Fug or Fab

July 28, 2009

Fug or Fab: Eva Mendes

On one hand: how charming! How garden party! How Betty Draper before you realize that beneath her shiny veneer roils a boiling vat of frustrated, tragic desperation that I have long feared will end with someone's head in an oven!

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On the other hand: must those flowers be SO symmetrical that they -- to rapidly switch metaphorical gears -- somehow manage to remind of me of the scene in Sleeping With the Enemy where Julia comes home to find....HER CANNED GOODS ARE ALPHABETIZED!!!! and therefore she's about to get murdered? Some things should be haphazard, and floral prints and canned yams are two of them.

Okay, Diane. I see where you were going here.

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[Photo: Splash News]

It's a little black dress, very girly, paired with some cute shoes and your favorite accessory: your legs. (Well, second-favorite; we're pretty sure Pacey is her first choice of adornment with any outfit, and that's as it should be. If Intern George ever quits -- PERISH THE THOUGHT -- Pacey just might have a place here with us.)

Ahem. Where was I? Ah, yes, D.Krugs: I just don't know. The twee tutu-ruffle around her hips looked, at first, like her pockets are inside-out, as if she'd been frisked on her way in and not put back together properly. This led my mind on a long and winding path to the movie Clue, whereupon I decided Diane's look here is one part Yvette, one part Mrs. White (please God, not the part where she offs her gentlemen friends), and one part that moment where Wadsworth says, "The gun is missing. Gentlemen, turn out your pockets. Ladies, empty your purses. Whoever's got the gun... IS THE MURDERER."

All that stuff, of course, is awesome. But as a fashion statement? On a day that's NOT  Halloween, nor a local showing of Clue in which a group of players re-enacts it in front of the screen while the audience interacts Rocky Horror-style and shows up in costume (yes, such a thing DOES exist and I've been, and it rules, and I really regret not arriving in a Mrs. White wig)? I'm not sure.

I would keep all the accessories and start over on the dress -- specifically, lopping off the tutu, and adjusting the sweetheart neckline, which doesn't quite look as though it properly fits. Then, maybe some lipstick that's less of a cousin to that whole baby-pink trend. And I'd for sure adjust her hair, because as it is, the greased-back-but-flowy thing just makes her look like she's trying to approximate a mullet. No no, Diane. One cannot go half-hearted with a mullet. You go big or go home.

What would YOU change, if anything? Discuss it in the comments. The usual rules apply: no in-fighting, no back-biting, no arm-wrestling, no using anyone's face as dust rag, etc. 
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Katherine Heigl? Pretty. The dress? Pretty. This picture? Pretty...AWKWARD. AM I RIGHT, LADIES? THANKS EVERYONE, I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK!


I have a confession to make.  It is really going to shock you. So, I took a little mini-break to Portland this past weekend and I lugged all my magazines onto the plane to do some catch-up reading. I was like three months behind on Vogue. And I finally got to the Sienna Miller issue and I was reading her profile in it and...she came off kind of charming. I KNOW. But she seemed kind of rueful and self-deprecating and like...normal. I know, I've got years of complaining about her behind me but I am willing to admit that I kind of liked her after I read the article and maybe it was just the altitude talking but there you are. Don't worry. I'm SURE this won't last. Although she's being a good sport about what happened on this recent G.I. Joe photocall:

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I guess someone had the bright idea to transport the actors across the Thames in one of those white-water-rafting-type boats and Sienna, obviously, got drenched en route. Hee. I have to say, good on her for just going with it.

But let's take a look at her pants:

When I saw this photo, I actually squealed, "Oh! Toni Collette!" I love her and I kind of forgot she existed. (I don't watch her Showtime show. In fact, I have no idea why I still even HAVE Showtime now that The Tudors has forgotten it's a soap opera and has been exclusively focusing on old dudes arguing about religion. BORING.)

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And I think she looks pretty great, from the hem of her skirt upwards (although I would put on some lipstick if I were her, I choose to believe that maybe she just left it all on the side of her martini glass just before this photo was snapped). But let's look at the leg/foot situation:

Kate Walsh has been all about the shorts lately -- which, if I had her legs, I probably would be too.  I just read something about how her divorce is about to get really ugly because her ex's lawyer is allowed to depose ABC about her earnings potential at the network, and if that's true, then I guess divorce suits her because she's clearly working out all that aggression on her quads. Thanks in large part to them, I'm actually thinking mostly favorable thoughts about her formal-shorts ensemble here.

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[All photos: WENN.com]

Don't misunderstand: It's still formal shorts, and I still find that concept a bit silly. But as far as seasonal whimsy goes, Kate looks kind of fabulous here -- the suit theme is playful, and the clutch and phenomenal gold wedges accessorize it really well without taking it over the top. It all makes me want to go sit outside somewhere fabulous and have a mojito, which is quite an achievement, considering it was 103 degrees in my back yard today and merely walking to the car felt like going into menopause.


However, I wish the hot California sun would've incinerated this little number:

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KATHERINE: God, I feel good. I'm pretty, I'm thin, I'm loaded, I already have an Emmy so I SERIOUSLY DON'T CARE that I wasn't nominated again NO REALLY I DON'T NEED YOUR MEANINGLESS TROPHIES, I'm in an expensive dress, I'm a brunette again and I kind of look better that way, and I'm taller than, like, everyone standing behind me right now. Life is so good.

VOICE: Hey, Katherine! KATHERINE!

KATHERINE: Who is... Oh, Jesus, no. Not him.

July 14, 2009

Fug or Fab: Evanna Lynch

The last few times we saw Evanna Lynch around these parts, she was encased in a plaid sack and wearing oversized pants that may have belonged to someone homeless, or to Rupert Grint (sometimes it's hard to tell the difference). So I'd call this a massive step in the right direction for her...

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... right up until we get to her ankles. On the whole I prefer shoes that don't give the illusion that the wearer only recently broke free from captivity in someone's basement.

However, credit where credit is due: She almost pulls them off, given that they don't make her look nearly as cankletastic as I would've expected from what amounts to little more than a pair of leather socks. Sniffle. So even though her coat dress is a tad baby-doll and I am loath to throw my support behind her footwear, on the whole our little Luna Lovegood is all grown up and brushing her hair and EVERYTHING. You guys, I think she just might make it after all.

Since this is an opinion site, I suppose I shouldn't have to disclaim that the following is just my opinion. But in this case, I really am guided by one knee-jerk reaction against the material.

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Empirically, Christina Ricci is a very cute girl, and I like the cut of the dress. But I'm entirely turned off by the fabric. I am not a fan of light-blue satin that's so shiny you could look down at Earth from the moon and groan, "OW, MY EYES." It feels like that color and that fabric should only be married in the form of slinky pajamas or perhaps a bridesmaid's dress -- which makes me wonder if she's simply trying to salvage gowns she'd already ordered for her aborted wedding to That Dude She Was Engaged To For Like An Hour. I appreciate the nod to recycling, if that's the case, but couldn't she have made some sleepwear? Or perhaps a raft of really nice pillowcases?

Just in case my bias against the material has blinded me, though, I shall throw it to you, Fug Nation:

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[Photo: Splash News]

Let's talk about this.

  1. She's beautiful, of course.
  2. Does she look a bit...vampiric?
  3. Although vampires are really IN right now.
  4. I like hot pink!
  5. She looks hungry.
  6. FOR BLOOD?
  7. Maybe just for a sandwich
  8. That's a LOT of makeup.
  9. It's a magazine cover, you dolt! THEY WEAR MAKEUP. Besides, she's supposed to be SMOULDERING. What better way to smoulder than via massive amounts of eyeliner?
  10. That's an excellent question.

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