Rihanna Archives

July 6, 2009

Disfugia

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As luck would have it, this is totally what I wore when I was celebrating the 4th of July at TAO in Vegas!

[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

It goes without saying that girlfriend has a great body but OH MY GOD THOSE ARE PASTIES UNDERNEATH A BLAZER. This is what you wear when, at some point, you are going to dramatically rip off said blazer as you strut confidently toward the pole while "Pour Some Sugar on Me" blares from the speakers. I do enjoy how BORED she looks, though, all, "yeah, I'm wearing sequined pasties. YAWN. Can you all just wig out about this now so we can get it over with and get on with our night?"

Always one to please, let's take a closer look and commence the wigging out. This is....well, it's TECHNICALLY safe for work, but if your boss would find it odd that you're examining pasties in close up, consider yourself warned.

Continue reading Disfugia.

June 16, 2009

Fug Up And Drive

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I'm Scared

Sometimes, I get so caught up in looking around for photos to fug that I forget to eat lunch in a timely manner, and then my stomach starts growling and totally goes apeshit on me.

[Photo: Splash News]

But generally, I like to keep that feeling on the INSIDE.

May 8, 2009

Unfug It Up: Rihanna

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metallics,
pink

Given that Rihanna's style is generally quite unusual -- no newsflash there -- I think I like where she was going with this outfit.

[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

I just don't know about how she got there. Somehow, these particular parts don't add up to the exact sum I was expecting when I clicked on the photo this morning. For instance: I love the idea of the skirt, but that right pocket is flapping open like it's jonesing for a five-fingered flesh snack. That contributes to the overall aura that the skirt is cut a bit bulgy and weird. The boots would be cute at a pole-dancing class, but distract me a bit here. And the shirt, while edgy, also evokes images of her sitting up at night crouched under her dining table, crafting clothes out of aluminum foil so that when the aliens come they won't cook her innards with their mindbeams.

And yet with all that said, I don't think this is too far off from being interesting. So we're going to use it to launch a feature idea we had that involves -- drum roll, please -- opening the comments to you. See, we're curious as to what you'd tweak or dump from this outfit to make it better. Would you just swap out the shoes? Change the skirt to one less lumpy? Take off the shirt's elaborate sleeves so that it's a bit less "Space: The Final Frontier"? Replace the shirt altogether? Or make the shirt into a dress?

The usual Fug Madness commenting rules apply: Please keep it on topic. Don't veer off into a discussion about Rihanna's personal life, or Paris Hilton, or the economy. Be respectful of the subject and of each other. But most of all, have fun with it. If we like how it goes, we might make this type of feature a lot more commonplace around here.

And with that, consider the test balloon floated. Comment away...

May 7, 2009

Fughanna

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Leave it to Rihanna to splash back onto this site in a big way. As if arriving at the Met Ball looking like a cater-waiter at a Dynasty garden party weren't dramatic enough, RiRi then hit the shops in this:

[Photo: Splash News]

I treasure how much it looks like the people on the street are giggling at this, like they can't figure out why THEY are all in coats or clothes with some level of insulation and yet Rihanna is wearing a naked corset. Maybe the heat from her boobs' collective fury at being tamped down in this manner is keeping her warm. But my question is, how do you know if what you're trying on is going to look good out in the real world? Does she have to unhook that thing any time she wants to test out a dress? Does she gauge the merits of a pair of pants based on whether they work when she wears them with one of Scarlett O'Hara's old undergarments? To me, a girl who loves to shop but sometimes is deterred from trying stuff on based on how annoying it will be to undo my existing outfit, it's about as practical as wearing a snap-crotch bodysuit to a frat party.

But far be it from me to comprehend the mysteries of Rihanna's mind. Check out what else she wore recently:

Continue reading Fughanna.

February 6, 2009

Random Fug: Teyana Taylor

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When I Googled this Teyana Taylor person to find out more about her, I learned she has a single called "Google Me." Eerie. I expect to find out that, minutes before I finish typing, she's released a follow-up called "Fug Me," because she's some kind of rapper-psychic.

Although it doesn't take ESP or a crystal ball to know she was going to get it from us for this:

Have you ever been faced with a buffet so sumptuous -- or at least so full of breakfast pastries -- that you were paralyzed from not knowing where to start? That is how I feel right now. Do I begin with the workout pants? The boots, which look like she shot Fozzy Bear after mugging a stripper? Or the understated, tasteful corset? It's a marvel of symbolism: the ruby navel, the gold chain flap dangling slightly north of where her natural-born Google would be... But nothing is quite so achingly subtle as the mammoth bejewelled pseudo-nipples that cover her actual skin-made ones. It's like her Faberge egg hatched and she's getting ready to breast-feed its spawn. This might be my favorite outfit in GFY history. I need at LEAST three in different colors.

December 19, 2008

Fug Up And Drive

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Rihanna, I am flummoxed.

[Photo: BauerGriffinOnline.com]

Are those boot-pants -- pantaboots? bootaloons? -- like, the adult version of footie pajamas? Where does one acquire such an item? Is it supposed to save you time when your shoes and your pants are one and the same? How do you hang those up in your closet without the show part weighing them down and making them fall off the hanger? How do you get them cleaned? Do you weather-treat the entire thing? When you go hang out at a friend's house and want to kick off your shoes, but can't, do you die a little inside? When you go to someone's home and that person asks that you kick off your shoes before entering, do you just take off the bootaloons altogether and swan around in your underwear? When you get blisters, does it take you half-an-hour to put Band-Aids on them? And does every inch of the bootaloons smell like feet, since they are essentially shoes with a crotch? Don't you ever get afraid you'll have to cut yourself out of them when you're drunk and they just won't budge?

Please advise.

November 25, 2008

AMA Awards Show Fug: Rihanna

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If I were Rihanna, and I'd shown up in a glorified napkin that left me paranoid a strong gust -- or even just the wind created by Colbie Caillat's PR girl hurrying past with a watering can -- would expose my butt, I'd have been pretty stoked to change into this, too.

I mean, it doesn't get much more protective than thigh-high boots over rubber pants. Nothing is falling out of this except the tip of her big toe. It's basically a hugely elaborate chastity belt -- poor Chris Brown probably had to spend half an hour helping her peel them off after the show, possibly while she held onto a doorframe as he pulled as hard as he could in the opposite direction and tried to grease the wheels with hand lotion and saliva. And if that weren't a deterrent enough to anyone invading her personal space, her spiky bodice -- the sides of which appear to be barfing chains -- is something I imagine strippers wore in Mordor. It's very overdone and freaky, and I can't BELIEVE she was willing to put up with chains thwacking against her Precious every time she moved.

Perhaps her own accessory put it best:

Continue reading AMA Awards Show Fug: Rihanna.

November 24, 2008

American Music Awards Fug or Fab: Rihanna

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I have kind of grown to love Rihanna. She doesn't always look great, but she never looks boring, and thank god for that. A few months ago, Heather and I were all in a tizzy because she wasn't nominated for the Best Dressed Female Teen Choice Award - well, as much as you can get in a tizzy over something as meaningless as the Teen Choice Awards, which means we spent about six minutes talking about it and then went back to discussing how cute David Boreanez is on Bones or something. But seriously: she's ballsy with the clothes, and I think she's adorable here, even if this IS made out of a napkin:

EXCEPT: Rumor has it that RiRi spend the entire evening desperately trying not to flash people, because this thing was so short (I forgot the AMAs were on, and when someone told me they were, I actually have a moment where I thought we were talking about the American Medical Association, because I hadn't had nearly enough caffeine yesterday).

poll by twiigs.com

August 22, 2008

Fug or Fab: Rihanna

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bad shoes

I have to hand it to Rihanna:

I hate those Balenciaga shoes, but they are -- as Posh would say -- MAJOR. And wearing them out and about on a regular weekday shopping trip with her boyfriend, in Los Angeles, where everyone wears jeans and flip-flops all the time? That takes some balls. And no matter what I think of your clothes, I always have to give it up for balls. Er, so to speak. Mom, I promise I didn't mean that in some kind of dirty, double entendre way. Also: they're last season, so I feel like she must really just love them, and she's not just wearing them -- AGAIN -- so everyone knows she's got them. But I'm interested in your take on this, darling reader. Have at it:

poll by twiigs.com

June 30, 2008

If I Never See Your Fug Again

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jumpsuit,
stripes

It's hard to judge what someone wears to cope with the heat of summer.

But not that hard.

[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

I'm not even sure where one FINDS romper-culottes, unless they popped up in the luggage of a ship that got sucked into the Bermuda Triangle twenty years ago and only just resurfaced last week. Although that could also describe 90 percent of Forever XXI's wares on any given week, so maybe if I weren't so easily frightened away by infinite racks of cotton-spandex minidresses and footless tights, I would have found this there; then, maybe, if I had ALSO recently slipped and cracked my skull on the toilet, right this very second I too could look like a Lands' End catalog model, lounging in my backyard drinking pink lemonade and brushing crumbs from my bag of Combos off my wicked-nifty seersucker onesie. Oh, how different life could be if only I'd gotten a head injury this weekend. I wonder what Rihanna's excuse is.

Rihanna

Disfugia

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Fug Up And Drive

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Unfug It Up: Rihanna

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Fughanna

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Random Fug: Teyana Taylor

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Fug Up And Drive

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AMA Awards Show Fug: Rihanna

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American Music Awards Fug or Fab: Rihanna

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Fug or Fab: Rihanna

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If I Never See Your Fug Again

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