Michelle Williams

So, I have a total soft spot for Michelle Williams. It might be because of the many many many years I spent toiling at the hem of Dawson's Creek, and it might be because every time I see a photo of her out and about with Matilda, I coo to whoever is in close proximity, "she [Matilda] looks just like her Daddy," and then I feel really sad about that whole Heath Ledger thing and ergo protective of the parties involved. Whatever the reason, I am fond of old Jen Lindley and I want her to be happy. But while we all know that outfits can not bring true happiness one way or the other -- although I certainly think they can make you feel MUCH BETTER about things, which is why I own so many pairs of shoes -- let's get to the clothes, anyway, shall we?

The front:

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The back:

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My suspicion is that this is one of those things that you see in person and it's crazy amazing (Cramazing! One of Areosmith's most popular tunes!) and then in photos it looks kind of like it's teetering on the edge of cheesy/chintzy. Like, I wonder if it just doesn't translate. It's a bit like a gladiator has raced in from fighting a lion, or whatever, and then realized that he's TOTALLY running late for Marcus Agrippa's stupid toga party, but if he doesn't go, it will be social DISASTER, so he just throws on his toga and dashes out the door. Which might be what M. Wil was going for. As her former co-star once so memorably announced, I don't know her life. Wait. That's not what he said, was it? Let's go to the tape:

 


OH. Well, close enough.

September 27, 2004

Fugson's Creek

"Sorry I'm late, you guys! My tap class ran late and I didn't have time to change!"

August 11, 2004

Fuggifer Lindley

As the obscure Dawson's Creek reference above indicates to people who read Television Without Pity, this post is about Michelle Williams, whose personal style -- specifically, her hair -- has run the gamut of pleasing me to utterly confounding me to repelling me and ruining her face.

She's got a strange face, this one: Everything on it is overly round, from her chin to her nose-tip and nostrils to her cheeks, a sort of explosion of cherubic elements that can make her either very pretty, or very... balloon-esque. It's the kind of problem that demands meticulous attention so that everything added to her appearance is flattering to the shape of the things she possesses naturally.

Apparently, though, Michelle Williams has decided that the better way to live is: 1) Starring in a gay cowboy movie with Heath Ledger, and subsequently boffing him throughout shooting, which may have contributed to... 2) fugging herself up. [Heath is so uncontrollably fugly lately that I fear she caught it from him.]

Hark! A schoolmarm!

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I expect her to be standing in a one-room school, spanking Anne Shirley's outstretched palm with a ruler, then making her stand in the corner to think about how wrong it was to beat Gilbert Blythe over the head with her slate because he called her Carrots. The brown hair doesn't offend me on its own, but when it matches the clothes she's wearing and the clothes themselves are incredibly drab, well... I just wish someone would reintroduce her to things like "blue" and "red." Colors are not the enemy, Michelle. The Beek was the enemy. But he's gone now. You're safe.

What worries me, too, is that on closer inspection she looks quite haggard:

She looks like she's at her own funeral. Does she know that she only fake died -- that she HERSELF didn't get The Cancer and perish in a hospital bed while the whole Creek mourned? Put down the red wine, Michelle, and go drink some vitamin water.

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A book, huh? Is it just stuff you already put on the Web site?

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