It's that time again, folks. On this Freaky Fug Friday, it's time to punch your ticket and ride the Phoebe Price Is Crazy Train.
[Photo: Splash News]
THE FUGEE: Phoebe Price, a person of dubious talent who "acts"; former GFY persona non grata turned GFY mascot (because she wore down our resistance).
THE DETAILS: Phoebe here was, as usual posing on Robertson Blvd., this time with her dog, which she has forced to wear a small Santa hat (and... is that a velour sweater on it, too? Oh, PHOEBE). Tragically, her garb isn't as insane as it usually is, but she is still Phoebe, and that's enough.
THE CHALLENGE: Listen, we think it's wrong to deal with Christmas before Thanksgiving, but we're also not the ones who put a Santa hat on a dog. So: Have at Ms. Price here by parodying the holiday song of your choice, be it a Christmas carol, a Chanukah tune of either traditional or Sandlerian nature... it's up to you. And you don't need to do the entire song; just do enough that we get the gist, and include the title of the actual song you're parodying, because you never know. Somebody might never have heard "Deck The Halls." Kids today, man, I'm telling you.
THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments section of this entry -- not e-mailed -- by 10 p.m. Sunday night. From there, we pick our faves, put 'em to a vote... you know the drill.
[Photo: Splash News]
THE FUGEE: Phoebe Price, a person of dubious talent who "acts"; former GFY persona non grata turned GFY mascot (because she wore down our resistance).
THE DETAILS: Phoebe here was, as usual posing on Robertson Blvd., this time with her dog, which she has forced to wear a small Santa hat (and... is that a velour sweater on it, too? Oh, PHOEBE). Tragically, her garb isn't as insane as it usually is, but she is still Phoebe, and that's enough.
THE CHALLENGE: Listen, we think it's wrong to deal with Christmas before Thanksgiving, but we're also not the ones who put a Santa hat on a dog. So: Have at Ms. Price here by parodying the holiday song of your choice, be it a Christmas carol, a Chanukah tune of either traditional or Sandlerian nature... it's up to you. And you don't need to do the entire song; just do enough that we get the gist, and include the title of the actual song you're parodying, because you never know. Somebody might never have heard "Deck The Halls." Kids today, man, I'm telling you.
THE RULES: All entries must be posted in the comments section of this entry -- not e-mailed -- by 10 p.m. Sunday night. From there, we pick our faves, put 'em to a vote... you know the drill.
To the tune of the Chicago Bears' "Super Bowl Shuffle," featuring William "The Refrigerator" Perry:
Katy's queen of the Fugly Crew
Wearing swiss cheese just for you
This new one sure is intense
Blowing our minds with her fashion nonsense
We sure do like to snark on her
It's nice she provides such great fodder
She ain't here to start no trouble
She's just here to wear a moon crater ruffle
Her name is Katy
A rookie she's not
We see her on GFY a lot
She's worn muppets and rubber pants
And fuzzy dice on stage to dance
She has more tricks for us to view
A holey dress in a pumpkin hue
She ain't here to start no trouble
She's just here to wear a moon crater ruffle
OPTION TWO, by Sally Racket
Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" as Performed by Her Dress (Or, A Postmodern Cautionary Tale About the Potential Misunderstandings Engendered by Gaping Holes)
This was never the way I plannedNot my intention
I got so [ ], drink in hand
Lost my [ ]
It's not what I'm used to
Just wanna [ ] you [ ]
I'm [ ] for you
Caught my [ ]
I kissed a [ ] and I liked it
OPTION THREE: by Poltergasm
To the tune of Perry Como's "Accentuate the Positive"
"I've gotta accentuate the insanity
Cuddle close to tulle inanity
Russell Brand's my new calamity
I've got the good sense of a lima bean."
"I spread my joy WAY up to the maximum
Poppin' holes WAY up to my stern-i-um
Look close: see my vag-I-n-ium
Soon Russ'll have me having up fourteen"
{ed note: While he's the only guy upon the scene.
Sorry.}
("To illustrate my last remark
My Bible-toting parents spark,
Occasionally they even BARK, but
What did they do
Just when everything looked so dark?")
Man, they said we better
Accentuate salmon-effluvia
Plaster on the drip-mascaria
Chop holes from centrifug-ia
& Let her mess w/ always In-Between
Mess w/ Mister Meat who's In-Between
Chick on chick on chick, some not quite keen.
Genetics responsible for lima bean.
They learned from kissing girls
they wouldnt scream.
Just cut her clothes
til scarcely they'll be seen.
"I Kissed A Girl/Missed the Wall"
This guy at Sears whose name was Stan
I missed the wall and I'd like itSold me a Craftsman
I got so drunk, drill in hand
Lost my direction
It's not what, I aimed for
Just wanna hang a pic
I'm feeling blue 'cause I've
Drilled through my small intestine
If you could call a medic
I missed the wall and my thigh's hit
I hope Sears will refund it
It felt so wrong
To drill so quite
Close to my innards tonight
I missed the wall, ow my right hip
My right hip
[With a special shout-out to Marjan, who wrote: