Fug or Fab

March 18, 2009

Fug or Fab: Helena Christensen

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You know how, with most models, there's always SOMEONE gushing that they could wear a barrel accessorized with a bucket for a hat and make it look ammaaaaaaazzzzing? I feel like even the most enthusiastic Helena Christensen lover might look at this and go, "hmm."

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I mean, is it TERRIBLE? Does it make me want to BARF? Am I looking at it and considering throwing in the towel and moving to a secluded mountain top in Italy, where I will take the veil and live the rest of my life as a cloistered nun, simply so as to avoid ever seeing something like this again? No. On the other hand, is it AMAZING? Hardly. I feel....totally unmoved by it, except that I think it looks like the weirdly cheap lovechild of a bridesmaid's gown that would be advertised as being "for the mature wedding party" and something she rescued from the wood-chipper. Huh. I guess that's not exactly "unmoved." Turns out I hate it. Maybe I will take that vow.
 

poll by twiigs.com
Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 01:28 PM in Fug or Fab
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March 18, 2009

Fug or Fab: Agyness Deyn

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Hot on the heels of a high seeding in the 2009 Fug Madness contest for everything she wore in the past 12 months, Agyness Deyn showed up at a Valentino event with a sleeker style than usual:

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The hair is a huge improvement. And I love giant shiny clutch purses. But the dress itself... I can't decide if it's throwback glam, or some old stodgy thing that a depressed and jealous politician, or politician's wife, would wear to the Inaugural Ball. In 1989. And I may never understand the appeal of chain necklaces that long -- all I envision when I see them is a very long night of walking around the party and getting my business flogged by a very expensive whip.

poll by twiigs.com
Permalink | Posted By Heather at 10:47 AM in Agyness Deyn, Fug or Fab
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March 17, 2009

Fugly Betty

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On one hand, Becki Newton is about as cute as a button, I love this color on her, and we all know how I feel about sequins

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But on the other hand, as I was writing this piece, I realized that this might not be a dress. It might be...an uber-low-crotched jumpsuit. I KNOW. And I couldn't tell for AGES. But here's the evidence:
 

Continue reading Fugly Betty.
Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 01:12 PM in Fug or Fab
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March 17, 2009

Fug or Fab: Victoria Beckham

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I'm starting to feel like almost every post about Posh should be a Fug or Fab, because I am usually torn between the part of me that loves it when she's cuckoo and the part of me that thinks like a rational human being -- or the part of me that can't tell whether she's NOT being crazy at all, or if I just THINK she's not being crazy because what she's wearing isn't AS crazy as it usually is. Does that make ME crazy? As Gnarls Barkley once mused: possibly.

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[Photo: FlynetOnline.com]

So here, one part of my brain thinks, "That is an awesomely bold color, and the outfit is practically demure considering this is a person who once wore a strapless corset and hot pants to a Glamour party celebrating fashionable women. And she kind of pulls it off. I might love it. I might wish I could own it in a hue slightly less turned-up-to-eleven. I might want to know how much boob tape she's using. She might need to lay off the bronzer. I wonder if she's growing out that haircut. Wow, you could use her cheekbones to serve dip at a cocktail party. What were we talking about again? Oh yeah, the dress. I STILL might like it."

And then the other part chimes in with, "Yeah, but are you REALLY ready to embrace a dress that looks like the marriage between a giant blazer and a tennis skirt?"



poll by twiigs.com
Permalink | Posted By Heather at 12:14 PM in Fug or Fab, Posh & Becks
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March 16, 2009

Fug or Fab: Ginnifer Goodwin

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From the waist up, and the knees down, I love this:

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But I've been looking at it for ten minutes and I can't figure out why the middle part makes her look like a folded up umbrella. Ginnifer Goodwin is a petite little thing, so it's really beyond me why she looks so weirdly wide in the middle. Like...is there some pleating or bustling happening here that I just can't see in the picture? It is draped in a way that is fantastic in person, but doesn't translate to film? Does this dress have huge pockets, and she's got the New York Times shoved into her left one? Has her bottom half mysteriously expanded since the last time I saw her? (I've had days where I've felt like that myself.) The silhouette here is surely an optical illusion, right? Because I feel like this SHOULD be fabulous.


poll by twiigs.com
Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 12:32 PM in Fug or Fab, Ginnifer Goodwin
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March 12, 2009

Fug or Fab: Ever Carradine

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I kind of like Ever Carradine. For one thing, she manages to pull off having what is actually kind of a dumb name. For another, she was surprisingly likable in an easily unlikable part in the long-gone but very good Once and Again (I love you, Billy Campbell!) AND she was funny on the terrible-but-I-watched-it-anyway Men in Trees. Thank god I've been freed from THAT particular televisual prison. And I guess she's been on 24 this season? (I've been planning to do a Netflix marathon of this season eventually.) Anyhoodle, good on her for working all the time. Let's talk about her outfit:

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When I first saw this, I was kind of like, "OH NO," but now that I've actually looked at it, I think I kind of like it. I think I wish it were just a couple of inches shorter, and I really wish she'd worn it bare-legged, because her entire lower half is just sort of evaporating into nothingness and the length and the tights are making it dowdier than it actually is. I hate it when our tights are the architects of our betrayal.

poll by twiigs.com
Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 11:54 AM in Fug or Fab
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March 10, 2009

Fug or Fab or Fab or Fug or Fug or Fug or Fab or Fab: Emily Blunt and Amy Adams

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EMILY BLUNT: Hey, Amy.

AMY ADAMS: What up?

EMILY: I thought we talked about this.

AMY: About what?

EMILY: What we were wearing to this thing. I said, I was wearing a complicated but potentially charming cocktail dress and you said you were, too.

AMY: I lied.

EMILY: But why?

AMY: I don't know. I just did.

EMILY: I don't know why you would do that. But you're only hurting yourself.

AMY: Whatever do you mean?

EMILY: What do you mean, what do I mean? I look like I'm going to a premiere and you look like you're going to the Junior League's Annual Saturday Night Fever-themed Luncheon. It's just sort of a surprising choice, Amy.

AMY: Don't you like surprises?

EMILY: You are a weird woman.

AMY: Why don't we get a second opinion?

poll by twiigs.com
Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 12:03 PM in Amy Adams, Emily Blunt, Fug or Fab
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March 5, 2009

Fug or Fab: Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton

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I don't know about this, Baby Spice:

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[Photo: Splash News]

YOU are adorable. THIS is a bit...granny, no? Maybe it's the wee jacket? I'm not sure. I have a sinus infection and I think it might be reaching its claws into my brain. Nevertheless, something about it makes me feel as though you are about two minutes away from bursting into jazz hands.


poll by twiigs.com
Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 12:39 PM in Fug or Fab
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March 5, 2009

Fug or Fab the Cover: Katie Holmes

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I have to say, in Glamour's defense, the inside of this issue is actually quite good. It's full of useful stuff and pretty pictures, unlike Vogue, which is full of pretty pictures and long articles about secret hair salons on the Upper East Side that require you to present three letters of recommendation and exchange an egg just for a trim. Don't get me wrong: I deeply enjoy reading those articles. They're just not very applicable to real life. As for the cover, it may be a bit TOO MUCH like real life for me, in that I can't get over the fact that Joey Potter's hair looks really dirty.  Let's be honest: so is mine, right now. But I work from home. If I were going to be on the cover of a magazine (God forbid), I am pretty sure I'd wash it.


poll by twiigs.com
Permalink | Posted By Jessica at 11:20 AM in Fug The Cover, Fug or Fab, Katie Holmes
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March 4, 2009

Fug or Fab: Charlize Theron

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I think I might really like this. It's one of those dresses that probably only works if you're Charlize, you're 7-foot-45 and model-thin, and your legs are longer than a marathon.

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If I -- in all my 5'5"-on-a-good-day glory -- tried to put that on, I'd look like I'd been ambushed by the worst gift-wrapper in Nordstrom history. But the glamazonian Ms. Theron can wear all that fabric and still have ten yards of leg poking out the bottom, so it's not as overwhelming as it would be on anyone else. It's times like this that I wish Willy Wonka had a factory nearby so I could go on a tour and maybe accidentally get caught in some sort of stretching contraption, miraculously being rescued just when my height hits six feet. Sure, it would hurt, but fashion is pain.

That said, I'm still not sold on the neckline: Is it just me or does she look like she might be choking a little?

poll by twiigs.com
Permalink | Posted By Heather at 12:32 PM in Charlize Theron, Fug or Fab
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