Emmy Awards Archives

September 3, 2009

Daytime Emmy Awards Random Fug: Rachel Zeskind

Fug file:

It's little wonder I've never heard of Rachel Zeskind.

Until today, no one had seen hide nor hair of her since her job as the hostess at the incredibly ill-conceived and unpopular Sea World Sushi Lounge.

September 2, 2009

Daytime Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Lesley-Anne Down

Fug file:

It seems Lesley-Anne Down is using a headband to hide her weirdly delineated hair.

Fortunately, though, she is not hiding her Crazy.

She looks like she's posing for Mrs. Peacock on a new set of Clue cards. Parenthetically, I never did understand why Mrs. Peacock in the movie wore orange, because peacock generally refers to a shade of blue, yet Eileen Brennan was decked out in fall-foliage colors. Not that I would ever, EVER question that movie, because it is perfection. But I approve of this as a secondary option: It's costumey, it includes a purse that could conceal a gun one might use to shoot a singing-telegram girl, the gloves would leave no fingerprints, and all that ruching might ably hide the contours of a sinister wrench stuffed in a lady's underclothing. So, you know: Everything a girl needs for a rainy night out on the town in a mysterious house.

September 1, 2009

Daytime Emmy Awards Fab or Fug Carpet: Tatyana Ali

Fug file:

First and foremost, I think we can all agree that Tatyana "Ashley Banks" Ali grew up to be super gorgeous.

But let's talk about her dress. I kind of can't figure it out. Like...literally. It's sequined....right? And....sort of striped? Or that's just how she's standing? And if so, does it vaguely resemble newsprint? And if so, is that still okay? Or is what looks like a pattern actually just reflections of the light combined with the way she's standing? Or are they a sort of Rorschach test-esque pattern in which I keep seeing a sports bra, and if so, does that mean my subconscious wants me to work out more? Or does any reference to The Fresh Prince just act as a flimsy excuse for me to post this?

(YouTube has yanked the sound from that video, but you KNOW what song is playing. Hum it at work.) You be the judge.

poll by twiigs.com

September 1, 2009

Daytime Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Jacqueline MacInnes Wood

Fug file:

Jacqueline MacInnes Wood plays Steffy Forrester on The Bold and The Beautiful and when I explain what has happened to Steffy in her short life you will easily understand why B&B won best Daytime Drama on Sunday night.

It seems she:

Has fallen off a boat and been presumed eaten by sharks
Has been held captive by her father's ex.
Was held captive AGAIN by the same ex.
Was saved from said ex -- who was then committed to an insane asylum -- by her father, who drove his car through a building to do it.
Has to deal with being the child of a man who not only is apparently a reckless driver, but who also has been married eight times to three women
Lost her mother in a brutal murder that of course turned out to be just a misunderstanding
Was conveniently sent to boarding school so she could Rapidly Age
Lost her twin sister who died in a car accident the night of their father's rehearsal dinner (I am so sure she's actually dead. You could burst into flames on a soap and then have your head cut off and they can bring you back) and realized this solely thanks to her Magic Psychic Twin Power
Appears to be engaged to her own step-uncle who once tried to marry her mom. I think. This show is CONFUSING. I totally have to start watching.

Seriously, the fact that her skirt is made out of cupcake liners is totally the least of her problems.

August 31, 2009

Daytime Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Rachel Melvin

Fug file:

Misunderstandings can be so uncomfortable.

For instance, this dress is clearly what happens when someone says, "Aw, send a corsage to the widow," and a minion accidentally hears, "Send a corset to the widow," and then all of a sudden some bereaved lady puts a dress on eBay that looks like she's wearing her grief on her chest, and a soap star smells a bargain. I call that story Not Without My Eulogy: Mother, May I Sleep With The Fishes?, and I am selling it to Lifetime, stat.

August 31, 2009

Daytime Emmy Awards Unfug It Up: Molly Burnett

Fug file:

green,
soap stars

Ah, a girl's first Daytime Emmy Awards. Such a special, unforgettable time.

Special because she gets to go and mingle with industry luminaries -- and they DO EXIST, people; Susan Lucci does not get to be the personification of Awards Show Failure by being a dim light in entertainment -- and unforgettable because someday Molly will look at this photo and think, "Well. Whoever suggested I hide the dirt on my hem by pinning the outer layer to my underpants was an IDIOT." The poor kid also suffers from Boobs Akimbo Syndrome and its dastardly relative, Wonky Waist Detail Disease. I'll see her name-calling of the person who suggested this outfit, and raise her a serious finger wagging at whoever unlocked the limo doors.

What would you do to fix this, Fug Nation? I think the silly second hemline should be nixed, and then it needs refitting along the bust. I also might get rid of the studded waist, because it looks kind of like a cheap bracelet you'd buy at an open-air stand along a beach boardwalk. But that's just one idea. Put on your Rachel Zoe caftans and have your way with this outfit. You know the rules: Stay on topic, be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes.

August 31, 2009

Daytime Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Debbi Morgan

Fug file:

I love Debbi Morgan. LOVE HER. I totally remember way back in the day, the first time she played Angie on All My Children, she and Jesse were this amazing super couple and then -- conveniently while I was home from school on summer vacation -- Jesse got shot and DIED and Angie totally cried over his dead body in this hospital and EVERYONE ELSE cried too, including my mother who -- if I remember correctly -- was doing some ironing at the time. It was even more upsetting than the time Jenny Gardner's jet ski exploded. So when she and Darnell Williams, who played Jesse, came back to AMC this year, I was very excited because I LOVE them, and then I sort of started watching All My Children again, which is great because I totally don't watch enough television. But despite my mad love for Debbi, I do wish she'd worn....something that wasn't this:

This looks like a parachute that didn't properly deploy. Which I honestly can't believe I haven't seen happen on MORE soaps. Flinging someone out of a plane with a non-working parachute is just as awesome as tossing them down an elevator shaft or locking them in an abandoned mine, but also, unfortunately for Debs, said parachutes are not very flattering.

I will, however, let it slide, mostly because talking about Debbi Morgan has allowed me to segue into a brief discussion about her other gig, which was acting as a judge on the DEEPLY MISSED SOAPnet reality series, I Wanna Be A Soap Star, which was possibly one of the most hilarious and amazing shows on TV and I'm actually not really being all that sarcastic. That show was insanely entertaining and I am sort of distraught that it seems to be no more. It was -- as perhaps you can imagine -- a reality show in which people competed for a thirteen week gig on a soap opera. Every week, contestants would be, like, throwing drinks in each other's faces or making out or pretending to be in an effective coma. And they all had to live, literally, in like a cell at CBS Radford or something and it was AWESOME. Some of the contestants actually went on to get legitimate daytime acting gigs, and then I just saw one of them in the background of an episode of Millionaire Matchmaker, so....the talent was varied, is what I am saying. And I really need them to bring it back. They can totally use my parachute plot point, for free.

August 31, 2009

Daytime Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Winsor Harmon

Fug file:

Listen, Winsor. I'm sorry you've had no screen time lately except to disapprove of your father's relationship with a really young blonde (which, also, get over it, Thorne Forrester: your father lives for sleeping with young blondes, one of whom both he and your brother married and whom you also slept with, an act which forced your ex into a presumed death [she was not dead; she came back to life later, only to be killed for real by a falling chandelier]). But lack of attention from your bosses is no excuse for this:

Wearing a suit that shiny is NOT going to convince the writers that your character's future is so bright, they have to wear shades. Instead, they're going to turn their heads, wince, and possibly run away every time they see you coming, because the sheer amount of light bouncing off that thing is headache-inducing.

You'd have been better off doing this:

Continue reading Daytime Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Winsor Harmon.

August 31, 2009

Daytime Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Bree Williamson

Fug file:

purple,
soap stars

Bree Williamson plays a character on One Life To Live who has multiple personalities. What I didn't know is that she herself has a few alter-egos. One is that of a soap actress...

... and one is that of a woman who runs the Renaissance Faire's most popular food stands, Francis Bacon-Wrapped Hot Dogs, Ferdinand Magell-O Shots, and of course the nationally renowned Hieronymus Borscht.

August 31, 2009

Daytime Emmy Awards Fug or Fab: Stacy Haiduk

Fug file:

Sweet Mary Jane, I love the Daytime Emmys. For one, I love soaps, and for another, it gives all these people who work tirelessly to make sure that we can still watch characters coming back from the dead, or marrying their way through an entire extended family, or trying to make themselves temporarily blind by injecting Botox into their [WORD REDACTED TO AVOID CAUSING ME SEVERE MENTAL TRAUMA].

And speaking of Mary Jane, this lady -- Stacy Haiduk -- plays a character on The Young and the Restless by that name.

Now, Mary Jane is really Patty Williams, who had good old-fashioned face-changing surgery so she could skulk into town pretending to be someone else and wreak havoc on her enemies, and also executed a good old-fashioned "drug a dude so he'll think you're someone else, sleep with you, and get you pregnant" scheme. And so even if I hate what she's wearing, this is probably the perfect thing for Ms. Haiduk's character: We can see her villainous nipple shields, and she's wearing truly evil semi-detached beaded sleeves, all of which make her look like a classic overdramatic soap villainess who likes to throw gala parties at which everyone drinks punch spiked with hormones and a dead body falls out of a cake (so, you know, your typical Labor Day barbecue).

But in aligning fashion and fiction, I'm thinking maybe Stacy shouldn't have gone QUITE so far. For instance, she brought her co-star:

Continue reading Daytime Emmy Awards Fug or Fab: Stacy Haiduk.

Emmy Awards

Daytime Emmy Awards Random Fug: Rachel Zeskind

Fug file:

Daytime Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Lesley-Anne Down

Fug file:

Daytime Emmy Awards Fab or Fug Carpet: Tatyana Ali

Fug file:

Daytime Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Jacqueline MacInnes Wood

Fug file:

Daytime Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Rachel Melvin

Fug file:

Daytime Emmy Awards Unfug It Up: Molly Burnett

Fug file:

Daytime Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Debbi Morgan

Fug file:

Daytime Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Winsor Harmon

Fug file:

Daytime Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Bree Williamson

Fug file:

Daytime Emmy Awards Fug or Fab: Stacy Haiduk

Fug file:

Search

Fug Favorites

Featured Fugger

The Book of fug

Subscribe to GFY

Featured Brands

Featured Searches