Diane Kruger Archives

May 20, 2009

Fug or Fab: Brad Pitt (with an assist from the Fab Diane Kruger)

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BRAD PITT: Bonjour, Diane.

DIANE KRUGER: You are hilarious.

BRAD: Why, whatever do you mean?

DIANE: The ascot? HILARIOUS. You look so SUAVE. Like you just slithered off your yacht.

BRAD: But you like it when Pacey does this. And I don't have a yacht.

DIANE: Let me put it this way. I didn't say I DIDN'T like it. I said it's HILARIOUS. Pacey also finds it hilarious. I just treasure you, Brad.

BRAD: Angelina laughed when she saw it, too. What's so funny about a well-tied scarf?

DIANE: It's just that...you're so...it's really....let's just say it's charming, and it delights me.

BRAD: Are you patronizing me, Kruger?

DIANE: No! Maybe a little. But I mean it. It's DELIGHTFUL. Can't you see I am delighted?

BRAD: It's costume-y, isn't it? I KNEW IT. Clooney told me it made me look more masculine than I'd ever been.

DIANE: Oh, Brad. Don't trust him.

BRAD: He did also ask when we were sailing to Capri for the season....I thought he meant it. That sounds fun, right? I thought it would be fun.

DIANE: Shhh. You're so pretty.

BRAD: So are you, actually.

DIANE: Oh, I know!

poll by twiigs.com

April 24, 2009

National Treasure: Book of Fugs

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harem pants

I just had the following conversation with Heather:

ME: I think I'm going to fug Diane K in her harem knickers at that Chanel event.

HEATHER: Oh, I haven't seen that yet.

ME: It will not surprise you to hear that she looks okay in them, except that they're essentially kind of stupid pants and nobody really looks ACTUALLY okay in them.

HEATHER: You're right. That does not surprise me.

What else is there to say? These harem knickers are fundamentally ridiculous. They are ridiculous the way the sky is blue. And she does look kind of okay in them, which is not to say that they themselves are at all, in any way, fundamentally okay. Her looking okay in them is a riddle wrapped up in a mystery clothed in an enigma. Too brain-twisty for Friday afternoon, if nothing else, and, ergo, a conundrum I refuse to further contemplate.

April 16, 2009

Well Played, Diane Kruger

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I hope I am not just blinded by the afterglow of seeing how adorable she and Josh Jackson were together at Fashion Week. But I don't think I am -- I think I really just love this on Diane Kruger:

Something about how graceful and lithe she seems to be carries off all the feathers very strongly, the color is lovely and romantic, and the shoes are adorable.

She's becoming a bit like a junior Cate Blanchett for me -- not in the acting sense (if you have ever seen her act opposite Nicolas Cage, you will understand what it must feel like to watch a tree talk to a brick), but in the way that Diane takes big fashion risks that either fail epically or succeed impressively. Plus, both she and Cate carry off with aplomb stuff that would swallow up most other women. For instance, I am certain that if poor old Jessica Simpson wore this, I would wonder if she'd been tarred and feathered -- but seasonally! -- at an Easter Egg hunt. Hell, I am certain that if I wore this, I would wonder the same thing, followed by pondering a quick checkup at my doctor's office for selective amnesia.

On Diane, though? Well played, lady. Now go let Josh cuddle your feathers. You know he wants to so badly.

March 2, 2009

Fug or Fab: Diane Kruger

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blinged out,
yellow

At least Diane Kruger is never BORING. I appreciate that about her. That, and the fact that she often shows up places with Pacey Witter, who is a truly delicious accessory for any girl (or boy). This, for example, is not boring at all:

And while I am not 100% sure I love the color -- it recalls, for me, my mother's washer and dryer set from 1978 -- I do enjoy how very FANCY it is, like something you'd see on the protagonist of an early 80s BBC adaptation of a Russian novel. There's something to be said for that, after all.

poll by twiigs.com

January 30, 2009

Fug or Fab: Diane Kruger

Diane Kruger brings out my indecisive side. One the one hand, I appreciate that she's somewhat avant garde in her choices, and that she not only decorates herself with Pacey Witter but gets him to a) beam goofily with giddy joy, and b) wear an ascot with his suit:

[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

However, I can't help thinking this looks like the neighborhood children caught her trying on the drapes, and punished her with a very strategic TP'ing.

poll by twiigs.com

December 2, 2008

Pour Fug

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Other than the surprise transparency in the back, I did appreciate Diane Kruger's last homage to Grace Kelly. This one, however, leaves me cold:

For one thing, it's SO minimalist that it's desperately plain. She looks like she's on her way to her unassuming third wedding, possibly taking place at City Hall in front of a justice of the peace, with no witnesses except the doorman at her apartment building and a long-lost cousin -- and a honeymoon that consists of dinner at the local Italian joint and a really good book. Also, what's with the lumpy chestal region? If I didn't know better, I'd think she was either strapping them down with an Ace bandage or providing an example to girls everywhere of how NOT to stuff your bra with cotton.

My bigger objection, though, is Diane's apparently raging case of stumpophrenia. Grace Kelly at least managed to look like something of a gazelle in just about everything -- fluid, floaty, willowy even if she wasn't. By contrast, Diane Kruger merely looks like she might be living a life without knees. Kind of like a Peanuts or South Park character, but without the benefit of being fake and having someone who can draw you onto a chair, or whose simple pen-stroke can make you bop along the street without needing to bend your leg. It's tragic. If I didn't know she had killer gams buried under there, I'd be begging you to give generously so this poor soul could realize her dream of knee implants. Maybe Intern George, Ph.D., should counsel her through the tough times. I can see it now: Diane would say, "George, I dream of being able to do Tae Bo!", and he'd be all, "Maybe your destiny is to be a conqueror of the HEART!", and she'd reply, "George, you're so wise!", and he'd quip witlessly, "You wouldn't say that if you saw my roundhouse kick!" And we'd be left wondering why everyone only speaks in exclamation points, and why humor seems to have gone the way of her knees.

October 2, 2008

Fug the Cover: Diane Kruger

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Tatler

I like to think that somewhere in Moscow, my Russian doppelganger is waiting in the checkout line to buy potato chips or whatever and looking at this magazine cover and thinking, "WTF, Diane Kruger?"

You know, in Russian, clearly.

September 12, 2008

The Fug Row

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The following took place between 6:21 p.m. and 6:22 p.m.

HILARY SWANK: Dude is that... John Legend?

DIANE KRUGER: It is. Why is he wearing his tie hanging out over his sweater?

HILARY: I was just going to ask you the same thing! That's so Milhouse to me.

DIANE: I'm not even sure what I'm doing here. I am probably never in my life going to wear Tommy Hilfiger.

HILARY: Yes, you're way too avant-garde for this. Although I noticed you're mixing plaid and polka-dots, so clearly you're finding a way to make Hilfiger weird.

DIANE: And you're wearing a terrible haircut. The Fug Girls are going to make a crack about how it looks like you're going to play Matt Damon in a movie about his rise to fame.

HILARY: Yeah? Well, nice boots, Julia Roberts. Heading out to work the Boulevard later?

DIANE: Oooh, good one, Renee Zellweger.

HILARY: YOU TAKE THAT BACK.

DIANE: Ha ha! Gotcha!

HILARY: My hair looks much thicker than hers, I'll have you know.

DIANE:I really don't understand why you haven't grown it out yet. You can't STILL be playing Amelia Earhart. Nobody needs THAT many takes to get it right.

HILARY: Wow. You are... wow. I have two Oscars. Want to borrow one so that you know what it feels like?

DIANE: Oooh, burn. I'm bored of you, Mr Ripley.

JOHN LEGEND: Damn, you know what would taste good right now? Nachos.

September 12, 2008

Fug or Fab: Diane Kruger's "Well Played" From Earlier

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transparency

Sigh. I know I'm totally late with this, but we saw the pictures RIGHT as we were leaving for Fashion Week, and I was too tired to confront it.

So, you all remember how much I loved Diane Kruger in this, right? Tragically, what I thought was just light catching the skirt lining turned out to be... well, see for yourself:

OH, DIANE. Why is it ALWAYS something with her? It's like every single thing she wears has to make some kind of HUGE conceptual statement. Apparently "Grace Kelly" wasn't enough of a message; it had to be, "Grace Kelly at a pool-party funeral. Wearing a glorified tutu." Doesn't that ever exhaust her? It makes me tired and all I have to do is look at it.

poll by twiigs.com

September 12, 2008

New York Fugshion Week: The Penultimate Day

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delicious photo

How sad am I that security wouldn't let us get anywhere near the front rows at Calvin Klein? For that reason I missed the sassy anecdote that I'm SURE should accompany this photo of Lauren Hutton:

I hope she's saying, "What the hell is with these jumpsuit cuffs? Am I on death row? I DON'T THINK SO."

-- Also at Thursday's Calvin Klein show: Miss Tyra totally stole all the thunder and a paparazzo yelled at Rachel Zoe. I never thought I'd feel bad for her, but lo and behold, my heart grew three sizes that day.

-- We were very concerned that Anna Wintour's longtime boyfriend's daughter might go into labor in the middle of the Vera Wang show. That would make one hell of a review: "So good, my water broke!" Also, does that make Anna a step-grandmother of sorts? I'm sure the very thought gives her the vapors.

-- At Phi, Emmy Rossum wore dominatrix shoes. Also, in typing up that story, I kept mistyping the word "public" as "pubic," and then I would notice the typo and go in to fix it and type "pubic" AGAIN. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

-- Cynthia Rowley tried to kill everyone at her show. She may not have REALIZED that's what was going on, but seriously, anyone who wasn't Julia Stiles or Tatum O'Neal put his or her life on the line just trying to get into a seat.

-- Diane Kruger didn't bring Pacey to Tommy Hilfiger. HOW DARE SHE DO THAT TO US?

Diane Kruger

Fug or Fab: Brad Pitt (with an assist from the Fab Diane Kruger)

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National Treasure: Book of Fugs

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Well Played, Diane Kruger

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Fug or Fab: Diane Kruger

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Fug or Fab: Diane Kruger

Pour Fug

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Fug the Cover: Diane Kruger

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The Fug Row

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Fug or Fab: Diane Kruger's "Well Played" From Earlier

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New York Fugshion Week: The Penultimate Day

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