY, someone's trotted that old girl out again. I'd pretend it was a MYSTERY who, but her name's in the title up there. See? 

Well, at least Katherine Heigl has that face. Because no matter how enamored, ambivalent, or indecisive I am about her wardrobe, there is no disputing that her genes are enviable. I mean, she wore a bald cap and a scarf for most of Grey's Anatomy's late-season episodes, and managed to be radiant. The woman doesn't even NEED HAIR to look beautiful. That's just not fair to the rest of us.

I'm not sure I can be as nice about this dress, though:

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At first, I rather liked it -- there's something appealingly retro about it, as if she's about to go talking it up on The Barry Gibb Talk Show (indeed, I would love to hear her thoughts on crazy gold medallions) before busting out some "Night Fever" dance moves as Gerard Butler sashays around her in white bellbottoms.

But then, gripped with writer's block, I kept staring at it. And "appealingly retro" turned into "my Aunt Ethel dug this out of her closet and wore this to Christmas Mass because she decided she'd been single long enough." You know how much I love when celebs wear bold shades, so it pains me to say this, but the medium-green sequins ended up reeking a bit more of fromage  -- or Ben Gay -- than I expected. And then I noticed that the huge sleeve seems like it's tucked into the waist ribbon; that the bodice kind of makes her chest look droopy in a way that it most assuredly is not; and that the hem hits her leg in an awkward spot. For me it's hot-adjacent, but somehow not quite all the way there.

[Sidebar: Is it just me, or is her hair reddish now? I usually love redheads in green. Maybe I'm not sure I love Katherine as a redhead. Something to ponder, since fairly recently I thought I liked her better with darker hair. Clearly I do not know my own mind.]

I'd be curious to see this in a different color -- a metallic, perhaps, or maybe a dark red -- hemmed about two inches higher, with her (blonde again, I think) hair flowing loose around her face to offset the Eau d' Aunt Ethel that's shrouding this for me.

What would you do? Have at it in the comments, and remember to keep it on-topic, keep it friendly, and keep your hands out of the disposal.
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Katherine Heigl? Pretty. The dress? Pretty. This picture? Pretty...AWKWARD. AM I RIGHT, LADIES? THANKS EVERYONE, I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK!


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KATHERINE: God, I feel good. I'm pretty, I'm thin, I'm loaded, I already have an Emmy so I SERIOUSLY DON'T CARE that I wasn't nominated again NO REALLY I DON'T NEED YOUR MEANINGLESS TROPHIES, I'm in an expensive dress, I'm a brunette again and I kind of look better that way, and I'm taller than, like, everyone standing behind me right now. Life is so good.

VOICE: Hey, Katherine! KATHERINE!

KATHERINE: Who is... Oh, Jesus, no. Not him.

August 18, 2008

Fug or Fab: Katherine Heigl

Last week, after we'd had that pretty fierce run at Katie Holmes and her pants, someone e-mailed me to suggest that I was picking on her for no reason because I don't like her -- to which I responded truthfully that, no, I was picking on her because she'd clearly had a mental break while standing in the middle of Tom's walk-in closet, and that I actually am kind of rooting for her to keep it together and speak for herself and kill it on Broadway.

However, I do have bias problems with Katherine Heigl. Like Jessica with Sarah Paulson and Studio 60, I can't separate Katherine Heigl from... well, the version of herself that is Katherine Heigl, The Actress, Who Comes Off Like A Spoiled, Conceited Brat In All Her Interviews. Ergo, I admit freely that I am totally unable to view this outfit objectively.

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[Photo: Splash News]

I feel like, in THEORY, it's probably fine? I don't know. It's a little bit like something I expect Pam Anderson to wear -- you know, tiny sandals, skintight skirt, and cheap-looking shiny satin top that juices the grapefruits as much as possible. And while empirically I can admit that it shows off Heigl's figure just fine, the rest of me -- the part that wants her to exile herself to a shed in Siberia for three months so that we can have a break -- can't help thinking rather savagely that Katherine looks kind of desperate and obvious. And overtanned. Also, I really hate her hair in that style, that length, and that overprocessed color, and I hope the Grey's Anatomy writers reward her "outspokenness" not by killing her off (and thereby giving her what she wants), but forcing her to appear in every single scene with only pointless lines, like, "Here is your ten blade," or, "Hey, has anyone seen George?" or, "OK, Meredith, so I'm working on this really interesting patient, and... oh, never mind, I'm going to go take a nap."

Wow. Cranky! But, the point is, I am totally biased here, and that is why I need you people to provide a dose of perspective.

March 5, 2008

Fug's Anatomy


[Photo: Flynetonline.com]

"Why did that kid  just tell me he loved Dukes of Hazzard? Was he implying I ought to be wearing short-shorts? I'm so confused. Ever since I got my hair cut, people have been acting SO WEIRD. Like that girl at Cost Plus yesterday who told me she thought my sister was way more talented than I am.  I thought maybe my sister put her up to it, but how would she have pulled that off...?  She didn't know I was going to buy another set of woven seagrass wastebaskets today. And then there was that dude at the gas station this morning who told me to say hello to Tony....who the hell is Tony? Does he think T.R's name is actually Tony? IS T.R's name actually Tony? I better check. Then there was that old lady who told me I never should have let Nick go....who is NICK? What is going ON around here? I need a cigarette."

In a year when a lot of people showed up in red, I half-expected Katherine Heigl to whip out a shiv and shank the hell out of Anne Hathaway for arriving earlier in a jazzier, more romantic version of her tomato gown. Not that it's Hathaway's fault; I just feel like if a girl is so annoying as to complain about her husband and married life every time you shove a microphone into her face, then she's the type of pill who will sneak up behind Anne at the post-party and husk, "You know what the devil wears? HOSPITAL SCRUBS, bitch. Sleep with one eye open."

So let's compare the dresses. First up: Katherine Heigl, because maybe by putting her first she won't leave a flaming bag of manure on our doorsteps.

It's nice. And it fits snugly. Her makeup is a splotchy hot mess and I'm a little tired of her trying to morph herself into Marilyn Monroe -- which, speaking of pilfering, I wonder how Christina Aguilera feels about her aesthetic being snatched out from under her nose while she was doing her laamaze breathing. But otherwise, there's nothing really overtly wrong with it.

However, although the dresses aren't identical and certainly there's room for both of them in this world, we're guessing Katherine Heigl took one look at Anne Hathaway and immediately ran for the bar:

February 19, 2008

Fug or Fab: Katherine Heigl

Full disclosure. I love this coat. I love a kitschy, costume-y coat, especially if it looks like something Auntie Mame would wear to brunch to talk about all the money she's not leaving you until you clean up your act.

In fact, I have to be honest and admit that I might -- nay, totally would -- wear this whole thing, with sluttier shoes and different accessories. But I was discussing this very look with some people recently, and there seemed to be the thought that there's something about the huge string of pearls and the hair and the Giant Proffered Cig that pushes her right into Wackadoo Old Broad territory. Wackadoo Old Broad Just Exiting Manhattan Divorce Court, if you will. And while I unironically can't WAIT until I can legitimately be a Wackadoo Old Broad, I am.

February 12, 2008

27 Fugs

I know I was out of town for a while, but I'd think I would have heard the news that Katherine Heigl was joining the cast of a new sitcom about six sassy sexy singles living together in a big city, trying to make it it big while living in an expensive loft and working at a series of glamourous, unrealistic jobs like: magazine editor, model booker, fashion designer, wedding planner, TV producer, and personal chef (because NO ONE on television is ever, like, an account manager at an insurance company or a paralegal or works for the county or something). I feel like I DEFINITELY would have heard the news that she was taking over the role of the sassy Mona-Robinson-esque downstairs neighbor/landlady, formerly played by Ellen Burstyn:

"You kids! I came up here to tell you to keep it down, but you're just too cute for me to stay mad at! Regale me with tales of your romantic problems, so I can respond with comments that are too comically graphic for my advanced age, in the hopes that this will evolve into the sort of part where the studio audience claps with barely-contained glee at all my entrances! Pass the Ensure!"

December 16, 2005

Fug's Anatomy

First of all, a little housekeeping: thanks for your patience this morning while the site was partially down. It was a snafu on the Typepad side of things, but everything seems to be up and running now!

So let's get down to business:

Now, look.  Katherine Heigl is beautiful. She was beautiful when she was some kind of alien-girl on Roswell, and she's beautiful now. And as anyone who watches Grey's Anatomy knows, she's got a totally smoking Real Girl body (and no, that's not a euphamism for "fat," the way "curvy" is in People magazine.) Girl is hot.

So I am very confused as to why she would wrap said body in what appears to be kitchen curtains covered with some kind of terrible Salute to Split Pea-colored tulle overlay. I'm not against ladylike, retro clothes, at all. When done right, they work beautifully (see Parker, Sarah Jessica and Witherspoon, Reese). But this dress is like an Homage to Pleasantville Told Through The Assorted Fabrics of  My Grandma's Sitting Room, and that, my friends, suits no one.

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