Aubrey O'Day Archives

August 20, 2009

Aubrey O'Fug

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girl groups

Well, hellfire, you guys: All our Fug Madness winners -- all two of them -- are trying to clean up their acts, and I've got to tell you, with that and the fact that Mischa Barton is off-limits for a while because of her recent and genuinely very alarming involuntary hospitalization, I am feeling quite bereft.

Observe:

Yeah, fine, the shoes kind of look like something you'd wear if you wanted to go clogging at a strip club. And if I hadn't seen so very much of her boobs in the past year, I'd think that was one ineptly stuffed bra. But you guys, it's AUBREY. By her standards, wearing this outfit means she's taken the veil, become Sister Mary Aubrey, and plans to attend vespers all week with Mother Superior. I hope to God Solange Knowles is sitting at home somewhere, looking at this photo, understanding that it means Fug Madness 2010 could be hers, ALL HERS.

But can Aubrey keep it up? Let's see:

Continue reading Aubrey O'Fug.

June 23, 2009

Fug or Fab: Aubrey O'Day

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blue

I haven't seen Fug Madness 09 Winner Aubrey O'Day out and about much of late, which -- now that I think about it -- seems odd. Where on earth could she have been?

Maybe she went shopping? I have to admit, this seems like a step up from her usual. It fits her correctly. The color is pretty on her. It's fairly flattering. Sure, one good tug on the string hanging from her shoulder and the whole kit and kaboodle comes crashing down like a set of incorrectly hung venetian blinds, but that adds some DRAMA to the equation, wouldn't you say?

poll by twiigs.com

April 23, 2009

Aufug Fug'Day

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SWEET FANCY MOSES:

[Photo: Splash News]

I took a little vacay this past week and WHAT A WRETCHED SIGHT TO COME HOME TO OH MY GOD WHY MY EYES MY EYES. Was all the work US Weekly went to giving her that makeunder FOR NAUGHT? Did she think that when SHE won Fug Madness, it was a celebration? IT WASN'T. When you won, Aubs, it was a CENSURE. We think you're a MESS. Not even a HOT MESS. A MESS MESS. THIS OUTFIT HURTS MY WHOLE BODY. I need another vacation.

April 7, 2009

Fugbrey O'Day

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pink

Obviously, central as she's been to Fug Madness 2009, there's been a lot of talk in the comments about whether Aubrey O'Day's wretched outfits are just an attempt to get attention or reflect ACTUAL bad taste.

I'm here to cast my vote for the latter, offering you this photo as proof that even when she appears to be going for "intriguing but not slutty," she lands in a big old pile of terrible:

I strongly suspect this thing cost her $25 in tuition at a really disreputable origami school, located in a strip mall above a Dunkin' Donuts and one of those shops that sells your stuff on eBay. Unless the class was called "Fold Your Way Into Looking Fifteen Pounds Heavier," she really ought to try and get back that cash. The way her singing career seems to be going, she may need it in about six months.

February 17, 2009

New York Fugshion Week, Day 4

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Let me put it to you this way: We saw Aubrey O'Day's breasts before we saw her face, and we suspect that's exactly how she wanted it.

[Photo: Splash News]

I suspect the list of Fug Files above this entry aptly describes our inner monologues when we realized that a) we were standing about six inches from Aubrey, and b) her veiny, protesting boobs were trying frantically to blow that fringed joint. Part of her nipple might have succeeded. And it's just that much more hilarious that Aubrey blithely waved about an autographed copy of her Playboy cover, which is Photoshopped so aggressively and tirelessly that the computer on which it was done has probably put in for an indefinite sabbatical. I would like to believe that it's wry self-awareness, but... it's Aubrey O'Day, so draw your own conclusions.

Aubrey attended Justin Timberlake's William Rast show, and we're not sure which was ruder: Her attire, her use of a dog wrangler, or the fact that Paris Hilton texted and/or did her makeup through most of the presentation.

On an otherwise quiet day, we also spotted some famous faces at Carolina Herrera -- although not all the photographers did. Poor ol' Jessica Stroup was almost ignored, which is a shame, because she didn't look NEARLY as insane as she does on 90210. The girl gets out of the house and away from those head-scarves, and for what? Three cursory pictures and the chance to watch that chick from the MisShapes get all the love? Sigh.

November 3, 2008

Celebrity Fugloween

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Halloween

Halloween is such a phenomenal spectator sport. It must take real skill for people like, say, Paris Hilton or Audrina Patridge to figure out how they can show skin and tease up their hair in a different way that could be construed as a costume. Half the C-list gets dolled up as Sexy Angels, Sexy Devils, Sexy Women In Black Corsets And Random Wigs, and Super-Naked Sexy Take On A Random Profession That Usually Does Not Require Visible Navels; mixed in there, you will occasionally get some awesome costumes, but more often than not it's the type of "Yay, I have an actual excuse to show my bra" stuff that we all did when we were 23.

This time, though, full marks for creativity to Ashton Kutcher. If you doubt that he wears the pants in his marriage, I am here to tell you that he is at least SOMETIMES in full be-trousered control. Because he convinced Demi Moore to go with him in costume... as ,according to our image provider (and I suspect it is correct based on the photo) a GIANT NIPPLE:

[Photo: Splash News]

Not only that, but he convinced her to wear puffy flesh-toned leggings AND made her carry the nipple into the club from the car -- apparently, she was too embarrassed to put on the costume while they were in the street. So instead, she buried her head in the pink felt areola. To HIDE. Granted, yes, this is a woman who once wore bike shorts to the Oscars, but those do not look like the actions of a person who is proud to be a nipple. I wish I'd been a fly on the wall of that conversation, when Ashton was like, "Honey, I have the BEST costume idea. But I need you." And Demi was all, "Mmm-hmm, sweetie, sure, can you pass me Parade magazine? I need to study Nicole Kidman's face." So Ashton went, "THANK YOU. Because a giant nipple pillow cannot be borne by man alone," and Demi was like, "Say WHAT? God, what would Marilyn vos Savant think..." and Ashton frowned and said, "That's funny, Cameron Diaz told me she thought it was brilliant..." resulting in Demi clenching so hard she broke three teeth and then did a shot of bourbon before nodding her agreement. Well played, Ashton. It's deliciously tacky, and yet the fact that you pulled this off kind of makes me cherish you deeply.

Speaking of deliciously tacky:

Continue reading Celebrity Fugloween.

October 16, 2008

Fugbrey O'Fug

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Let's look at the plus side here: SHE LEFT THE DOG OUT OF IT THIS TIME.

WOO! I'm so relieved about that, I almost don't have the energy to care about the rest of what she's wearing. But then I spy the headband, and the cheap-looking top with what appears to be her nipple poking through, and I realize there is still work to do. Clearly, someone needs to throw a How I Met Your Mother-style intervention -- complete with banner, naturally -- to explain to Aubrey why she needs to incinerate her entire wardrobe and then scatter the ashes over the nearest Wet Seal store. Maybe if they invite Barney Stinson, he can use one of his patented fireball tricks to torch the whole thing "accidentally."

October 13, 2008

Making The Fug

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so very loud

"Are you f'ing KIDDING ME?"

"She walks around town like Miss Teen Acid Tip 2008, and I AM THE ONE DRESSED UP AS THE DEVIL? WHERE IS THE ASPCA?"

October 8, 2008

Fuggity Kane

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Oh no:

Somewhere, there is an Obama staffer tasked with writing a very tactful email that essentially says, "OH MY GOD CUT IT OUT YOU ARE NOT HELPFUL." Somewhere, there is a hair dresser who is composing a very kind email that still basically reads, "OMG WHEN YOUR ROOTS ARE THIS BAD DON'T WEAR YOUR HAIR LIKE THAT." And somewhere, there is a very small, overly accessorized dog learning to write so that he can leave Aubrey O'Day a note that explains where he's gone and why he's NEVER COMING BACK.

September 26, 2008

Aubfug Fug'Day

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Well, you certainly can't accuse Aubrey O'Day of failing to declare herself.

She's clearly stating that she's pretty sure if she lets enough boob hang out in the breeze and turns her dog into a walking Sno-Cone, you won't notice she's dressed like a washed-up disco queen who just found out "Swingtown" is not an actual place you can live.

Aubrey O'Day

Aubrey O'Fug

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Fug or Fab: Aubrey O'Day

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Aufug Fug'Day

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Fugbrey O'Day

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New York Fugshion Week, Day 4

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Celebrity Fugloween

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Fugbrey O'Fug

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Making The Fug

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Fuggity Kane

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Aubfug Fug'Day

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