Emmy Awards Archives

June 24, 2008

Daytime Emmy Awards Fug-or-Fab Carpet: Heather Tom

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Hot on the heels of Christian Siriano dressing Whoopi Goldberg from the Tonys, Project Runway's Jack Mackenroth -- who might've made it to the end alongside Christian, had he not dropped out for health reasons -- designed Heather Tom's dress for the Daytime Emmys.

Now, you may be thinking to yourself, "Hmm. I was SURE Heather was wearing all black when she did her presenting duties alongside Jack Wagner." True story; the fact that Heather scheduled a costume change may not bode well for how she felt about what Jack did for her on the red carpet:

I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it, either. The color is certainly fetching on her, but the rest of it feels totally overdone, right down to the fact that all those busy ruffles appear to be made out of a fabric that has shiny flowers on it. The bodice in particular seems a bit shaggy and shapeless, as if every time she takes a step it's going to start flapping.

I liked Jack well enough -- I was amused by his homage to Flashdance -- so I'm sort of bummed that he didn't blow me away. For her to drop it like a hot potato and go practically Goth on us halfway through the night, right down to blood-red lipstick and smoky eyes, makes me wonder if she wasn't a little bummed too. Although to be fair, Heather had also lost her category by that point to the unstoppable Emmy train that is Michael Landon's daughter, and she looked pretty pissed about it; maybe the darker look was a pre-planned "No, it's NOT fun just being nominated, THANK YOU VERY MUCH" outfit of bitter disappointment.

poll by twiigs.com

June 23, 2008

Daytime Emmy Fug Press Room: Jack Wagner

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When I first saw this picture, I said, "ooh, Jack Wagner!" Then I took a closer look and said, "OH. JACK WAGNER."

A velvet jacket? A quasi-mullet, blown out to womanly perfection? What looks like potentially (and ALLEGEDLY) excessive Botoxery? Let's go to the close-up:

Continue reading Daytime Emmy Fug Press Room: Jack Wagner.

June 23, 2008

Daytime Emmy Fug Carpet: Tyra Banks

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Over the past several years, I have had many different feelings about Tyra Banks, ranging from, "This show is brilliant," to, "Oh my god, is Tyra singing?" to, "Her wig is spectacular today." And yet until now I never looked at her and thought, "Is Ty-Ty Baby matching her hair to her dress?"

During recent election coverage, political strategist/super delegate/talking head Donna Brazile explained her role in the Democratic party to Anderson Cooper by saying, "I wear many wigs." As does Tyra (literally and figuratively). She runs her own media empire, but also teaches young women everywhere the importance of elongating the neck. She is a failed pop star, but also a super successful talk show host. She has provided countless hours of Top Model marathons, artfully constructed to destroy weekend productivity around the world, but also suffers from a debilitating fear of dolphins. But one wig I'd never thought I'd see her take on was the one of the woman who matches her hair to her dress. Tyra! You're many things, but bland is not supposed to be one of them!

June 23, 2008

Daytime Emmy Fug Carpet: Well Played, Eva Whatever

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ANTM,
soap stars

Back when she won ANTM, she was Eva Pigford, and she was sporting a hideous blonde haircut courtesy of Tyra's minions. But now, she's Eva Marcille, recent signee to a contract role on The Young and the Restless -- which is incredibly boring these days despite the fact that I just realized this is the third post today on its cast members' outfits -- and guest at the Daytime Emmys. I'm rather relieved to say that Eva The Diva classed it up nicely for the occasion.

I can say from experience that Eva Pigford is not a tall person, and presumably Eva Marcille has not gotten shin extensions; ergo she's done a great job picking a dress that is not only pretty but which lengthens her. And thank GOD, she's kept the hair darker, which suits her better. The accessories are perfectly subtle. In all, this is rather a success -- made sweeter, I'm sure, by the fact the rival she bested in that season's finale, Yaya, seemingly did not attend the Emmys despite having been a contract regular on All My Children for weeks longer. Here's hoping that their two daytime gigs intersect in a deliciously bitchy continuation of their ANTM feud, leading to a Tyra Banks Show episode in which Miss T has to moderate their sniping and ends up flipping her weave on both their sorry asses. In fact, maybe that has been the plan all along. Tyra, you madcap genius you.

June 23, 2008

Daytime Emmy Fug Carpet: Megan Ward

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Megan Ward, who plays a fashion-magazine guru (and mob girlfriend) on General Hospital, has sported a series of cute bobs that help her exude an effortless cool most of the time even when she is really stupidly costumed (which is rather often, given that sometimes she looks more Sophia Petrillo than Anna Wintour). So I was very disappointed that she went a bit off the rails this year at the Emmys:

It's an Everything But The Kitchen Sink outfit: There's the giant yellow necklace, the gray-blue dress, the furry black bag, the gold cankle-inducing pumps, trendy brown belt that sticks out like a sore thumb because it's fighting with the dress, and the scary hair with her bangs sticking up like she's starring in the straight-to-video sequel There's Something About Megan. In a way it reminds me of those crazy old '70s salads -- you know, the ones that are a deranged-sounding mixture of stuff like, say, mini-marshmallows, celery, almonds, pineapple, carrots, and Jell-O, and served in a bundt mold with a star on the top. I'm sure she'd rather have been Too Trendy For Words, as opposed to a walking ambrosia salad, but hey -- I guess there's a reason you can still find it in your supermarket's deli section. SOMEONE must want a quart.

poll by twiigs.com

June 23, 2008

Daytime Emmy Fug Carpet: Jeanne Cooper

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In her 35 years on The Young and the Restless, 80-year old Jeanne Cooper and her character have: had a real, on-air facelift; discovered that the younger blood rival (Jill) who bore her husband's child was actually her daughter; had a stroke and became catatonic when she learned that, which meant she was too incapacitated to prevent her granddaughter from unknowingly marrying her cousin; patched things up with Jill; and finally, suddenly unlocked the memory that an alcoholic and jealous haze years ago caused her to switch the Jill's aforementioned newborn -- by now, grown-up and long dead -- with another baby, who was still alive, living in Genoa City, and a deadly hot Australian dude. She also won her first-ever Emmy on Friday.

Given all that.... what the hell. She can wear whatever she wants, even if she does look one card short of a full tarot deck.

June 23, 2008

Daytime Emmy Fug Carpet: Raya Meddine

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When I saw that Raya Meddine from The Young and the Restless attended the Daytime Emmys, I wondered why I hadn't seen what she was wearing during the red-carpet telecast.

Now I know why: She's only SORT OF wearing anything.

It has been suggested by many a soap-opera fan forum that Raya -- while clearly blessed with some striking DNA -- is, shall we say, dragalicious and/or manly. In that sense I suppose this outfit was well-chosen, because there is no room for any secret business up in her boardroom, if you know what I mean. She is clearly not carrying a surprise package. Not bringing a wang casserole to your pot-luck.

But even so, it's kind of shocking to me -- reminiscent of the year Teri Hatcher showed up at the Grammys dressed like a Goth hooker, but more tragic and desperate. And you haven't even SEEN the back yet. Want to? Of course you do.

Continue reading Daytime Emmy Fug Carpet: Raya Meddine .

September 18, 2007

Emmy Parties Fug Carpet: Rachel Griffiths

We hold this particular truth to be self-evident: that the Cocktail Party in the Front/Charity Ball in the Back mullet gown is rarely as flattering as either of those silhouettes would be on their own. It is likewise true that if you're going to rock the mullet -- either on your head or your body -- it is a prerequisite that you COMMIT to it, making it clear to on-lookers that you're PROUD of your multi-level wonder and that if they don't like it, that's THEIR untold tragedy.

Whereas Rachel Griffiths here just seems to be thinking, "if Jeremy Piven steps on my train ONE MORE TIME, so help me God, I'm going to slap the eyeliner right off his face. Now take my damn picture."

September 18, 2007

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Laura Bennett

We here at GFY HQ would like to congratulate Project Runway's Laura Bennett on being the valedictorian of her graduating class at The Macy Gray School of Shameless Self-Promotion.

Like the skirt. Love the hair. Covet the genes that let her be that trim after popping out six children. Wouldn't refuse the earrings. And might want the whole shebang if she hadn't turned the top into a vexing, iridescent flesh-toned billboard. Google can't confirm for me whether "Dress Like You Mean It" is the slogan of her and Nick Verreos' MSN Style Studio project [edited to say: it apparently is, and these fabulous boys said Laura and Nick were each asked to wear the slogan somehow, so maybe this is her way of saying, "That is such an annoying request that I will get all up in their faces with it," which would be funny and reinforce my love of her. But let's keep going here as if I never found any of that out], or if it's just a mantra that came to her while she was meditating in her closet in a brief moment away from her rowdy boys.

It's certainly an incredibly vague piece of advice, open to many varied and terrible interpretations. If I go to the supermarket in Crocs, an evening gown, and leggings placed jauntily on my head, is it acceptable as long as I MEANT to look like Joan Rivers' court jester? If Tim Gunn decides to wear jellies and a skirt made of ties on any day other than Halloween, is it all good simply because he fully intended to spent the day as a tragic tribute to From Justin To Kelly? What if Mandy Moore -- Heaven forbid -- decided to forego panties and then slide sloppily out of a limo, all because she really MEANT to welcome the world into her labial folds? Does the fact of her intent make it okay?

I am not sure I can live in that world. Well, except maybe the one where Tim Gunn not-so-secretly digs From Justin To Kelly, because then we can get together and talk about why anyone in the world would be wooed by a series of text messages made up of very few actual words. Otherwise, though, I'm out.

poll by twiigs.com

September 17, 2007

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Paula Abdul

I realize that Paula's dress is like this on purpose. I do. And in theory, I don't disapprove.

But in practice, it's PAULA ABDUL. She has to know that, simply by dint of being Paula Abdul, people would take one look at this and blindly assume not that her dress was designed that way, but rather that she was too busy drinking butterfly tears from the hoof of a centaur to know that her sparkly undergarment was showing. And when you're Paula Abdul, surely at this point you are tired of people staring at you with furrowed brows, wondering things like whether you can complete a sentence, or if anyone in your inner circle thoughtfully dosed you with mind-altering drugs to erase the memory of your vanity-project reality show. SURELY, given ALL that, you would want to wear something safe, something that couldn't possibly make anyone leap to the conclusion that you are in a constant state of confusion.

Then again... well, I said it already: It's PAULA ABDUL. Nothing is certain except that she enjoys how you've grown, both with your soul and in your cup of Coca-Cola that the angels rained onto your heart. Plus, at this point, it's possible she can't wear anything without us finding a reason to scratch our chins and ponder her clarity of mind. We should probably be content with the fact that she's fully clothed and didn't have any lines during the telecast.

Emmy Awards

Daytime Emmy Awards Fug-or-Fab Carpet: Heather Tom

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Daytime Emmy Fug Press Room: Jack Wagner

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Daytime Emmy Fug Carpet: Tyra Banks

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Daytime Emmy Fug Carpet: Well Played, Eva Whatever

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Daytime Emmy Fug Carpet: Megan Ward

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Daytime Emmy Fug Carpet: Jeanne Cooper

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Daytime Emmy Fug Carpet: Raya Meddine

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Emmy Parties Fug Carpet: Rachel Griffiths

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Laura Bennett

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Paula Abdul

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