Amber Tamblyn Archives

June 10, 2009

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Fug

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"What do you mean these boots aren't flattering? I refuse to believe that."

April 3, 2009

The Fugusuals

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ALEXIS BLEDEL: Okay, Amber, come on, let's go.

AMBER TAMBLYN: No! I'm not done getting my photo taken!

ALEXIS: Trust me. I'm trying to help. Let's just go back to your place and have a bottle of wine.

AMBER: What is your beef? Are you embarrassed about your dress?

ALEXIS: MY dress? I mean, okay, so it's a little unremarkable, but it's not HURTING anyone. Unlike your pants.

AMBER: These pants are bitchin'.

ALEXIS: Those are winter harem pants. Do you hear me? HAREM PANTS. For WINTER.

AMBER: It's a revolution!

ALEXIS: It's ridiculous. If Jeannie dreamed of becoming a lawyer in, like, Milwaukee or something, she'd have ten pairs of those made. But you do not live in an oil lamp.

AMBER: Are they that bad?

ALEXIS: Honey, they give you Grandpa Crotch.

AMBER: ... Okay, let's get out of here.

ALEXIS: Finally.

August 6, 2008

The Sisterhood of the Fuggeling Pants

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How ironic that the girls who could most use a pair of magical, thought-free, perfect-fitting pants are in fact the stars of a movie about a pair of magical, thought-free, perfect-fitting pants.

First up: Blake Lively, who -- let's get this out in the open right now -- is wearing a romper. And yet, despite my distaste for rompers, I almost let her slip by since she seemed to look so generally (and comparatively) adorable.

Almost.

Are we sure this wasn't a dress that she stapled to her underwear so that she wouldn't flash anyone? I realize that putting metal prongs that close to your promised land is not for the faint of heart, but I'm not sure how else to explain the unsightly bunching. Or, perhaps it's that I don't WANT to understand it, because there is no explanation that doesn't make me wince. I guess the bright side is, she has awesome legs to distract people from the crotch crater; hey, when your romper has cleaved to your inner thigh, there had better be SOME kind of silver lining.

poll by twiigs.com

And then there's Amber Tamblyn. First she betrayed our faith with that jumpsuit, and now she's betraying herself with this:

Continue reading The Sisterhood of the Fuggeling Pants.

July 29, 2008

Sisterhood of the Traveling Fug

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jumpsuit

Oh, AmTamb. Please tell me this is some kind of a joke. You seem smart. I feel like you could potentially be the sort of person who would wear a possibly polyester, high-waisted jumpsuit with complicated shoulder holes because you think it's high-larious:

You know, like maybe this is a homework assignment from The Chloe Sevigny School of Ironic Dressing? And this week they're covering Weirdly Dated and Mostly Unflattering, with an emphasis on Shiny? Am I right? You get an A! Now, for the love of little green apples, please change.

October 17, 2007

Sisterhood of the Traveling Fugs

Amber Tamblyn, Halloween isn't for weeks yet! And while it's very flattering to see that you've decided to go as me circa the fifth grade, you've forgotten the Cabbage Patch Kid (named, if I can recall correctly, Aurora Borealis or something of that ilk), my practically endless supply of novelty pencils (most of which smelled like cinnamon) and whatever book I'd brought along to entertain me at whatever fancy boring grown-up event I was apparently attending (Harriet the Spy, probably). Thank goodness you've got time to address this!

March 23, 2007

Sisterhood of the Traveling Fug

Maybe the reason that Amber Tamblyn looks so cranky here is that she just realized that her outfit is really unflattering.

And, Amber, I'm concerned. You seem like you might be fun to hang out with. I suspect that you're the sort of girl who does shots with glee and then gets all rowdy and mildly violent, but in the fun way that involves shoving handsy guys and then yelling at the rest of the bar patrons to mind their own business, not the scary way where you eventually have to get bailed out of the drunk tank. Which begs the question: where are your friends? At some point, I imagine you tried on this look for someone. And that person should have said, "Hmmmm. I don't know if I would wear those TOGETHER." And you would have looked at yourself in the mirror again and said, "really?" And your friend would have said, "Yeah. I think you need a tighter top with that skirt. Or a slimmer bottom with that jacket." And then you would have said, "are you telling me that I look fat?" And your friend would have said, "You don't look FAT. You aren't FAT. No. But these two sort of puffy items kind of hide your waist in a way that isn't super flattering. Do you know what I mean?" And then you would have changed, and while you were in your walk-in closet looking for a tighter top/slimmer bottom, your friend would have thrown those shoes out the window, because three people can wear an ankle strap that thick and all of them are walking on a runway somewhere right now. And because none of this happened, obviously, I am worried about your peeps, Amber. They need to step up and help a girl out sometimes. That's the beauty of girlfriends.

October 13, 2006

Amber Fuglyn

I love Amber Tamblyn. But if Mischa Barton were the headmistress of a School For Sexagenarian Hopefuls, the most popular class would be Kristin Bell's "Add 20 Years In 3 Easy Steps," and Amber Tamblyn would be on the Dean's List en route to that coveted valedictorian spot.

November 7, 2005

Fug of Arcadia, Part 40: Total Surrender

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you couldn't try a bit harder?

Oh, dear. I think we've broken Amber Tamblyn's spirit.

[Photo by Daily Celeb.]

Now, fashion-wise, she had a rough October, I can't deny. Still, I hate to see her flat-out giving up in this manner. I love my hoodies as much as the next girl, but not at a party, and not with brown high-waters and little bow-trimmed black shoes and a purse that looks like her cousin Betty knit it that week she was at jury duty.

We're not intending to pick on you, Amber. We just want to see you happy. Keep at least trying stuff -- that dress you wore to the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants premiere was super ugly, remember? And yet you managed to look hot in it, which is why you didn't appear on this site in that particular outfit -- you rocked something that was hideous on its own merits.

So, buck up, little camper. You can do it. Don't hide your light under a velour ball cap.

October 28, 2005

Fug of Arcadia

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formal shorts

[Photo by Daily Celeb.]

Oh, Amber. Don't even TRY to pretend that before your show wrapped, God came down and whispered in your ear that formal shorts weren't a mortal sin. God knows better. He's smote people for less. Don't be smote. Or smited. Smoted? Regardless, that sort of thing can really mess up a girl's hair.

October 19, 2005

Sisterhood of the Traveling Fug

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I Don't Get It,
WTF

Dear Amber Tamblyn,

We are big fans of you here at GFY HQ. You're so cute! You're not a bobblehead! You're a pretty good little actress! Your Dad was awesome in Twin Peaks, and also clearly knows his way around both a switchblade AND a fan kick, thanks to his work in West Side Story, and God knows, we have no beef with genes like that. Finally, you clearly respect the power of properly fitting trousers, as saluted in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, a movie that absolutely did not make any of us cry, not once.

However. This is a problem:

[Photo courtesy of Daily Celeb]

Tragically, it gets worse:

Continue reading Sisterhood of the Traveling Fug.

Amber Tamblyn

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Fug

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The Fugusuals

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The Sisterhood of the Fuggeling Pants

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Sisterhood of the Traveling Fug

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Sisterhood of the Traveling Fugs

Sisterhood of the Traveling Fug

Amber Fuglyn

Fug of Arcadia, Part 40: Total Surrender

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Fug of Arcadia

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Sisterhood of the Traveling Fug

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