Naomi Watts

September 28, 2009

The Fugternational

Naomi Watts really has a jones for things that look like jumpsuits but leave you with questions. First there was this -- which I decided WAS a jumpsuit -- and now there is this:

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[Photo: Splash News]

This, I think, is a dress that's just happens to LOOK like a genie-pants jumpsuit when she stands a certain way. But honestly, this thing fails on both counts: Either it's an oddly shaped dress that inexplicably stops at her ankles, or it's what Jeannie would wear to a funeral. None of that changes the fact that she's wearing lace netting -- like she just popped into 2009 from Madonna's "True Blue" album-release party because she wanted to know how it all turned out, and is about to run screaming when she sees what Madonna's forearm veins have become.

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 12:16 PM in Naomi Watts
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September 15, 2009

Naofug Watts

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I think Naomi Watts is trying to put one over on me.

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I THINK she's wearing a jumpsuit. But I suppose that MAYBE this is just a black shirt tucked into quasi-jodhpurs -- like, perhaps the giant brooch she's pinned to her navel is a deliberate attempt to throw me off the scent, because it could be hiding some kind of telltale mark, like zipper and button or somesuch, that would rescue this outfit from Jumpsuit City (and promptly banish it to Bad Pantsville, but that's not my problem).

The back view doesn't entirely help either:

Continue reading Naofug Watts.
Permalink | Posted By Heather at 12:15 PM in Naomi Watts
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February 24, 2009

Oscar Post-Party Fug: Naomi Watts

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So, THIS didn't go according to plan:

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I assume the plan was to look like a glorious mermaid -- a delicious siren! -- and not like a woman who'd actually been dredged up from the bottom of the ocean. If I've got that reversed, though...well, mission accomplished.

Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 12:30 PM in Naomi Watts, Oscars
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June 24, 2008

Fug or Fab: Naomi Watts

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Okay, before I begin, I have to warn you that I have had "How Do I Live" by LeAnn Rimes stuck in my head for like three days now, and I want to kill myself (no offense, LeAnn). It's driving me crazy. It's far worse than the time in college when I had "Bust a Move" in my head for two weeks, because at least you could dance to that. Anyway, my Rimes-related derangement is probably responsible for the fact that I saw this picture and muttered, "oh, Diane Kruger." Although I am pretty sure that Diane Kruger has worn something very similar to this and is probably telling Josh Jackson how much she wants it right now (Jackson, in case you are wondering, is in the running to replace Intern George should he ever retire), this is, of course, Naomi Watts:

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She kind of pulls it off, but that might be because she's so pretty to begin with, because she also looks kind of ridiculous. I don't know. I can't decide anything over this MUSIC in my BRAIN.
poll by twiigs.com
Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 01:30 PM in Fug or Fab, Naomi Watts
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May 15, 2008

Fugholland Drive

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Naomi Watts' belted toga makes her knees look like they're about two inches above her ankle bone, and gives the impression that she's hunched over in bladder-suppressing agony.

I'm telling you all that now because once you see the picture, it's entirely possible your eyes will not travel far enough south to notice the rest of it.

She really should have sold ad space on those nipple flowers.

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 11:15 AM in Naomi Watts
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September 21, 2006

Naomi Fuggs

Is it just me, or is it true that in 90 percent of photos of Naomi Watts, she looks either spaced out, or as if she's trying to smile through some uncertainty as to what is happening around her?

This photo says to me that Liev Schreiber has great taste in coats. And that when he realized with horror that Naomi was about to leave the house wearing the exact same thing Lindsay Lohan has already donned to go clubbing (cute open-toed Louboutins desecrated by a floaty, baggy dress/shirt over leggings), he decided he'd rather die than let his beloved share anything in common with a wailing, jealous, evil-mothered wild child, so in a confusing whirl of fashion rage that left Naomi dizzy-eyed and discombobulated, he bought a coat and thrust it on her to hide this brutal happening from photographers' prying eyes.

Then he called me up and yelled at me for typing a terrible run-on sentence. It was awkwardly prescient of him. Too bad he couldn't have used those powers to save her from the billowy fug in the first place.

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 08:27 AM in Naomi Watts
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December 14, 2005

Fug Kong II

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Hopefully the King Kong premieres aren't over yet, because it seems we could fill the site with photos of what Naomi Watts is wearing to them.

Apparently, Naomi does not watch Las Vegas on NBC, or else she would have learned about the dangers of billowing dresses from the tragic death-by-wind of Lara Flynn Boyle, whose extra fabric got caught by a gust the right way-- er, or wrong way, I guess -- and blew her clean across the Strip and through a hotel window to her (ostensible) death. Such are the perils of insane sleeves, and certainly, there is enough superfluous stuff on this outfit to sew three backup dresses. The whole thing mildly evokes the weird fashion of our favorite Icelandic nutjob who herself seems fond of odd-shaped gowns that may or may not have a bizarre cape element to them. Paging Bjork!

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 11:55 AM in Naomi Watts
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December 13, 2005

Fug Kong

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Naomi Watts, though talented and lovely, is not doing much to change my initial thought that she is basically Nicole Kidman II: Pale, Shy Aussie Boogaloo.

Observe -- Nicole Kidman at the Bewitched premiere, and Naomi Watts at the premiere of King Kong:

Watts looks better. The uber-blond hair and fair skin do not look as freaky and alien on her as they do on Kidman, and do at least I get more what she was going for with this choice -- the movie is the third iteration of this story, so a vintage-looking gown seems appropriate for the kind of wispy starlet who would get spirited away by a handsy ape.

But their basic similarities -- the floaty white dress that looks more like a nightgown than an actual outfit, the updo, the curls, the general shapelessness, current/former boyfriend with rhyming names (Keith/Heath) -- are a little eerie. And I'll be honest, as much as she wins the photographic showdown with the increasingly icky Kidman, I don't think that old costume-shop thing flatters Watts at all. It reminds me less of a romantic old dress than Princess Leia about to get dumped head-first into the Death Star trash compactor.

Permalink | Posted By Heather at 09:30 AM in Naomi Watts
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