Alexa Vega looks fine, right?
A little sexy secretary, a little maitre d', all with a splash of Lindsay Lohan about the face. She's a cutie. I mean, is it the most fashion forward thing you've ever seen? Does it just light your hair on fire with how creative it is? Is it making your face peel off with the blinding power of its awesomeness? No. But may I remind you that the last time we saw Alexa, she was wearing this?
Oh my god, Alexa Vega, NO:
The reader who kindly alerted us to this little piece of lunacy noted rightly that it looks as though shetook a wee little sparkly bodysuit -- like something that would be sold in a store frequented by pageant moms -- and snipped through the crotch so as to make it a shirt. I don't even have words for how very wrong this is. I know she's 20 years old now, and she's certainly turned into a lovely girl, and I'm sure part of her motivation in wearing this is to remind us that she's a grown-up now and all, but the part where it all goes terribly wrong is that an actual grown-up would never wear a doctored red astroturf child-size bodysuit as a top.
Yes, child stars grow up. I know this; I do. But I can't look at Alexa Vega without automatically picturing her from the first Spy Kids film -- which my older sister and I might have rented at Blockbuster a few years ago, but not without being embarrassed of our choice given our age, which led to a loud conversation at the register about whether "little Emma" would enjoy it, or be a brat about it, because "Emma" could be such a pill sometimes, like when she'd had that tantrum where she threw her Legos out the front door. We're not sure the employee believed us, but we were pleased with our chicanery.
At any rate, Alexa was 13 then; she's 18 now, and things happen when actresses hit that age (see: Lohan, Lindsay, The Leggings Obsession and Dilated Pupils Of). But that doesn't mean I have to like it.
And so, I tend not to like it when I see Alexa proudly showing off her baggy, oversized Mickey Mouse tank that would expose boob WERE HER BOOBS NOT APPARENTLY COVERED IN A GOLD LAME BRA, which is peeking out at me cheekily just so that I get hives. Seriously, that belongs on somebody at Spearmint Rhino. Not on her. Don't grow up so fast, Alexa. There's plenty of time for stripper clothes once you're in your twenties!
Founding Fugee Alexa Vega makes a not particularly triumphant return to the pages of Go Fug Yourself thanks to the pants she chose to wear to the premiere of Hilary Duff's sure to be amazing film epic Raise Your Voice:
The shirt? Cute. The shoes? Cute. The hair? Cute. The... pants? Can we even call them pants? Because they look like they used to be jeans, until her ride to the movie broke down by the side of the LA River and she decided to roll them up and wade to the premiere, but she misjudged how high she needed to roll said jeans, or something, so they got all wet and she had to just shove them over her kneecaps and trudge the rest of the way through the sludge, and because she couldn't live with the feeling of Wet Jeans slapping against her leg for the rest of the night, she decided to leave them like that, in all their jean/knicker/demin pantaloon-y glory.
That was not a good call on her part.
A book, huh? Is it just stuff you already put on the Web site?
Nope, we wrote the whole thing fresh, just for you.
Awesome. In that case, I want to read it!
Thank you! Click here to find out all the details!
