Chloe Sevigny Archives

November 16, 2009

Love Fug

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I've just spent like twenty minutes staring at Chloe Sevigny here:

The only conclusion that I've reached is that I would have LOVED this outfit when I was eight years old. Smocking, AND glitter, AND puffed sleeves!?! (Like Anne Shirley, I found puffed sleeves to be the height of sophistication as a youth.) A color palette complimentary to my Lemon Meringue doll? A faint whiff of Figure Skater to the entire undertaking. Sold! Sold for two weeks worth of allowance and six Scratch 'n' Sniff stickers to 3rd Grade Jessica!

November 16, 2009

Who Fugged It More: Zoe Saldana or Chloe Sevigny

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You know what's embarrassing?

Going out without remembering to button your top.

You know what's even MORE embarrassing?

Continue reading Who Fugged It More: Zoe Saldana or Chloe Sevigny.

September 21, 2009

Emmy Awards Well Played: Chloe Sevigny

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polka dots,
yellow

You guys, I know this may rock you like a hurricane, but: I think The Sev might've been one of my favorites from last night.

Love the dots, like the yellow slip underneath that gives it an ethereal sheen, love the hip brooch... not sure what to make of the hair -- is it edgy, or just lazy? -- but at least it doesn't distract from her dress or look like a mangy rope of fake tresses borrowed from an old Star Trek movie (ahem, Blake Lively's Braid Thing).

And my good will is so robust that I might even be okay with this:

Continue reading Emmy Awards Well Played: Chloe Sevigny.

July 30, 2009

Fug or Fab: Chloe Sevigny

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Sometimes I like to just post these and make you vote without saying ANYTHING that could possibly bias you to vote either with or against me.

So I will just state a fact -- that C. Sev's legs are SERIOUSLY GREAT and her trainer needs to write a book -- and open your polling place:

poll by twiigs.com

July 14, 2009

Fugloe Fugigny

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Why is Chloe Sevigny wearing a leather jumpsuit that's tight in the legs but really baggy in the pelvis?

[Photo: WENN.com]

I know, I know -- why does Chloe Sevigny do ANYTHING. But this thing seems specifically designed for the superhero in your family who suffers from a leaky bladder and thus depends on Depends. Sev's right boob, which is making a break for it, has the right idea in trying to escape before this Captain Incontinence thing takes off and turns into a side life.

June 30, 2009

Fugloe Fugvigny

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I am experiencing some serious fugja-vu here, courtesy of Chloe Sevigny:

Aside from still having legs and a shoe closet to die for, Chloe apparently also has this ensemble in more than one shade of bland. Because you never know when you'll need TWO blazers with scalloped skirts that always catch in your crotch and either make people wonder if they're culottes or create unfortunate wrinkles that point right up your fun zone. I mean, it only makes sense: It's CLEARLY blasphemy to wear the ecru at night, so of course you'd keep one in your closet that's a more thrilling beige hue, or perhaps a daring latte-tinged flavor of khaki -- you know, a tan that really brings your new blood-orange colored lipstick and the kaleidoscope of sequins you've sewn to an old ballet leotard. I'm so pleased Chloe understands these kinds of nuances.

June 24, 2009

The Fug Bunny

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denim abuse

Oh, please, sister. Is this all you got?

[Photo: WENN.com]

Short shorts last seen on Tobias Fünke and uncombed hair? That's IT? That's all you got? Please. If time-travel were possible, the Chloe Sevigny of 2004 would storm over there and kick you in the shins for delivering such weak sauce. Get back to me when you're wearing a sombrero and a skirt made of coffee filters. Otherwise, stop wasting my time.

June 3, 2009

Big Fug II: The Big Fuggenning

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Uh-oh.

I wondered if Chloe's appearance yesterday was the harbinger of more crazy craziness from Ms Sevigny. And now it appears my question has been answered. And apparently the answer is: HELL YES. To which I say: BRING IT ON, SISTER. I can take your super shorty short shorts and your tonsorial salute to Donald Trump's majestic comb-over. I relish them. I am READY for them. I HAVE MISSED THEM. I command you to look at the events on your social calendar for this summer and devote yourself to wearing the bat-shit-craziest things you can find to each of them. Out-do your past self. Show those wackadoo upstarts like Katy Perry and Aubrey O'Day how it's REALLY done. I mean it. This summer. You and me. Fugger v. fuggee. Your assignment is to veer drastically between wearing, like, a bucket as a tube top one day and looking wildly hot the next, and mine is to tell the internet my deeply conflicting feelings about you. Just like in the olden days. Seriously. Keep making the rounds. I promise you, it's going to be awesome.

June 2, 2009

Big Fug

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THIS IS SO EXCITING. No, I mean it. Chloe Sevigny isn't out and about as much as she used to be, and I started to miss her. She's reliable -- either she looks CRAZY or she looks AMAZING, and that's all I really ask for. Something really wretched and terrible, something utterly batshit crazy, or FABULOUSNESS. Or the trifecta of all three at once. This doesn't quite hit all points, but it IS delightful in its own way:

Who else would come out of the house looking like Mary Poppins from the waist up, and Leggs McGee from the way down? I mean, as far as I recall, there is NOT a scene in Mary Poppins where she goes out for a date with Bert in a rather scandalous -- yet still demure -- shorts suit, but maybe Chloe here is angling for an updated version. In her iteration of the Disney classic, "A Spoonful of Sugar" is mashed up with "Pour Some Sugar On Me" while Mary cavorts on top of a horse and buggy, and "Jolly Holiday" is actually remixed with Madonna's "Holiday" while Mary takes Jane and Michael out to buy cone bras. I can almost read my angry letter now.

April 24, 2009

Fug or Fab: Leighton, Chloe, and Kate

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At the Chloe store opening last night, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that most of the celebrity invitees were clothed in the label's outfits, especially since many of them had the same shoes on or similarly cut things. But as I'm fond of pointing out, you can always say no to something if it's sort of blah. Ergo, onward we press.

First up: Leighton Meester, wearing something that almost gave me a heart attack because initially I thought it was the same thing Aubrey O'Day had on here. But then I realized that, no, Leighton got her hands on the expensive and better-made version:

Those shoes are crazy, but also sort of beautiful -- I appreciate them as art, but can't help thinking they look a little clunky on an actual foot. Still, they're the least of my issues: Now that Leighton's hair is lightened, her skin is self-tanned a little more, her outfit is a fleshy peach-orange color, and she's enrolled in the Emily Deschanel School of Undereye Makeup That Makes You Look Exhausted All The Time, La Meester no longer really pops. Everything kind of blends together. Not to mention that the waistline and giant tie on that skirt reminds me of a pair of shorts I REALLY LOVED back in fifth grade. But I appreciate where the whole thing was going, and although this is faint praise indeed, she certainly could look a lot worse. And my other question is, if Aubrey O'Day wore the Designer Imposter version of this outfit first, does it ruin anything this one is trying to do?

Next up: The Sev.

Continue reading Fug or Fab: Leighton, Chloe, and Kate.

Chloe Sevigny

Love Fug

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Who Fugged It More: Zoe Saldana or Chloe Sevigny

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Emmy Awards Well Played: Chloe Sevigny

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Fug or Fab: Chloe Sevigny

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Fugloe Fugigny

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Fugloe Fugvigny

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The Fug Bunny

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Big Fug II: The Big Fuggenning

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Big Fug

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Fug or Fab: Leighton, Chloe, and Kate

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