Katy Perry Archives

June 12, 2009

Waking Up In Fugas

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I'm starting to wonder if Grease was actually a documentary, and Katy Perry's costumer/personal shopper is one of the former Pink Ladies.

[Photo: WENN.com]

Here's hoping it's at LEAST one of the crew from Grease 2 that she's working with -- yes, Rizzo was awesome, but those idiots from the sequel seemed like way more fun. Bursting into song while bowling, learning about plant reproduction, attempting to get it on in an old bomb shelter, AND at gas stations? Running around shouting the correct spelling of "Cool Rider" to nobody in particular? YES. For sheer lunacy that beats a choreographed number at the lunch tables any day.

June 11, 2009

Waking Fug in Vegas

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It's hard to believe that this well-dressed and, frankly, pretty adorable girl is actually Katy "Sushi Leotard" Perry:

[Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Because THIS girl is so cute. Her vest is a little wacky, but she's working it and I love the orange skirt. She looks like the sort of funky but really cute girl who lives down the hall from you and has some kind of wacky business -- she's like a dog-walker or something -- that allows her to sign for packages for you and check on your pets while you're out and you think she's kooky but very trustworthy and she always has a funny story about, like, the time she got caught in a subway train with Bradley Cooper and how it was the best day of her life. You don't know her very well but she's charming and very pretty and you wish her the best. THAT Katy Perry seems like a treat.

Too bad THIS is the Katy Perry we usually have to deal with. BEHOLD:

Continue reading Waking Fug in Vegas.

June 5, 2009

Fugging Up In Vegas

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This photograph was taken last weekend, at Japan's MTV awards, but I put it away and forgot about it -- and now I see why. Clearly, I WANTED to forget.

Yes, undeniably, there is something artsy about the dramatic stripes and the peacock detail, but none of that eradicates the fact that a giant bird is staring me down from the vicinity of her crotch. A giant, legless bird-pod whose feathers are exploding out of Katy's groin. It's like a horribly overwrought metaphor for the plumage she CAN'T show because this outfit has forced her to cover her nethers.

Inside, though, she was back to her old tricks:

Continue reading Fugging Up In Vegas.

May 27, 2009

Fugging Up in Vegas

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Katy Perry is all over the sequins this week, which is not a surprise considering that she actually showed up on American Idol wearing a cape BeDazzled with one of the contestants' names. (Which seemed like it was a bit unfair to the other contestants to me, as well as being potentially kind of awkward for The One Whose Name She BeDazzled -- like, how embarrassing is it to have to turn to your fellow contestant/friend and be like, "I did not know she was going to wear that.") Her appearance on AI, by the way, prompted several conversations with my parents about how they did not know who that Katy Perry person was, but they did not care for her and also, she can't sing as good as that Adam Lambert boy! (My parents loved Adam and made fun of me for thinking Kris was so cute. We talk about Idol a lot in my family. ANYWAY.) It's nice of her, though, to demonstrate for us the high and the lows of sequins. The hills and the valleys. The thrills of sequin victory and the agony of sequin defeat. For example, I think this is rather cute:

It's sassy, it's short, it's sparkly, she's a pop star -- that's all expected and well and good and fine and dandy. The following, however...prepare yourself:

Continue reading Fugging Up in Vegas.

April 13, 2009

I Kissed a Fug and I Fugged It

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"Oh, hey guys,

[Photo: Splash News]

Um, didn't expect to see you here. I'm just running out in my favorite pink leopard print leggings -- everyone's got a pair of THOSE, am I right?! - for a snack! See how I'm using my hot pink satin blazer as kind of a robe? WHO HASN'T DONE THAT, for real, right? Right? So anyway. I'm just running out for a Slurpee. Totally minding my own business. Just felt the need for some Cheetos. And a banana, maybe, or something -- you know, just a quick snack. So, I mean, you totally don't NEED to be taking pictures of me right now. I am not doing anything INTERESTING, really. Just a girl in her hot pink leopard print leggings and favorite old worn-in hot pink satin blazer making a run for the border! Taco Bell, I mean. I'm not actually fleeing the country. Anyway. Just running out for a sec. So....you can go away now. Nothing to see here. I'm not kissing any girls or jumping out of fruit or anything. So, see you later! When I want to see you! Later! That would be later! When it's CONVENIENT FOR ME AND/OR MY PRESS AGENT. GOOD-BYE!"

April 8, 2009

Fug N Cold

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My EYES. SWEET SAUSAGE SANDWICH, my EYES!

[Photo: Splash News]

This is a mind-bending satin collage of every sample picture that has ever come pre-loaded on any computer -- like having a hallucination involving marine life living inside a book of fabric swatches. I don't know whether to call my doctor or change my desktop background.

Apparently, one of the things Katy Perry did in this outfit was go bowling. I will ONLY accept that as logical if her date was this man:

Continue reading Fug N Cold.

February 19, 2009

I Fugged a Girl, and I Liked It

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OKAY, KATY PERRY:

We're ALL LOOKING AT YOU. Are you FINALLY HAPPY? If we all agree that you deserve as much attention as it is possible for the planet to give, will you cease and desist molesting poor innocent Hello Kitty and LEAVE US ALL ALONE FOR FIVE MINUTES? Thank you.

PS: Also, please stop dressing like a banana. It's ruining breakfast and that's nearly all I've got left.

January 19, 2009

NRJ Fug Awards

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I do not know what the NRJ Music Awards actually are -- other than being French, and....involving music -- but I know that any event whose red carpet invokes this expression on Katy Perry's face is A-OK with me:

That's shock with a splash of awe right there. And when you've shocked/awed a woman who has performed dressed as a banana, you've got to be doing something right. Something like this:

Continue reading NRJ Fug Awards.

November 21, 2008

Fug and Fab: Katy Perry

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It's much less lonely knowing I am not the only person out there who doesn't get the fuss over Katy Perry and her shouty singing voice and her addiction to satin hot pants. I still kind of want her to go away. But if she does, at least she'll have left me with an actual fond memory:

[Photo: WENN]

This is lovely. I still kind of want to hike the top up just a little, but otherwise, it's romantic and floaty and dreamy. I am pleased she went minimal with the accessories (except for that.... what, is it a Kleenex tourniquet on her right pointer finger? A ring from a crackerjack box?) and hair, too -- so often, she overdoes it to the point where you forget Katy Perry is a very pretty girl, but here she's letting her face carry it all, and as it turns out, her face is more than capable of being load-bearing. Which might be the strangest compliment I have ever written.

I'm less enchanted by what she wore on stage:

Continue reading Fug and Fab: Katy Perry.

November 7, 2008

MTV Europe Awards Fug: Katy Perry

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I'm learning that I must really not be a fan of Katy Perry. Thanks to my fondness for high camp, most crazy costumey outfits end up becoming so-crazy-they're-amazing, a la Posh or Grace Jones or Bjork. I mean, if you'd asked me in the moment, I'd have told you Bjork's swan dress was pure avian insanity, but now I look back upon it fondly and kind of miss it (and almost went as that for Halloween this year, before deciding it's stuck in a relevance netherworld: too recent not to seem passe, but not old enough to be a cunning throwback).

So, my point is, I usually love unabashed weirdness. And yet any time I see Katy Perry in one of her farcical confections, I just roll my eyes and mutter, "Oh, great. AGAIN? WHATEVER."

Let's start with this one:

Are her boobs SUPPOSED to look like giant, evil green eyes glaring back at me from her torso? Is she TRYING to make a play on that old chestnut where a guy stares at a girl's cleavage and she coos, "My eyes are UP HERE"? Or is it just an ugly dress that looks like someone sewed the bodice out of old shoulder pads? I don't know. But I do know that when the skirt if both wrinkled and a size too tight, it's probably not a very well constructed garment.

And this was the normal thing she wore. Behold the on-stage alternative:

Continue reading MTV Europe Awards Fug: Katy Perry.

Katy Perry

Waking Up In Fugas

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Waking Fug in Vegas

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Fugging Up In Vegas

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Fugging Up in Vegas

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I Kissed a Fug and I Fugged It

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Fug N Cold

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I Fugged a Girl, and I Liked It

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NRJ Fug Awards

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Fug and Fab: Katy Perry

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MTV Europe Awards Fug: Katy Perry

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