Fug or Fab Archives

September 1, 2009

Daytime Emmy Awards Fab or Fug Carpet: Tatyana Ali

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First and foremost, I think we can all agree that Tatyana "Ashley Banks" Ali grew up to be super gorgeous.

But let's talk about her dress. I kind of can't figure it out. Like...literally. It's sequined....right? And....sort of striped? Or that's just how she's standing? And if so, does it vaguely resemble newsprint? And if so, is that still okay? Or is what looks like a pattern actually just reflections of the light combined with the way she's standing? Or are they a sort of Rorschach test-esque pattern in which I keep seeing a sports bra, and if so, does that mean my subconscious wants me to work out more? Or does any reference to The Fresh Prince just act as a flimsy excuse for me to post this?

(YouTube has yanked the sound from that video, but you KNOW what song is playing. Hum it at work.) You be the judge.

poll by twiigs.com

September 1, 2009

Fug or Fab: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen

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I am getting old.

Five years ago, this would have whipped me into a FRENZY over how RIDICULOUS it is that the Olsen twins are wearing #%tddw$%^##^&*()()))#@!!! tulle rabbit ears, like two tragic Playboy bunnies who're going through some kind of tiresome art school phase where they lounge around the mansion reading Anais Nin and smoking cloves and talking about how their work as centerfolds is really just a post-modern reclamation of the male gaze and telling Hef not to be such a phallocentrist perv. But now that I'm old, I feel like, a) screw The Girls Next Door, THAT's the reality show I want to watch, and b) eh, the rabbit ears are kind of cute in an admittedly obviously silly way, and the twins look fantastic from the neck down -- well, A does. M-K's dress is a bit too festooned for my taste, but...details -- so let's all just have a beer and relax.

poll by twiigs.com

August 31, 2009

Daytime Emmy Awards Fug or Fab: Stacy Haiduk

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Sweet Mary Jane, I love the Daytime Emmys. For one, I love soaps, and for another, it gives all these people who work tirelessly to make sure that we can still watch characters coming back from the dead, or marrying their way through an entire extended family, or trying to make themselves temporarily blind by injecting Botox into their [WORD REDACTED TO AVOID CAUSING ME SEVERE MENTAL TRAUMA].

And speaking of Mary Jane, this lady -- Stacy Haiduk -- plays a character on The Young and the Restless by that name.

Now, Mary Jane is really Patty Williams, who had good old-fashioned face-changing surgery so she could skulk into town pretending to be someone else and wreak havoc on her enemies, and also executed a good old-fashioned "drug a dude so he'll think you're someone else, sleep with you, and get you pregnant" scheme. And so even if I hate what she's wearing, this is probably the perfect thing for Ms. Haiduk's character: We can see her villainous nipple shields, and she's wearing truly evil semi-detached beaded sleeves, all of which make her look like a classic overdramatic soap villainess who likes to throw gala parties at which everyone drinks punch spiked with hormones and a dead body falls out of a cake (so, you know, your typical Labor Day barbecue).

But in aligning fashion and fiction, I'm thinking maybe Stacy shouldn't have gone QUITE so far. For instance, she brought her co-star:

Continue reading Daytime Emmy Awards Fug or Fab: Stacy Haiduk.

August 28, 2009

Fug or Fab: Jessica Stroup

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90210,
metallics

Help me out with this one, Fug Nation, because it's a Friday and I think you all know what happens to my brain on Fridays. (Actually, it's exactly like what happens to my brain on Mondays through Thursdays, but with a new issue of People in my mailbox.)

Is Jessica Stroup's dress cute and youthful and fun?

Or is this a shockingly accomplished piece of dressmaking using nothing but the wrappers from fun-sized Reese's peanut-butter cups?

Or is it both, because maybe a dress made of the detritus from a Reese's binge isn't necessarily a bad thing?

And don't you TOTALLY want some Reese's right now? I wish I was getting paid for this endorsement. I bet I just talked at least three people into buying some the next time they're at Target. You owe me about 20 cents of commission, Reese's People.

poll by twiigs.com

August 27, 2009

Fug or Fab: Olivia Palermo

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I truly am so torn:

I feel like I OUGHT to hate it, but I love stripes and there's something about it that's so charmingly gamine, even in a way that's bordering on stereotypical, like she considered tossing a beret on her head and a baguette in her pocket. It's hot, and my neighborhood seems like it's about twenty minutes away from bursting into flames (that's summer in Los Angeles for you), so it's entirely possible that my brain has simmered into thoughtless mush in my skull, but I think I like this in spite of myself. Kind of like how I feel about Real Housewives, which is where I fully expect to see Olivia come the 2014 premiere of Real Housewives: Upper East Side.

poll by twiigs.com

August 24, 2009

Melfug Place

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ASHLEE SIMPSON: SIGH.

KATIE CASSIDY: Right? Another day, another boring Melrose Place junket.

ASHLEE SIMPSON: I KNOW. But I'm glad to see you're keeping things fun by making a joke out of it.

KATIE: Me? YOU are the one making a joke out of it.

ASHLEE: Uh-uh, babe. I'm not the one dressed as a gymnast at the Olympics closing ceremony dance.

KATIE: I'M not the one who looks like she murdered a zebra. But hey, as long as you DIDN'T, then PETA won't come after you and everything will be fine.

ASHLEE: Oh, shut up. Admit it: I look kind of cute.

KATIE: Yeah, you do, actually. It's true. And so do I.

ASHLEE. I wouldn't go THAT far.

KATIE: Huh?

ASHLEE: You also kind of look like you're auditioning to play Julianne Hough in some Disney Channel movie all about how she first learned the paso doble.

KATIE: That's rich criticism coming from a girl who is vag-hugging everyone tonight.

ASHLEE: I don't know what you mean.

KATIE: Don't you? Well, allow me to illuminate.

Continue reading Melfug Place.

August 21, 2009

Fug or Fab: Katie Cassidy

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So, somehow I've kind of missed everything Katie Cassidy has ever done:

I didn't see her arc on Supernatural, and I only vaguely watched Harper's Island. So when I managed to get my hands on a screener of the new Melrose Place pilot, I was very surprised indeed to see that she's kind of a scream in it (that's a compliment). The whole enterprise, in fact, is pretty entertaining -- although I suspect I am preaching to choir as far as any Melrose iterations go. That being said: girlfriend, I actually like your dress, but you're made up like an overly zealous Benefit counter girl decided to use you as practice for her cosmetology exam and, I hate to break it to you, she is totally going to fail that thing. This much dress plus that much face is just too much.

poll by twiigs.com

August 20, 2009

Fug or Fab: Renee Zellweger

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great shoes,
orange

RENEE ZELLWEGER: Hello, I'm Renee Zellweger.

R.J CUTLER: And I'm R.J. Cutler, the producer/director of The September Issue.

RENEE: How've you been?

R.J: I'm great! I'd say more, but Jessica worked for me for many years and she finds it weirdly impossible for write dialogue for me. She would make a terrible biographer.

RENEE: I couldn't agree more! But enough about me. I want to talk about me, and my dress. I look cute, right? Youthful! Like I'm having a good time! The color is flattering! It's not ANOTHER boring strapless sheath! I FINALLY PULLED ONE OFF! Right? Right?!

R.J: Can we see it from the side?

Continue reading Fug or Fab: Renee Zellweger.

August 18, 2009

Inglourious Fug-or-fab-terds

When this photo was thumbnail-sized, I expected to enlarge it and find out that it was Diane Kruger. But no -- it's her Inglourious Basterds co-star Melanie Laurent.

You can kind of see why my brain went there, though, right? They're both blonde. Sometimes La Krug enjoys hairdos that evoke a milkmaid skipping through the meadow. And the top half of the dress reminds me of the kind of experiment-gone-wrong that DK undertakes sometimes -- like initially it was supposed to be a much more interesting dress, a veritable festival of sheer fabric erupting in head-cradling confusion, but the designer got bored somewhere around that haphazard, limp neck tie and just threw in a pencil skirt real fast so he/she could go to happy hour.

As for what Diane actually wore, here you go:

Continue reading Inglourious Fug-or-fab-terds.

August 13, 2009

Fug or Fab the Pockets: Angelina Jolie

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leather

We've said before we're tired of Angelina Jolie wearing the same boring array of colors -- but when the black dress she's squeezed into is made of LEATHER, well, I am totally on board. Because if ever there were a girl born to wear leather or a leather-like substance, it's Angelina. I don't care if it's a put-on or her actual personality; the woman leaks biker-chick from her pores so copiously that she might as well come with a factory-installed kick-stand and a sidecar.

So, for the most part, I loved the badass simplicity of this.

But I am not so sold on the pockets. On the red carpet, I think pockets are the devil. Given the amount I catch myself idly hanging my fingers out of my jeans pockets when I'm just in line at the supermarket, I cannot imagine how tempting it would be to fiddle with them when I'm stuck at an unending photo opportunity where everyone is screaming my name. Mercifully, I will never find out -- but judging from this photo, even Angelina is not immune to jamming her hands in her pockets for lack of any better idea about what to do with them. I guess it shows them off as a feature of the dress -- although in a tight leather frock, what could you keep in there but a bill and maybe a Listerine pocket pack? -- but the conundrum is: Fiddle with them, and look a bit like you're throwing secret gang signs, or don't touch them and risk them flapping open and giving your hips a weird contour. What's a girl to do? Methinks maybe just don't wear something with pockets. Especially when you are Angelina Jolie, and you have a giant man pocket walking beside you in the form of Brad Pitt.

poll by twiigs.com

Fug or Fab

Daytime Emmy Awards Fab or Fug Carpet: Tatyana Ali

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Fug or Fab: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen

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Daytime Emmy Awards Fug or Fab: Stacy Haiduk

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Fug or Fab: Jessica Stroup

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Fug or Fab: Olivia Palermo

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Melfug Place

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Fug or Fab: Katie Cassidy

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Fug or Fab: Renee Zellweger

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Inglourious Fug-or-fab-terds

Fug or Fab the Pockets: Angelina Jolie

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