Claire Danes Archives

November 19, 2009

My So-Called Fug

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I seriously do not know how these sort of things continue to happen:

I don't mean that I don't understand why Claire Danes continues to get invited places, or why people perform dramatic, hair-flipping turns toward the camera. I mean...well, you'll see after the jump. It's Not Totally Safe For Work. I mean, it's not FULL-ON unsafe, but I wouldn't email it to your boss or anything. Things are revealed which would be pixelated on network television, is what I mean.

Continue reading My So-Called Fug.

March 18, 2009

My So-Called Fug

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Oh my god, Claire Danes.

I know you're recently engaged, but there's nothing in the etiquette books dictating that you are personally obligated to give all the Mother of the Bride dresses a test run yourself. And if your mother-in-law-to-be told you otherwise....honey, you've got problems brewing. Also, I'd like her to call me. I think we'd get along.

February 25, 2009

Oscar Post-Party Fug: Claire Danes

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Ugh.

When I was a little girl, my grandmother had these pillows in her bedroom that I was OBSESSED with. They were peach, and they were covered in lace, with lace trim. They were VERY feminine and therefore made perfect staging areas on which my Barbies could try and strangle each other -- my Barbies led very dramatic, soap-operatic lives, which is to be expected when there are twenty women fighting over two men, one of whom was ostensibly married (that would be Todd, of the Tracy and Todd wedding set, and he had some issues -- most notably that the rubber band which attached his top half to his bottom half broke when he was dancing too vigorously at his wedding reception, leaving him at worst a paraplegic and at best unable to sit down, depending on the needs of the story I was concocting). Occasionally, my Barbies would commit suicide over something or other, or one would run the other one down with the pink Corvette, or one would get trampled under the hooves of Barbie's horse, Dallas, or one would be tossed down the elevator shaft of the Barbie Townhouse, and when that happened, I often set their bodies down on these pillows for the viewing before the funeral (during which all my other Barbies, as well as said pillow, were swaddled in some excess black lace my other grandma gave me after I told her that I thought it was inappropriate for Barbie and her cronies to be so SMILELY at a funeral, even if one of them was quasi- or wholly responsible for the death). And so this peachy, lacy dress of Claire Danes brings me back to a happy time in my life. A time when I spent hours throwing dolls off the edge of my bed, getting them addicted to pain killers, and dreaming up complex love quandrangles for them (my mother used to let me watch All My Children with her during the summer and apparently, I was paying attention). But while I got great joy out of my Barbie funerals, and the shenanigans that led to them, just so you know, I would never actually want to DRESS LIKE ONE.

September 10, 2008

New York Fugshion Week: Day Five

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just...wow

AHOY MATEYS!

Get ready, ladies! The men of Spring 09 are going all pirate on your ass! Well, at least they will for Betsey Johnson, whose show was the most CRACKED OUT yet, which is saying a lot. Did we mention she had a pirate walk the runway? Tossing out doubloons? Because she DID.

Nothing, really, can top that. But we did go to some other shows:

-- So, NASTIA LIUKIN AND RYAN LOCHTE ARE TOTALLY DATING! We saw them together, it must be true. Also, other people came to Max Azria. Who? We don't know. We're busy picking out what to wear to the wedding.

-- Julianna Marguiles is incredibly gorgeous in person and her husband is wickedly hot. We'd hate her, but she seems so nice. Also at Narciso Rodriguez: Claire Danes (with bitchface) and Jessica Alba, who we suspect is trying to get herself a Vogue cover.

-- What else happened today? Dear reader, we are kind of sleepy right now. Forgive us if this thing is riddled with typos. I only had one Diet Coke today. ONE. I should be on a caffeine drip this week! Oh, right: we saw a very cute Kelly Osbourne at Matthew Williamson, which was also full of really cute dresses.

-- Also full of pretty things? Monique Lhuiller, which also boasted Rosetta Getty (and others), who managed not to scream expletives about Sienna Miller to the thundering heavens, which is more maybe than we could have managed.

August 28, 2008

Fugdust

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Since she's at a Venice Film Festival event for a movie about Valentino, I'm going to go ahead and assume Claire Danes is wearing the designer's dress here. All comments about her uneven cleavage tan and her lemon-sucking smile aside, I'm sure I'm SUPPOSED to find this outfit romantic and girly.

Instead, all it evokes for me is one of those absurdly ornate lines of bathroom objects -- like wastebaskets and toothbrush holders -- that you find in the Target bathroom section with names like Nouveau Luxe or Pink Eden. It's not a good sign when all I want to do is push her head to see if her mouth dispenses hand soap.

August 17, 2006

Stage Fug

CLAIRE DANES: Billy, do you think I look sort of like Gywneth Paltrow with my blonde hair?

BILLY CRUDUP: You wish.

CD: Shut up. Have you seen your mustache? You look like Pancho Villa.

BC: You don't even know who that is.

CD: Hello, he makes Colombian coffee. I've been to Starbucks.

BC: That's Juan Valdez. You're wrong either way, my mustache rocks. It's better than your pants.

CD: These pants are fierce.

BC: Okay, Stumpy McSaddlebags.

CD: Do you want to talk about your shoes?

BC: Do you want to talk about YOURS?

CD: Drop dead. I'm a serious actress.

BC: Yeah, okay. Nice try.

CD: I was the toast of my generation, asshole. Who the hell are you?

BC: Um, you were the toast of your generation like twenty years ago for like five minutes. Are you going to be throwing My So-Called Life in my face for the rest of our lives? All you did was sign up for a show with a good script.

CD: I am UNIFORMLY EXCELLENT in everything I do, asshole. Did you see Little Women? I rocked that.

BC: You're not uniformly excellent in dressing yourself. That shirt makes you look like a shift manager at Islands.

CD: Do you EVER SHUT UP?

BC: DO YOU?

CD: Aren't you glad we risked everything to be together?

BC: Don't I look like it?

Claire Danes

My So-Called Fug

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My So-Called Fug

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Oscar Post-Party Fug: Claire Danes

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New York Fugshion Week: Day Five

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Fugdust

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Stage Fug

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